Marriage & Relationship Assessment Tools

Free screening tools for assessing relationship satisfaction/expectations, attachment styles, communication, domestic violence/sex addiction, and more.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

A list of free online interactive and PDF assessment tools for providers working with couples. (See Free Online Screening & Assessment Tools for additional screening tools.)

Relationship Satisfaction & Expectations

The Companionate Love Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale to measure companionate love; scoring instructions not included

The Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI) | A 4-page PDF assessment to measure relationship satisfaction; scoring instructions included

Feeling Connected in Your Relationship? | An 18-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Gottman Relationship Checkup | Sign up for a free account to access the online interactive assessment

How Deep Is Your Love? Quiz | A 15-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

How Strong Is Your Relationship? Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Marital Disillusionment Scale | Link to a PDF version of this assessment tool

Marital Satisfaction Survey | A PDF scale to evaluate marital satisfaction; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

The Passionate Love Scale | A PDF tool with scoring instructions

Perceived Relationship Quality Components Inventory (PRQC) | Link to a Word version of this scale to assess six components of relationship quality

Quick Compassionate Love Test | A 6-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess compassion in a relationship

Relationship Assessment Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relationship Expectations Questionnaire | A PDF tool; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

Sternberg Triangular Love Test | A 45-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess intimacy, passion, and commitment

The Sustainable Marriage Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

Attachment Styles

The Attachment Style Assessment | Interactive tool for assessing how you attach to romantic partners; you must submit your email to see your results

Attachment Styles and Close Relationships | Interactive surveys to determine attachment style

Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test | Interactive assessment; you must submit your email to see your score

Measure of Attachment Qualities | Measures adult attachment styles (PDF)

Romantic Attachment Quiz | A 41-item quiz from PsychCentral to help you determine your romantic attachment style in relationships

Vulnerable Attachment Style Questionnaire (VASQ) | Links to PDF version of questionnaire and scoring instructions

Communication

The 5 Love Languages | A PDF assessment for assessing primary love “languages”

Interpersonal Communication Skills Inventory | A PDF self-assessment designed to provide insight into communication strengths and areas for development. Includes scoring instructions.

Interpersonal Communication Skills Test – Abridged | Interactive test from PsychCentral

Learn Your Love Language | An online quiz for couples to determine primary love language(s). (You are required to enter your information to get quiz results.)

Nonverbal Immediacy Scale | Online interactive tool for assessing differences in the use of body language when communicating; printable version here

Open DISC Assessment Test | Online interactive tool for assessing your communication style

Self-Perceived Communication Competence Scale | Printable scale with scoring instructions

Willingness To Communicate | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Willingness To Listen | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Domestic Violence & Sex Addiction

Danger Assessment Screening Tool | Clinicians can download a PDF version of this assessment, which helps predict the level of danger in an abusive relationship; this screening tool was developed to predict violence and homicide.

Domestic Violence Assessment Tools | Five assessments from the Domestic Shelters site

Domestic Violence Screening Quiz | Interactive test from PsychCentral to determine if you’re involved in a dangerous abusive relationship

Sexual Addiction Quiz | A brief screening measure from PsychCentral to help you determine if you are struggling with sexual addiction

Additional Relationship Assessment Tools

20 Question Self-Assessment for Healthy Boundaries | Download a PDF assessment created by Dr. Jane Bolton; scoring instructions not included

Brief Index of Sexual Functioning for Women (BISF-W) | Subscription required to access assessment tool

Desire to Have Children Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale

Emotional Intelligence Quiz | An online interactive test to measure how well you read other people

Empathy Quiz | An online interactive test to measure empathy

Evaluations of Attractiveness Scale: Female Attractiveness | Male Attractiveness | Online interactive tests for assessing preferences

Ideal Partner and Ideal Relationship Scales | Link to Word scales to assess ideal partner attributes and ideal relationship qualities

Interactive Behavioral Couple Therapy Questionnaires | 5 downloadable PDF assessments for couples

Jealousy Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument; scoring instructions not included

Love Attitudes Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale that measures different love styles; scoring instructions included

Marital Forgiveness Scale-Event | Marital Forgiveness Scale (Dispositional) | Links to PDF versions of scales with scoring instructions

Marital Offense-Specific Forgiveness Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale; scoring instructions not included

Perceptions of Love and Sex Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relational Assessment Questionnaire | Link to a PDF version of this questionnaire (with scoring instructions) to measure relational aspects of self

Relationship Trust Quiz | An online interactive tool

Respect Toward Partner Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale (with scoring key)

