25 Best Mental Health Blogs to Follow in 2020

(Updated 11/1/20) A list of 25+ mental health, wellness, and personal development blogs

(Updated 11/1/20) Creating Mind Remake Project opened my eyes to a whole world of blogs. There are tons of informative and thought-provoking mental health blogs out there on mental health and related topics.

This is a list of the best mental health blogs to follow in 2020 as well as helpful sites about wellness and personal development.

25 Best Mental Health Blogs to Follow in 2020

1. ACA Counseling Corner Blog | “Thoughtful ideas, suggestions, and strategies for helping you to live a happier and healthier life”

2. Aim Hypnotherapy & Counseling Blog | A blog by therapist Aigin Larki about anxiety, addiction, stress, and related topics

3. Anxiety Free World Blog | A mental health blog about coping with anxiety (by a writer with anxiety)

4. Brave Over Perfect | A blog about personal growth topics by Dr. Christine Carter and Susie Rinehart

5. Brené Brown Blog | A personal growth and development blog

6. David’s Blog | A pharmacology and mental health blog by Dr. David Healy, psychiatrist, psychopharmacologist, scientist, and author

7. David Susman, Ph.D. | A blog with resources and inspiration for better mental health by Dr. Susman, clinical psychologist, mental health advocate, professor

8. Dr. Melissa Welby | A blog about psychiatry and wellbeing by Harvard-trained psychiatrist, Dr. Welby

9. Dr. Sarah Ravin | A professional blog about psychological issues and evidence-based treatments by Dr. Ravin, a licensed psychologist

10. Everything Matters: Beyond Meds | An award-winning mental health blog on topics related to psychotropics and mental illness by Monica Cassani, ex-patient and mental health professional

11. Gardening Love | A unique wellness, ecotherapy, and lifestyle blog about enhancing mental health through gardening

12. Info Counselling: Evidence Based Therapy Techniques | A blog by a professional counselor with the latest evidence-based treatments and downloadable therapy worksheets

13. Love and Life Toolbox | An award-winning blog about relationships and emotional health by Lisa Brookes Kift, marriage and family therapist

14. Mindcology | A blog with mental health and self-help posts written by psychologists, counselors, and other mental health practitioners

15. The Mighty | “A digital health community created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities”

16. Momentus Institute Blog | A blog dedicated to building and repairing the social emotional health of children

17. MQ News and Blog | A blog about transforming mental health care through research

18. My Brain’s Not Broken | A blog about personal experience with mental illness and reducing stigma

19. NAMI Blog | An advocacy blog from the National Alliance on Mental Illness

20. Our Parent Place: Where Mental Health and Parenting Meet | A place for parents with mental illness to connect and learn

21. Psych Central Network Blogs | A list of mental health blogs by experts, professionals, and ordinary people who share their insights on a variety of mental health topics

22. Psychology Today Blogs | A large collection of blogs on psychology-related topics, including creativity, intelligence, memory, parenting, and more

23. SAMHSA Blog | “A place where up-to-date information including articles from SAMHSA staff, announcements of new programs, links to reports, grant opportunities, and ways to connect to other resources are located”

24. A Splintered Mind | A blog by Douglas Scootey about “overcoming ADHD and depression with lots of humor and attitude”

25. Thriving While Disabled | A blog about living with a disability

Additional Mental Health Blogs to Follow

Blunt Therapy | “Tips, advice, and analysis from a licensed therapist who’s been there”

Healthy Place Blogs | A page with links to other mental health blogs

Janaburson’s Blog | A blog created to help people better understand the medication-assisted treatment of opioid addiction using either buprenorphine (Suboxone) or methadone from a physician, board-certified in Internal Medicine and Addiction Medicine

Pete Earley | Advocacy blog for mental health reform

Your Brain Health | A blog about topics related to mental health and neurology by Dr. Sarah McKay, a neuroscientist


Know of any great mental health blogs not listed? Post in a comment!

mental health blogs

How to Help a Loved One with Addiction: 7 Tips that Promote Recovery

How to help a loved one with addiction (7 tips) and how to tell the difference between helping and enabling

When it comes to someone else’s alcohol or drug use, how can you tell the difference between helping and enabling, and how can you help a loved one with addiction?

In my work at a residential treatment center, I’ve worked with family members who inadvertently fueled their loved one’s addiction. They “helped” by bailing them out of jail, giving them money, etc., which only enabled the individual to continue to get high. It’s hard for family members to differentiate between behaviors that help versus enable.

If you’re unfamiliar with the term “enable,” it means “to provide with the means or opportunity” or “to make possible, practical, or easy” (according to Merriam-Webster). When applied to substance use, it means a person in active addiction is provided with the means to continue to use.