Romantic Partner Conflict Scale (RPCS) | Link to a PDF version of this scale with scoring instructions; Word version also available

The Sexual Disgust Inventory | PDF scale with scoring instructions

The Spann-Fischer Codependency Scale | A 16-item scale (PDF) to measure codependency

Susceptibility to Infidelity Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument and information on scoring

Trust Scale | PDF tool for assessing trust within close interpersonal relationships

Free Printable PDF Workbooks, Manuals, & Toolkits for Providers Who Work with Children, Adolescents, & Families

(Updated 2/10/20) A resource list for providers who work with youth and families. Free PDF manuals for clinicians and handouts/guides for families.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

The original source for this list is my post, Free Printable PDF Workbooks, Manuals, & Self-Help Guides. However, the “Children, Youth, & Families” section was becoming too lengthy. The purpose of this post is to organize the youth and family resources so you can quickly find what you’re looking for. This post is divided into two sections: one for providers and one for families.

For Providers

Treatment Manuals/CURRICULUMs & Workbooks

Mood & Anxiety Disorders

Adolescent Coping with Depression Course: Leader’s Manual for Adolescent Groups (321 pages) | Student Workbook (199 pages) | Leader’s Manual for Parent Groups (139 pages) | Parent Workbook (73 pages) (Source: Kaiser Permanete for Health Research) (Find more information here)

The Adolescent Coping with Stress Course: An Eight-Session Curriculum Developed for the Prevention of Unipolar Depression in Adolescents with an Increased Future Risk: Leader Manual (118 pages) | Adolescent Workbook (79 pages) (Source: Kaiser Permanete for Health Research) (Find more information here)

The Adolescent Coping with Stress Course: A Fifteen-Session Class Curriculum Developed for the Prevention of Unipolar Depression in Adolescents with an Increased Future Risk: Leader Manual (112 pages) | Adolescent Workbook (82 pages) (Source: Kaiser Permanete for Health Research) (Find more information here)

Break Free from Depression: A 4-Session Curriculum Addressing Adolescent Depression (Source: Suicide Prevention Resource Center)

Managing Depression: A Facilitator’s Guide for Working with Groups of Women Living with Depression During Pregnancy, After Delivery and Beyond (Source: Best Start, 42 pages)

STEADY: Intervention Manual (107 pages) | Adolescent Workbook (87 pages) (Source: Kaiser Permanete for Health Research) (Find more information here)

Substance Use Disorders

Matrix Series (Intensive Outpatient Treatment for People with Stimulant Use Disorders): Counselor’s Family Education Manual (Source: SAMHSA, 176 pages)

A Modified DBT Group Therapy Manual

Partners In Parenting: A DATAR/FIRST CHOICE Treatment Manual (Source: Texas Institute of Behavioral Research at TCU, 294 pages) 2002

Trauma & Related Disorders

Dealing With Trauma: A TF-CBT Workbook for Teens (Source: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, Medical University of South Carolina, 35 pages) (Link to facilitator training here)

The T.O.P. Workbook for Sexual Health: Facilitator’s Manual (Source: Resources for Resolving Violence, Inc., 87 pages) 2010 (Purchase additional workbooks/manuals here)

Triad Girls’ Group Treatment Manual (Source: The Louis de la Parte Florida Mental Health Institute, University of South Florida, 201 pages) (More information on the Triad Project here)

Anger

Getting Along and Keeping It Cool: How Anger Works (Therapist Group Manual) (Source: Centre for Clinical Interventions with YouthLink, 79 pages)

Self-Esteem

On My Own Two Feet Series: Identity and Self-Esteem (76 pages) | Understanding Influences (103 pages) | Assertive Communication (121 pages) | Feelings (83 pages) | Decision Making (113 pages) | Consequences (81 pages) | Work Cards (129 pages) (Source: Department of Education and Skills and Professional Development Services for Teachers) (Find more information here)

LGBTQ Youth

Growing Up Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, or Transgender (Source: Department of Education and Skills and the Health Service Executive through the Social, Personal and Health Education Support Service, in conjunction with GLEN [Gay and Lesbian Equality Network] and BeLonG To Youth Services; and Professional Development Services for Teachers, 82 pages) (Find more information here)

It Gets Better: A Group Experience for LGBTQ Youth (Group Curriculum Outline) (Source: Catherine Griffith, Ph.D., 13 pages)

Latinix Youth

Latino Multifamily Group Program Manual, (Source: Valley Nonprofit Resources, 64 pages)