Helping a person in active addiction means supporting their basic needs, such as food, water, shelter, and clothing. (If someone is in jail or treatment, their basic needs are met; therefore, bailing them out would be enabling.) Thinking in terms of “needs vs. wants” helps you to recognize enabling and therefore, to help a loved one with addiction.

When a parent has a son or daughter with an addiction, it’s especially difficult to make the distinction between helping and enabling. A parent’s natural inclination is to nurture and protect from harm. It’s heart-wrenching to see your child in pain. But if a parent doesn’t set (and adhere to) healthy boundaries, they will quickly become emotionally drained (as they enable their child’s addiction).

Here are some ways to help a loved one with addiction who’s actively using:

1. Never (ever) offer money.

If asked for cash for food, for example, buy groceries instead (or offer to take them to lunch). I worked with a father who bought a bag of groceries for his son, who struggled with severe alcoholism and was homeless, on a weekly basis. This is an excellent example of how to help a loved one with addiction versus enabling their drug use.

2. If asked for help paying bills, say no. 

If your loved one doesn’t have to pay the electric bill, they’ll probably spend that money on drugs or alcohol. Furthermore, if you protect them from the consequences of not paying bills (i.e. having the power shut off), your loved one is less likely to see a need for change. (People don’t change when they’re comfortable.)

3. If your loved one is addicted to opioids (heroin, morphine, hydrocodone, etc.), attend a training or take an online course on opioid overdose reversal (Narcan [naloxone] administration).

If you’re unsure where local trainings are offered, a Google search for “Narcan training” or “opioid reversal training” will link you to resources in your area. Most trainings are free. Keep a Narcan kit on your person at all times. Provide your loved one with a kit (or two) as well.

This is not enabling. Help a loved one with addiction by potentially saving their life, thereby giving them the opportunity to recover. (A dead opioid-user doesn’t recover.)

4. Offer to help them get into treatment.

Become familiar with the different treatment options in your area. Don’t give ultimatums (i.e. “If you don’t get treatment, I’ll divorce you”) or make threats (especially if you’re not willing to follow through).

Be supportive, not judgmental. Be patient; when your loved one is emotionally and physically drained from addiction’s painful consequences (or when they hit “rock bottom”), they may decide it’s time to get help. And you’ll be ready.

5. Recognize that your loved one is not the same person they were before addiction.

Substance use disorder is a debilitating disease that damages the brain; it changes how a person feels and thinks. With addiction, the brain’s reward center is rewired, resulting in a biological “need” for drugs/alcohol. (Compare this to your need for food or water or air.)

Recognize that your loved one’s addiction will lie to you. They will do whatever it takes to get their “needs” met. Your loved one’s addiction will steal from you. (Lock up your valuables if they have access to your home… and even if they don’t. I’ve worked with more than a few individuals who have broken into their parents’ home for either money for drugs or valuables to pawn for money for drugs.)

Your loved one’s addiction will betray you. Accepting the nature of addiction will help you to set healthy boundaries.

6. Attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meetings.

By engaging with others with similar struggles, you’ll learn more about supporting your loved one (without enabling their addiction). You’ll also build a supportive network by connecting with others, strengthening your emotional health.

7. When in doubt, try asking yourself one (or all) of the following questions:

  • Will my actions help my loved one to continue to drink or use?
  • Is this a “want” or a basic need?
  • Will my actions prevent them from experiencing a natural consequence?

Conclusion

Addiction is a devastating, but treatable, disease. The road to recovery is difficult and long (with many detours).

While you can never control someone else’s behaviors, there are ways to help a loved one with addiction. Be kind and compassionate; they’re in an unthinkable amount of pain. They didn’t choose addiction. The best way to support them is by setting healthy boundaries to ensure you’re not enabling continued use.

Boundaries allow you to help them without furthering their addiction. Boundaries also serve as protection for you and your emotional health; you’re in no position to help if you’re emotionally, financially, and spiritually depleted.


Please share in a comment your suggestions for helping a loved one with addiction.

help a loved one with addiction

500 Free Online Assessment & Screening Tools

A list of over 500 free online assessment and screening tools for mental health professionals or self-help.

(Updated 9/20/22) This is a list of over 500 free online assessment screenings for clinical use and for self-help purposes. While an assessment cannot take the place of a diagnosis, it can give you a better idea if what you’re experiencing is “normal.”

Image by GuHyeok Jeong from Pixabay

For additional online assessment tools to use with couples, see Free Marriage & Relationship Assessment Tools.