Health & Wellness

Be Real. Be Ready. (A comprehensive relationship and sexuality curriculum for high school students) (Source: Adolescent Health Working Group)

Healthy Living, Healthy Minds: A Toolkit for Health Professionals (Promoting Healthy Living in Children and Youth with Mental Health Challenges) (149 pages) | Healthy Living… It’s in Everyone (A Companion Workbook, 82 pages) (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services)

TRUST (Talking. Relationships. Understanding Sexuality. Teaching Resource.) Workbook (Source: National Council for Curriculum and Assessment; Department of Education and Science, the Health Service Executive, and Crisis Pregnancy Agency; and Department of Education and Skills and Professional Development Services for Teachers, 126 pages) (Find more information here)

Group Counseling Resources

A Collection of Icebreakers and Connection Activities (33 pages)

Favorite Therapeutic Activities for Children, Adolescents, and Families: Practitioners Share Their Most Effective Interventions (Source: Edited by Liana Lowenstein, MSW, 119 pages)

Group Counseling Guide (Group activities for children) (Source: Rita Zniber Foundation, 45 pages)

Toolkits & Guides

Alcohol Problems in Intimate Relationships: Identification and Intervention (A Guide for Marriage and Family Therapists) (Source: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 83 pages)

Behavioral Health: Adolescent Provider Toolkit (Source: Adolescent Health Working Group)

Body Basics: Adolescent Provider Toolkit (Source: Adolescent Health Working Group)

Child Trauma Toolkit for Educators (Source: The National Child Traumatic Stress Network, 21 pages)

Community Reinforcement and Family Training Support and Prevention (Source: U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, 103 pages)

A Practitioner’s Resource Guide: Helping Families to Support Their LBGT Children (Source: SAMHSA, 18 pages)

Promoting Emotional Resilience: Helping children to find ways to function in a world where bad things happen – A Resource Pack (Source: West Sussex CAMHS and School Attendance Project, 141 pages) 2008

Sexual Health: Adolescent Provider Toolkit (Source: Adolescent Health Working Group

Stress Lessons Toolkit (Source: Psychology Foundation of Canada in partnership with Pfizer Canada, 52 pages) 2012

Trauma & Resilience: Adolescent Provider Toolkit (Source: Adolescent Health Working Group)

The Use of a Full Family Assessment to Identify the Needs of Families with Multiple Problems (Source: UK Department for Education, 105 pages)

For Families

Workbooks For Children & Adolescents

Anxiety Toolbox: Student Workbook (42 pages)

COPE (CAPS COPING SKILLS SEMINAR): Student Workbook (Source: West Carolina University Counseling and Psychological Services, 28 pages)

Dealing With Depression: Antidepressant Skills for Teens (Source: Vancouver Psych Safety Consulting Incorporated, 68 pages)

Just as I Am Workbook: A Guided Journal to Free Yourself from Self-Criticism and Feelings of Low Self-Worth (Source: Queen’s University, 56 pages)

Lemons or Lemonade? An Anger Workbook for Teens (Source: Jane F. Gilgun, PhD, LICSW, Education4Health, 38 pages)

Mighty Moe: An Anxiety Workbook for Children (Source: Lacey Woloshyn, 79 pages)

Safe Spot Stress Management Series

Safe Spot: Stress Management Workbook 1 – What Is Stress? (45 pages)

Safe Spot: Stress Management Workbook 2 – Behaviour and Stress (27 pages)

Safe Spot: Stress Management Workbook 3 – Thought Patterns and Stress (29 pages)

Safe Spot: Stress Management Workbook 4 – Problem-Solving and Well-Being (27 pages)

Your Best You: Improving Your Mood (Source: Queen’s University, 103 pages)

Your Best You: Managing Your Anxiety (Source: Queen’s University, 169 pages)

Youth Transition Workbook (Source: Pennsylvania Youth Leadership Network/The Rhode Island Transition Council/The Rhode Island Department of Health Youth Advisory Council, 68 pages) 2017

Toolkits & Guides

For Parents & Caregivers

ADHD: Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (Information for Families) (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 12 pages)

After an Attempt A Guide for Taking Care of Your Family Member after Treatment in the Emergency Department (12 pages) | Spanish Version (14 pages) (Source: SAMHSA)

After a Loved One Dies – How Children Grieve and How Parents and Other Adults Can Support Them (Source: New York Life, 24 pages)

Bipolar Disorder in Children and Teens: A Parent’s Guide (Information Booklet) (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, Hosford Clinic, 27 pages)

Bipolar Disorder: Parents’ Medication Guide for Bipolar Disorder in Children & Adolescents (Source: American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 63 pages)

Borderline Personality Disorder: An Information Guide for Families (Source: CAMH, 72 pages)

Coping with Anxiety During Pregnancy and Following the Birth: A Cognitive Therapy-Based Self-Management Guide for Women and Health Care Providers (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 178 pages)

Coping with Depression During Pregnancy and Following the Birth: A Cognitive Therapy-Based Self-Management Guide for Women (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 118 pages)

Coping with Separation Anxiety Handbook (Source: BC Legal Services Society, 24 pages)

Emotional Intelligence Activities for Teens Ages 13-18 (Source: The Ohio National Guard, 34 pages)

Families in Transition: A Resource Guide for Families of Transgender Youth (Source: Central Toronto Youth Services, 56 pages)

A Family Guide to Concurrent Disorders (Source: CAMH, 222 pages)

Gaining Control of Your Life After Having a Baby: A Self-Help Workbook for Post-natal Depression (Source: Maternal Mental Health Alliance, 38 pages)

Managing Depression: A Self-Help Skills Resource for Women Living with Depression During Pregnancy, After Delivery and Beyond (Source: Best Start, 57 pages)

The Mind Body Connection and Somatization: A Family Handbook (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 46 pages)

Oppositional Defiant Disorder: A Guide for Families by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (18 pages)

Patient & Family Guide to Second-Generation Antipsychotics (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 44 pages)

Postnatal Depression and Perinatal Mental Health (Source: Mind UK, 31 pages)

Recognizing Resilience: A Workbook for Parents and Caregivers of Teens Involved with Substances (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 104 pages)

A Resource Guide for Families Dealing with Mental Illness (Source: Michigan National Alliance on Mental Health, 40 pages)

Suicide Prevention for Consumers and Family Members (Source: Montgomery County Emergency Service, Inc., 26 pages)

Tools & Resources (Toolkit for Families) (Source: Kelty Mental Health, 25 pages)

What Community Members Can Do: Helping Children and Adolescents Cope with Violence and Disasters (For Teachers, Clergy, and Other Adults in the Community) (Information Booklet) (Source: National Institute of Mental Health, Hosford Clinic, 20 pages)

For Youth & Adolescents

Healthy Living for Teens (Source: BC Mental Health and Substance Use Services, 23 pages)

A Sibling’s Guide to Psychosis: Information, Ideas, and Resources (Source: Canada Mental Health Association, 34 pages)

Student Life (Source: Mind UK, 22 pages)

Unconventional Coping Strategies

A list of uncommon strategies for coping with stress, depression, and anxiety. Includes a free PDF version of the list to print and use as a handout.

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

With Lauren Mills, MA, LPC-Intern (Contributor)

Effective coping skills make it possible to survive life’s stressors, obstacles, and hardships. Without coping strategies, life would be unmanageable. Dr. Constance Scharff described coping mechanisms as “skills we… have that allow us to make sense of our negative experiences and integrate them into a healthy, sustainable perspective of the world.” Healthy coping strategies promote resilience when experiencing minor stressors, such as getting a poor performance review at work, or major ones, such as the loss of a loved one.

Like any skill, coping is important to practice on a regular basis in order to be effective. Do this by maintaining daily self-care (at a minimum: adequate rest, healthy meals, exercise, staying hydrated, and avoiding drugs/alcohol.)

As an expert on you (and how you adapt to stressful situations), you may already know what helps the most when life seems out-of-control. (I like reading paranormal romance/fantasy-type books!) Maybe you meditate or run or rap along to loud rap music or have snuggle time with the cats or binge watch your favorite show on Netflix. Having insight into/awareness of your coping strategies primes you for unforeseeable tragedies in life.

“Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”

Virginia Satir, Therapist (June 26, 2019-September 10, 1988)

Healthy coping varies greatly from person to person; what matters is that your personal strategies work for you. For example, one person may find prayer helpful, but for someone who isn’t religious, prayer might be ineffective. Instead, they may swim laps at the gym when going through a difficult time. Another person may cope by crying and talking it out with a close friend.

Note: there are various mental health treatment approaches (i.e. DBT, trauma-focused CBT, etc.) that incorporate specialized, evidence-based coping techniques that are proven to work (by reducing symptoms and improving wellbeing) for certain disorders. The focus of this post is basic coping, not treatment interventions.