500 Free Online Assessment & Screening Tools


Addiction & Substance Use Disorders

PDF and interactive online assessment tools for substance use disorders and other addictions


Anxiety & Mood Disorders

PDF and interactive online assessment tools for anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorders


Trauma, Stress, & Related Disorders Online Assessment Tools


Obsessive-Compulsive & Related Disorders Online Assessment Tools


Online Assessment Tools for Eating Disorders


Online Assessment Tools for Personality Disorders


Boundaries & Attachment Styles


Relationships & Communication


For additional relationship and communication assessments, see Free Marriage & Relationship Assessment Tools.


Anger


For additional online assessment tools and resources, see Resources for Anger Management.


Violence & Sexual Assault


Suicide Risk & Self-Injury

  • Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale | PDF scale
  • Deliberate Self-Harm Inventory | Measurement of deliberate self-harm (PDF)
  • Imminent Risk and Action Plan | Assessment/plan (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Lifetime – Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Count (L-SASI) Instructions Scoring | The L-SASI is an interview to obtain a detailed lifetime history of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior. Citation: Linehan, M. M. &, Comtois, K. (1996). Lifetime Parasuicide History. University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Lineham Risk Assessment and Management Protocol | Citation: Linehan, M. M. (2009). University of Washington Risk Assessment Action Protocol: UWRAMP, University of WA, Unpublished work. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Non-Suicidal Self-Injury Assessment Tool Brief Version | Full Version | Assessment tool (Source: Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery)
  • NSSI Measures Archives | A collection of instruments for self-harm (Source: International Society for the Study of Self-Injury)
  • NSSI Severity Assessment | A PDF assessment tool to assess the severity of non-suicidal self-injury (Source: Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery)
  • Reasons for Living Scale Scoring Instructions | RFL Scale (long form – 72 items) | RFL Scale (short form – 48 items) | RFL Scale (Portuguese) | RFL Scale (Romanian) | RFL Scale (Simplified Chinese) | RFL Scale (Traditional Chinese) | RFL Scale (Thai) | The RFL is a self-report questionnaire that measures clients’ expectancies about the consequences of living versus killing oneself and assesses the importance of various reasons for living. The measure has six subscales: Survival and Coping Beliefs, Responsibility to Family, Child-Related Concerns, Fear of Suicide, Fear of Social Disapproval, and Moral Objections. Citation: Linehan M. M., Goodstein J. L., Nielsen S. L., & Chiles J. A. (1983). Reasons for staying alive when you are thinking of killing yourself: The Reasons for Living Inventory. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51, 276-286. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Self-Injury Questionnaire | To assess self-harm (PDF, assessment in appendix)
  • Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire | SBQ with Variable Labels | SBQ Scoring Syntax | The SBQ is a self-report questionnaire designed to assess suicidal ideation, suicide expectancies, suicide threats and communications, and suicidal behavior. Citation: Addis, M. & Linehan, M. M. (1989). Predicting suicidal behavior: Psychometric properties of the Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire. Poster presented at the Annual Meeting of the Association for the Advancement Behavior Therapy, Washington, DC. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII) SASII Instructions For Published SASII | SASII Standard Short Form with Supplemental Questions | SASII Short Form with Variable Labels | SASII Scoring Syntax | Detailed Explanation of SPSS Scoring Syntax | The SASII (formerly the PHI) is an interview to collect details of the topography, intent, medical severity, social context, precipitating and concurrent events, and outcomes of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior during a target time period. Major SASII outcome variables are the frequency of self-injurious and suicidal behaviors, the medical risk of such behaviors, suicide intent, a risk/rescue score, instrumental intent, and impulsiveness. Citation: Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., Brown, M. Z., Heard, H. L., Wagner, A. (2006). Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII): Development, reliability, and validity of a scale to assess suicide attempts and intentional self-injury. Psychological Assessment, 18(3), 303-312. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Ask Suicide-Screening Questions (ASQ) Toolkit | Source: National Institute of Mental Health
  • University of WA Suicide Risk/Distress Assessment Protocol | Citations: Reynolds, S. K., Lindenboim, N., Comtois, K. A., Murray, A., & Linehan, M. M. (2006). Risky assessments: Participant suicidality and distress associated with research assessments in a treatment study of suicidal behavior. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior, (36)1, 19-33. Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., &, Ward-Ciesielski, E. F. (2012). Assessing and managing risk with suicidal individuals. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 19(2), 218-232. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)

For additional resources for suicide risk, see Resources for Suicide Prevention & Recovery.


Self-Esteem & Self-Compassion


Online Assessment Tools for Personality & Temperament


Emotional Intelligence


Health & Wellness

PDF and interactive online assessment tools for happiness, resiliency, exercise, sleep, nutrition, and other health/wellness topics


Additional Online Assessment & Screening Tools

PDF and interactive online assessment tools for various topics related to mental health, addiction, and other topics

  • Abnormal Involuntary Movement Scale | 2-page PDF (Source: UMASS Medical School) (1998)
  • Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale (ASRS-v1.1) Symptom Checklist | A 3-page PDF with scoring instructions (Source: UMASS Medical School/ADD.org)
  • Affect Intensity Measure (AIM) | 40-question and 20-question PDF versions of the assessment (Citation: Larsen, R. J. (1984). Theory and measurement of affect intensity as an individual difference characteristic. Dissertation Abstracts International, 85, 2297B.)
  • APA Online Assessment Measures | PDF screening tools (Source: American Psychiatric Association)
  • Behavioral Tests | A collection of psychiatric assessments (Source: Lamar Soutter Library)
  • Brief Fear of Negative Evaluation Scale (BFNE) | 1-page PDF that can be completed online or printed, scoring instructions not included
  • Brief Psychiatric Rating Scale (BPRS) | 1-page PDF (Source: Psychiatric Times)
  • Buss Lab Research Instruments | Assessments for friendship, sex, jealousy, etc. (Source: Buss Lab)
  • Career Assessments | Self-assessments to assess interests, skills, and work values
  • Clance Impostor Syndrome Scale | 3-page PDF, includes scoring information (Source: The Impostor Phenomenon: When Success Makes You Feel Like A Fake (pp. 20-22), by P.R. Clance, 1985, Toronto: Bantam Books.)
  • Communication Research Measures | Source: James McCroskey, West Virginia University
  • CSDS DP Infant-Toddler Checklist | A PDF printable checklist for identifying early warning signs of autism
  • DBT-WCCL Scale and Scoring | Citation: Neacsiu, A. D., Rizvi, S. L., Vitaliano, P. P., Lynch, T. R., & Linehan, M. M. (2010). The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Ways of Coping Checklist (DBT-WCCL).: Development and psychometric properties. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 66(61), 1-20. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Decision Making Individual Differences Inventory
  • The Defeat Scale (D Scale) | 2-page PDF (Source: The Compassionate Mind Foundation)
  • Demographic Data Scale | A self-report questionnaire used to gather extensive demographic information from the client. Citation: Linehan, M. M. (1982). Demographic Data Schedule (DDS). University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Diary Cards NIMH S-DBT Diary Card NIDA Diary Card CARES Diary Card | Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology
  • Division 12 Assessment Repository | Source: Society of Clinical Psychology
  • EAP Lifestyle Management Self-Assessments | A small collection of screening tools
  • Emotional Regulation Questionnaire (ERQ) | A short PDF scale to assess emotional regulation
  • The Entrapment Scale | 2-page PDF with scoring information, 1998 (Source: The Compassionate Mind Foundation)
  • Family Accommodation Scale – Anxiety | Family Accommodation Scale – Anxiety (Child Report) | PDF scales, scoring instructions not included
  • Financial Well-Being Questionnaire | Take this 10-question interactive test and receive a score (along with helpful financial tips)
  • Focus on Emotions | PDF assessment instruments for children and adolescents from 9 to 15 years. Includes Empathy Questionnaire (EmQue), Mood List, Alexithymia Questionnaire for Children, Emotion Awareness Questionnaire (EAQ), BARQ, Behavioral Anger Response Questionnaire, Worry / Rumination, Somatic Complaint List, Instrument for Reactive and Proactive Aggression (IRPA) Self-Report, Brief Shame and Guilt Questionnaire for Children, Coping Scale, and Social-Emotional Development Tasks
  • Grief and Loss Quiz | Interactive quiz (Source: PsychCentral)
  • Guilt and Shame Proneness scale (GASP) | 4-page PDF with scoring information, 2011 (Source: Taya R. Cohen)
  • HealthyPlace Psychological Tests | Interactive tests for abuse, anxiety, depression, personality disorders, and more (Source: HealthyPlace)
  • Helpful Questionnaires | Topics are varied (Source: James W. Pennebaker/University of Texas at Austin)
  • IDR Labs Tests | Interactive psychology tests
  • Integrated Biopsychosocial Assessment Form | 16-page PDF assessment form
  • Intellectual Humility Quiz | Online interactive test (Source: Greater Good Magazine) 🆕
  • Internalized Stigma of Mental Illness Inventory (ISMI) | 2-page PDF (Source: J. Ritsher, University of California, San Francisco)
  • Library of Scales | 25 psychiatric scales (PDF documents) to be used by mental health practitioners in clinical practice. Includes Frequency, Intensity, and Burden of Side Effects Ratings; Fagerstrom Test for Nicotine Dependence; Fear Questionnaire; Massachusetts General Hospital Hair Pulling Scale; and more. (Note: Some of the assessments have copyright restrictions for use.) (Source: Outcome Tracker)
  • Measurement Instrument Database for the Social Sciences | A searchable database (Source: MIDSS)
  • Measures and Scales | Source: University of Utah Psychology Faculty
  • Mental Health Screening Tools | Online screenings for depression, anxiety, bipolar, psychosis, eating disorders, PTSD, and addiction. You can also take a parent test (for a parent to assess their child’s symptoms), a youth test (for a youth to report his/her symptoms), or a workplace health test. The site includes resources and self-help tools.
  • Military Health System Assessments | Interactive tests for PTSD, alcohol/drug use, relationships, depression, sleep, anxiety, anger, and stress
  • Mind Diagnostics
  • Mindset Assessment: What’s My Mindset? | Online interactive test, requires email sign-up to view results (Source: Mindsetworks) 🆕
  • Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers, Revised, with Follow-Up | Free download and scoring instructions
  • The Multidimensional Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire (MEAQ) | 3-page PDF with scoring information, 2011 (Citation: Gamez, W., Chmielewski, M., Kotov, R., Ruggero, C., & Watson, D. (in press). Development of a measure of experiential avoidance: The Multidimensional Experiential Avoidance Questionnaire (MEAQ), Psychological Assessment.)