On the topic of coping skills, the research literature is vast (and beyond the scope of this post). While many factors influence coping (i.e. personality/temperament, stressors experienced, mental and physical health, etc.), evidence backs the following methods: problem-solving techniques, mindfulness/meditation, exercise, relaxation techniques, reframing, acceptance, humor, seeking support, and religion/spirituality. (Note that venting is not on the list!) Emotional intelligence may also play a role in the efficiency of coping skills.

Current research

In 2011, researchers found that positive reframes, acceptance, and humor were the most effective copings skills for students dealing with small setbacks. The effect of humor as a positive coping skill has been found in prior studies, several of which focused on coping skills in the workplace.

A sport psychology study indicated that professional golfers who used positive self-talk, blocked negative thoughts, maintained focus, and remained in a relaxed state effectively coped with stress, keeping a positive mindset. Effective copers also sought advice as needed throughout the game. A 2015 study suggested that helping others, even strangers, helps mitigate the impact of stress.


Examples of coping skills include prayer, meditation, deep breathing, exercise, talking to a trusted person, journaling, cleaning, and creating art. However, the purpose of this post is to provide coping alternatives. Maybe meditation isn’t your thing or journaling leaves you feeling like crap. Coping is not one-size-fits-all. The best approach to coping is to find and try lots of different things!

The inspiration for this post came from Facebook. (Facebook is awesome for networking! I’m a member of several professional groups.) Lauren Mills sought ideas for unconventional strategies via Facebook… With permission, I’m sharing some of them here!    

Unconventional Coping Strategies

1) Crack pistachio nuts

2) Fold warm towels

3) Smell your dog (Fun fact: dog paws smell like corn chips!) or watch them sleep

4) Peel dried glue off your hands

5) Break glass at the recycling center

6) Pop bubble wrap

7) Lie upside down

8) Watch slime or pimple popping videos on YouTube

9) Sort and build Lego’s

10) Write in cursive

11) Observe fish in an aquarium

12) Twirl/spin around

13) Solve math problems (by hand)

14) Use a voice-changing app (Snapchat works too) to repeat back your worry/critical thoughts in the voice of a silly character OR sing your worries/thoughts aloud to the tune of “Happy Birthday”

15) Listen to the radio in foreign languages

16) Chop vegetables

17) Go for a joy ride (Windows down!)

18) Watch YouTube videos of cute animals and/or giggling babies

19) Blow bubbles

20) Walk barefoot outside

21) Draw/paint on your skin

22) Play with (dry) rice

23) Do (secret) “random acts of kindness”

24) Play with warm (not hot) candle wax

25) Watch AMSR videos on YouTube

26) Shuffle cards

27) Recite family recipes

28) Find the nicest smelling flowers at a grocery store

29) Count things

30) Use an app to try different hairstyles and/or makeup

31) People-watch with a good friend and make up stories about everyone you see (Take it to the next level with voiceovers!)

32) Wash your face mindfully

33) Buy a karaoke machine and sing your heart out when you’re home alone

34) On Instagram, watch videos of a hydraulic press smash things, cake decorating, pottery/ceramics throwing, hand lettering, and/or woodwork

35) Shine tarnished silver

36) Create a glitter jar and enjoy

37) Tend to plants

38) Color in a vulgar coloring book for adults


Download a PDF version (free) of “Unconventional Coping Strategies” below. This handout can be printed, copied, and shared without the author’s permission, providing it’s not used for monetary gain. Please modify as needed.


Lauren Mills, MA, LPC-Intern (Supervised by Mary Ann Satori, LPC-S) is a therapist in Texas and a current resident in counseling.     

I’d like to acknowledge all members of Therapist Toolbox – Resources & Support for Therapists who submitted ideas!

If you have an uncommon coping skill, post in a comment!


References

Association for Psychological Science. (2015, December 14). Helping others dampens effects of everyday stress. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 13, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/12/151214084744.htm

Canisius College. (2008, January 26). Laughter is the best medicine. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 13, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/01/080124200913.htm

Loyola University Health System. (2018, September 21). Boosting emotional intelligence in physicians can protect against burnout. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 12, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/09/180921140200.htm

Scharff, C. (2016). Understanding and choosing better coping skills: You can change your mood without drugs. Psychology today. Retrived from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ending-addiction-good/201609/understanding-and-choosing-better-coping-skills

University of Alberta. (2005, June 18). A good game of golf: Mind over matter. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 13, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2005/06/050617235448.htm

University of Kent. (2011, July 14). Positive reframing, acceptance and humor are the most effective coping strategies. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 12, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/07/110704082700.htm

Wiley-Blackwell. (2008, April 9). Humor plays an important role in healthcare even when patients are terminally ill. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 13, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/04/080408112104.htm