  • Open Source Psychometrics Project | This site provides a collection of interactive personality and other tests, including the Open Extended Jungian Type Scales, the Evaluations of Attractiveness Scales, and the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale.
  • Other as Shamer Scale (OAS) | 2-page PDF with scoring information, 1994 (Source: The Compassionate Mind Foundation)
  • Parental Affect Test | The Linehan Parental Affect Test is a self-report questionnaire that assesses parent responses to typical child behaviors. Citation: Linehan, M. M., Paul, E., & Egan, K. J. (1983). The Parental Affect Test – Development, validity and reliability. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 12, 161-166. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Patient Health Questionnaire Screeners | This is a great diagnostic tool for clinicians. Use the drop down arrow to choose a PHQ or GAD screener (which assesses mood, anxiety, eating, sleep, and somatic concerns). The site generates a PDF printable; you can also access the instruction manual. No permission is required to reproduce, translate, display or distribute the screeners.
  • Project Implicit | A variety of interactive assessments that measures your hidden biases
  • Project Teach Rating Scales | PDF assessments for children and youth
  • Psychological Self-Tests and Quizzes | Interactive tests (Source: Counselling Resource)
  • Psychologist World Personality & Psychology Tests | Interactive tests
  • Psychology Scales | Topics are varied, including likability, honesty, expertise, etc.) (Source: Stephen Reysen)
  • Psychology Tools | Online self-assessments for addiction, ADHD, aggression, anxiety, autism spectrum, bipolar, depression, eating disorders, OCD, and personality.
  • PsychTests | Interactive tests for intelligence, personality, career, health, relationships, and lifestyle & attitude
  • PsychTools | Searchable database
  • Psymed Psychological Tests | Interactive tests for addiction, anxiety, mood disorders, personality disorders, and more
  • Questioning Reality Self-Check | Interactive questionnaire (Source: Foundry)
  • Recovery Assessment Scales | A variety of assessments for individuals recovering from psychiatric illnesses
  • Research-Based Psychological Tests | Questionnaires for anxiety, depression, personality, etc. (Source: Excel At Life)
  • Revised Beliefs About Voices Questionnaire (BAVQ-R) | Citation: CHADWICK, P., LEES, S., & BIRCHWOOD, M. (2000). The British Journal of Psychiatry, 177, 229-232.
  • Ruminitive Responses Scale | 1-page PDF (Source: Treynor, Gonzalez, and Nolen-Hoeksema, 2003)
  • Self-Assessment Checklist for Personnel Providing Behavioral Health Services and Supports to Children, Youth and their Families | 4-page PDF (Source: Tawara D. Goode, National Center for Cultural Competence) (1989, revised 2009)
  • Scales | 3 assessments available (Need for Closure, Locomotion, and Assessment) (Source: Motivated Cognition Lab
  • Science of Behavior Change Measures | Assessments for stress, communication, relationships, emotional regulation, and more
  • Screening Tools – Autism Canada | Interactive screening tools for autism for toddlers, children, teens, and adults (Source: Autism Canada) 🆕
  • Sensitivity Test for Adults | A carefully designed questionnaire to measure sensitivity in adults. (There is also a version for children.) 🆕
  • The Shame Inventory | 3-page PDF (Citation: Rizvi, S. L. (2010). Development and preliminary validation of a new measure to assess shame: The Shame Inventory. Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 32(3), 438-447.)
  • Social History Interview (SHI) | The SHI is an interview to gather information about a client’s significant life events over a desired period of time. The SHI was developed by adapting and modifying the psychosocial functioning portion of both the Social Adjustment Scale-Self Report (SAS-SR) and the Longitudinal Interview Follow-up Evaluation Base Schedule (LIFE) to assess a variety of events (e.g., jobs, moves, relationship endings, jail) during the target timeframe. Using the LIFE, functioning is rated in each of 10 areas (e.g., work, household, social interpersonal relations, global social adjustment) for the worst week in each of the preceding four months and for the best week overall. Self-report ratings using the SAS-SR are used to corroborate interview ratings. Citations: Weissman, M. M., & Bothwell, S. (1976). Assessment of social adjustment by patient self-report. Archives of General Psychiatry, 33, 1111-1115. Keller, M. B., Lavori, P. W., Friedman, B., Nielsen, E. C., Endicott, J., McDonald-Scott, P., & Andreasen, N. C. (1987). The longitudinal interval follow-up evaluation: A comprehensive method for assessing outcome in prospective longitudinal studies. Archives of General Psychiatry, 44, 540-548. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Somatoform Dissociation Questionnaire | A PDF assessment, scoring information here
  • Soul Shepherding Assessments | Assess for emotional intelligence, life stress events, and stress overload (3 PDF assessments)
  • Stanford Medicine WellMD | Self-tests for altruism, anxiety, burnout, depression, emotional intelligence, empathy, happiness, mindfulness, physical fitness, PTSD, relationship trust, self-compassion, sleepiness, stress, substance use, and work-life balance
  • Supervisory Relationship Questionnaire (SRQ) | PDF scale with scoring instructions
  • Survey Instruments and Scales | To assess risky sexual behaviors (Source: CAPS)
  • Therapist Interview | The TI is an interview to gather information from a therapist about their treatment for a specific client. Citation: Linehan, M. M. (1987). Therapist Interview. University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • Treatment History Interview | Appendices | The THI is an interview to gather detailed information about a client’s psychiatric and medical treatment over a desired period of time. Citation: Linehan, M. M. &, Heard, H. L. (1987). Treatment history interview (THI). University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work. Therapy and Risk Notes – do not use without citation. For clarity of how to implement these items, please see Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Book, Chapter 15. (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology)
  • TTM Measures | To assess for self-efficacy, decision-making, process of change, etc. (Source: HABITS Lab)
  • Voice Hearing: A Questionnaire | 17-page PDF questionnaire for hearing voices (Source: South Bay Project Resource)
  • Whirlwind of Psychological Tests | A modest collection of tools (Source: Delroy L. Paulhus)
  • Why Do You Lie? | Interactive quiz (Source: WebMD)

online assessment

If you know of a free assessment for mental health or addiction that’s not listed here, please share in a comment! Contact me if a link is not working.

4 Strategies for Better Decision-Making

People with “big picture” styles of reasoning make better decisions. Learn 4 strategies for “big picture” thinking for better decision-making.

A recent study found that a “big picture” style of thinking led to better decision-making. (“Better” decisions were defined as those resulting in maximum benefits.)

If ever you took the Myers-Briggs (a personality assessment), and fell on the “Intuition” side of the spectrum (like me!), it’s likely you’re already a “big picture” thinker. If you’re on the “Sensing” side, you’re more apt to examine individual facts before considering the sum of all parts when decision-making.

“Big picture” thinking is a practical and balanced method of reasoning. It suggests taking a step back (zoom out!)… and looking to see how all pieces fit together for more effective decision-making.

The following strategies promote “big picture” thinking for better decision-making:

1. Get a good night’s rest

Researchers from the Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center found that sleep is essential for “relational memory” (or the ability to make inferences, i.e. “big picture” thinking) for good decision-making.

Before making a tough decision, sleep on it; you’ll wake up with a new perspective! In addition to healthy sleep hygiene, the following strategies have been found to improve sleep:

2. Don’t deliberate for long

Research indicates that when weighing out options, it’s ideal to take small breaks. For more effective decision-making, don’t deliberate for long periods of time or you’ll start to lose focus. If things become fuzzy, you won’t see the big picture.

3. Bay day = bad decision

One study found that a positive mood is related to a “big picture” thinking style. Good moods are associated with broader and more flexible thinking. A positive mood enables someone to step back emotionally, psychologically distancing themselves from the decision at hand.

If you’re feeling salty, hold off decision-making. Instead, try one (or all!) of the following research-based techniques for boosting your mood:

4. Get a second opinion

Ask around to learn how others’ view your situation. Every perspective you collect is another piece of the “big picture” puzzle.

Seek opinions from those you trust (only those who have your best interests in mind). Make sure you ask a variety of people (especially those with whom you typically disagree). The end result is a broader and more comprehensive awareness of what you’re facing.


Employ all four strategies to optimize your thinking style and decision-making skills!

decision-making

  • References
  • American Academy of Sleep Medicine. (2010, April 4). Maintaining regular daily routines is associated with better sleep quality in older adults. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 18, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/04/100401085336.htm
  • American Academy of Sleep Medicine. (2008, June 12). Moderate Exercise Can Improve Sleep Quality Of Insomnia Patients. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 18, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/06/080611071129.htm
  • American Chemical Society (ACS). (2012, August 19). Good mood foods: Some flavors in some foods resemble a prescription mood stabilizer. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 10, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/08/120819153457.htm
  • American Psychological Association. (2018, April 23). Let it go: Mental breaks after work improve sleep: Repetitive thoughts on rude behavior at work results in insomnia. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 18, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/04/180423110828.htm
  • Baycrest Centre for Geriatric Care. (2012, May 14). A walk in the park gives mental boost to people with depression. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 18, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/05/120514134303.htm
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3 Reasons We Keep Toxic People in Our Lives

Why do we keep toxic people in our lives? Despite the emotional costs, many people chose to remain in toxic relationships. This post explores the emotional reasoning behind not letting go.

Recently, an acquaintance told me about breaking up with his girlfriend, a toxic person for him. His story made me cringe and left me wondering, how on earth did it get to that point? Why do we allow toxic people to remain in our lives?

For my friend, it began when his at-the-time girlfriend covertly moved in with him; initial casual sleepovers morphed into a permanent presence. As weeks turned into months, it became apparent she had some serious mental health issues. The relationship deteriorated, and my friend was ready to reclaim his space.

So, he ended things between them and told her to get out. And… she refused. This is also when he found out she was homeless.

He kicked her out of the bedroom; she started sleeping on the couch. My friend resorted to tactics like removing her phone and parking pass. Despite his efforts, she continued to live (rent-free) on his couch.

To make a long story short… she eventually left… but not until the apartment manager and police got involved.

My friend’s story, while unique, is a stark reminder of how difficult it can be to escape the clutches of a toxic person, even when the signs are glaringly clear. The reality is, it’s never as simple as “it’s over, get out.” Breaking free from a toxic relationship is rarely a clean break.

3 Reasons We Keep Toxic People in Our Lives

What are the reasons we allow toxic people (friends, family, and/or romantic partners) to remain in our lives? Why is it so hard to let go?

1. Either You Need Them (or You Can’t Ignore Them)

A recent study suggests we keep toxic people around simply because their lives are intertwined with ours. For example, your aging mother-in-law, who degrades and insults you, lives at your home, despite the negative impact this has on your life. Your options are limited because your husband is unwilling to put her in a nursing home (and you may also depend on her for things, like childcare or help with the bills).

Another example would be toxic people at work (coworkers, bosses, subordinates, etc.); you don’t have a lot of choice when it comes to your boss or colleagues, and you can’t entirely avoid them or refuse to talk about work-related stuff (unless you’re okay with losing your job). If pursing a new position isn’t practical, your next best option is to find a way to effectively deal with workplace toxicity.

That said, you don’t have the power to change anyone else. To manage your reactions to and interactions with toxic people, acknowledge the need for self-adjustment, including attitude and role. Examine your personal views. Lower/manage expectations for others; accept that people will do and say things you don’t agree with… and it’s not something you can control.

Once you’ve reached the point of radical acceptance, follow guidelines for effective communication (i.e., active listening, avoiding blame, being aware of tone and body language, reflecting for clarity, etc.) in conversations with toxic people, whether it’s your mother-in-law or your boss. By being proactive, you’re doing your part to avoid getting caught up in others’ toxicity.

In the face of unavoidable toxicity, I find switching to a “counselor role” is helpful; I set aside my personal viewpoint, opening myself to alternative views, while seeking to understand (not judge) behavior. (And you don’t have to be a counselor to do this!)

I try to view individuals in terms of “what happened to you?” instead of assuming they’re malicious or intentional (i.e., “what’s wrong with you? People act the way they do for a reason). I don’t know what’s happening in a “toxic” person’s life or what they’ve been through.

Maybe that snarky co-worker is in an abusive relationship and lives in fear. Or maybe her son is in the hospital with brain cancer. Or it’s possible she grew up in a home where her parents yelled and disrespected each other, shaping her view of relationships. The snarky attitude makes sense when viewed through different lenses.

While it’s never okay to be an asshole, I can understand why people are jerks. Somehow, this knowledge serves as an immunity when encountering a toxic person. Their behavior is the result of something bad that happened to them; it has nothing to do with me and I can choose whether or not to engage. They don’t have power to negatively impact me unless I give it up.

2. Toxic Love: It Feels Better to Stay

When Joe Strummer of the Clash sang the question, “Should I stay or should I go now?”; he already knew the answer. We stay in unhealthy relationships or continue to hang out with toxic friends because it feels good (at times, at least).

The boyfriend who yells at you can also be incredibly sweet and caring. Or your gossipy friend who talks about you behind your back also happens to be the most fun person you know. Despite the sense that it’s unhealthy, you (like Strummer) can’t resist. So, you ignore the red flags because you crave the rush or the intensity… or maybe what you desire most is the feeling of being wanted. (Despite the toxicity, it’s worth it, just to feel wanted… or is it?)

Beyond feeling good, it’s entirely possible to deeply love a toxic person (no matter how wrong they are for you). You don’t want to give up on the person they could be; maybe you’re in love with their potential (or an idea of what the relationship could be). You believe it’s better to sacrifice your happiness (your dignity, your well-being, your independence) than to be without the person you love.

On the flip side, some people stay in toxic relationships because deep down, they believe they can’t do any better and/or the abuse is a preferable alternative to being alone. It could also mean they believe they deserve to be punished (which sometimes happens when a person remains in an abusive relationship for a long time). Or they may reason that it’s better to hang out with a “mean girl” than sit and stare at the walls on a Friday night.

If you can relate to staying in a toxic relationship because it feels good or are afraid of being alone, carefully consider and weigh out the long-term costs of a toxic relationship. There are far worse and more damaging things than being alone.

If the idea of being alone terrifies you, maybe it’s an indication that something’s not right… that you’re not okay. It could be a sign of low self-worth or could point to an intense fear of abandonment. It may also signify a lack of understanding of what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Lastly, an intense fear of being alone is associated with some of the personality disorders and/or could be the result of trauma.

3. It’s (So Much) Easier to Stay

Breaking up is messy and uncomfortable. In my experience, most people avoid conflict whenever possible. Despite the fact that conflict is a natural, everyday occurrence, it can feel unpleasant, even for those with expert conflict resolution skills.

In relationships, avoiding conflict does more harm than good. In a healthy relationship, it’s necessary to address problems in order to resolve them, thereby strengthening the relationship.

In a toxic relationship, conflict should not be avoided, but for different reasons. It may be easier to ignore the reality of your situation than to get honest, but this is detrimental (not only to you, but to your partner, who will never have the opportunity to change so long as you enable the toxicity to continue).

You may wish to avoid the emotional drain that accompanies confrontation, but in the long run, you’ll lose more emotional energy if you remain in a toxic relationship. (A steep, one-time payment is preferable to the ongoing, daily emotional sacrifices/abuses associated with toxicity; you’re slowly poisoned as time goes on.)

If you choose to end a toxic relationship, be realistic; it’s not going to be easy… and it’s going to hurt. A lot. You may love this person a great deal (and maybe you’ve long held on to the hope they’d change). Go into it with low (or no) expectations.

When things feel unbearable, remember that the easy things in life matter little; the difficult stuff is what leads to personal growth, success, and resilience.

Conclusion

In closing, I’m sure there are multitudes of reasons people have for staying in unhealthy relationships and keeping toxic people in their lives; this post is by no means comprehensive. I’m also certain, whatever the reason, it seems justifiable to them.

People don’t choose toxicity without some sort of justification (if not for others, then at least for themselves). Unfortunately, rationalizations don’t offer protection from harm. No matter the reason for remaining in a toxic relationship, it’s not worth the cost.


What are some other reasons people keep toxic people in their lives? Why is letting go so hard? Share your thoughts in a comment!

toxic people

  • References
  • Bar-Ilan University. (2018, January 17). Why we keep difficult people in our lives. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 14, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/01/180117152513.htm
  • Offer, S., & Fischer, C.S. (2017). Difficult people: Who is perceived to be demanding in personal networks and why are they there? American Sociological Review, 000312241773795, DOI: 10.1177/0003122417737951