Marriage & Relationship Assessment Tools

Free screening tools for assessing relationship satisfaction/expectations, attachment styles, communication, domestic violence/sex addiction, and more.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

A list of free online interactive and PDF assessment tools for providers working with couples. (See Free Online Screening & Assessment Tools for additional screening tools.)

Relationship Satisfaction & Expectations

The Companionate Love Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale to measure companionate love; scoring instructions not included

The Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI) | A 4-page PDF assessment to measure relationship satisfaction; scoring instructions included

Feeling Connected in Your Relationship? | An 18-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Gottman Relationship Checkup | Sign up for a free account to access the online interactive assessment

How Deep Is Your Love? Quiz | A 15-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

How Strong Is Your Relationship? Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Marital Disillusionment Scale | Link to a PDF version of this assessment tool

Marital Satisfaction Survey | A PDF scale to evaluate marital satisfaction; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

The Passionate Love Scale | A PDF tool with scoring instructions

Perceived Relationship Quality Components Inventory (PRQC) | Link to a Word version of this scale to assess six components of relationship quality

Quick Compassionate Love Test | A 6-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess compassion in a relationship

Relationship Assessment Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relationship Expectations Questionnaire | A PDF tool; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

Sternberg Triangular Love Test | A 45-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess intimacy, passion, and commitment

The Sustainable Marriage Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

Attachment Styles

The Attachment Style Assessment | Interactive tool for assessing how you attach to romantic partners; you must submit your email to see your results

Attachment Styles and Close Relationships | Interactive surveys to determine attachment style

Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test | Interactive assessment; you must submit your email to see your score

Measure of Attachment Qualities | Measures adult attachment styles (PDF)

Romantic Attachment Quiz | A 41-item quiz from PsychCentral to help you determine your romantic attachment style in relationships

Vulnerable Attachment Style Questionnaire (VASQ) | Links to PDF version of questionnaire and scoring instructions

Communication

The 5 Love Languages | A PDF assessment for assessing primary love “languages”

Interpersonal Communication Skills Inventory | A PDF self-assessment designed to provide insight into communication strengths and areas for development. Includes scoring instructions.

Interpersonal Communication Skills Test – Abridged | Interactive test from PsychCentral

Learn Your Love Language | An online quiz for couples to determine primary love language(s). (You are required to enter your information to get quiz results.)

Nonverbal Immediacy Scale | Online interactive tool for assessing differences in the use of body language when communicating; printable version here

Open DISC Assessment Test | Online interactive tool for assessing your communication style

Self-Perceived Communication Competence Scale | Printable scale with scoring instructions

Willingness To Communicate | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Willingness To Listen | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Domestic Violence & Sex Addiction

Danger Assessment Screening Tool | Clinicians can download a PDF version of this assessment, which helps predict the level of danger in an abusive relationship; this screening tool was developed to predict violence and homicide.

Domestic Violence Assessment Tools | Five assessments from the Domestic Shelters site

Domestic Violence Screening Quiz | Interactive test from PsychCentral to determine if you’re involved in a dangerous abusive relationship

Sexual Addiction Quiz | A brief screening measure from PsychCentral to help you determine if you are struggling with sexual addiction

Additional Relationship Assessment Tools

20 Question Self-Assessment for Healthy Boundaries | Download a PDF assessment created by Dr. Jane Bolton; scoring instructions not included

Brief Index of Sexual Functioning for Women (BISF-W) | Subscription required to access assessment tool

Desire to Have Children Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale

Emotional Intelligence Quiz | An online interactive test to measure how well you read other people

Empathy Quiz | An online interactive test to measure empathy

Evaluations of Attractiveness Scale: Female Attractiveness | Male Attractiveness | Online interactive tests for assessing preferences

Ideal Partner and Ideal Relationship Scales | Link to Word scales to assess ideal partner attributes and ideal relationship qualities

Interactive Behavioral Couple Therapy Questionnaires | 5 downloadable PDF assessments for couples

Jealousy Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument; scoring instructions not included

Love Attitudes Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale that measures different love styles; scoring instructions included

Marital Forgiveness Scale-Event | Marital Forgiveness Scale (Dispositional) | Links to PDF versions of scales with scoring instructions

Marital Offense-Specific Forgiveness Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale; scoring instructions not included

Perceptions of Love and Sex Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relational Assessment Questionnaire | Link to a PDF version of this questionnaire (with scoring instructions) to measure relational aspects of self

Relationship Trust Quiz | An online interactive tool

Respect Toward Partner Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale (with scoring key)

Romantic Partner Conflict Scale (RPCS) | Link to a PDF version of this scale with scoring instructions; Word version also available

The Sexual Disgust Inventory | PDF scale with scoring instructions

The Spann-Fischer Codependency Scale | A 16-item scale (PDF) to measure codependency

Susceptibility to Infidelity Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument and information on scoring

Trust Scale | PDF tool for assessing trust within close interpersonal relationships

Daily Self-Inventory for Mental Health Professionals

Regular self-evaluation is essential for mental health professionals. Use this daily assessment tool (downloadable PDF) to evaluate your ethical and self-care practices.

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

The 10th Step of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) suggests taking daily inventory: “A continuous look at our assets and liabilities, and a real desire to learn and grow.” The founders of AA recommend that a person in recovery both “spot check” throughout the day in addition to taking a full inventory every evening, preferably a written one. An honest self-evaluation can assess for resentment, anger, fear, jealousy, etc. According to the principles of AA, self-inventory promotes self-restraint and a sense of justice; it allows one to carefully examine their motives. Furthermore, it allows one to recognize unhealthy or ineffective speech/actions in order to visualize how they could have done better.

Similarly, for best practice, self-evaluation is essential for anyone who works in the mental health (MH) field. It doesn’t have to take place daily, or even weekly, but it’s a necessary measure for any active MH worker. If we don’t regularly examine our motives, professional interactions, and level of burnout, we could potentially cause harm to those we serve.

“As important as it is to have a plan for doing work, it is perhaps more important to have a plan for rest, relaxation, self-care, and sleep.”

Akiroq Brost

Much of the self-inventory I created is based on the 2014 ACA (American Counseling Association) Code of Ethics and related issues. According to the code, the fundamental principles of ethical behavior include the following:

Autonomy (self-sufficiency), or fostering the right to control the direction of one’s life;

Nonmaleficence, or avoiding actions that cause harm;

Beneficence, or working for the good of the individual and society by promoting mental health and well-being;

Justice (remaining just and impartial), or treating individuals equitably and fostering fairness and equality;

Fidelity (integrity), or honoring commitments and keeping promises, including fulfilling one’s responsibilities of trust in professional relationships; and

Veracity (genuineness), or dealing truthfully with individuals with whom counselors come into professional contact


The following is a format for MH professionals to evaluate both ethical and self-care practices. It’s meant to be used as a daily assessment tool.

Daily Self-Inventory for Mental Health Professionals

1. Did I cause harm (physical or emotional) today, intentionally or unintentionally, to self or others?

Yes                         No

2. If so, how, and what can I do to make amends and prevent reoccurrence?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. Have I treated everyone I’ve come across with dignity and respect?

Yes                         No

4. If no, how did I mistreat others? What were my underlying thoughts/feelings/beliefs? How can I act differently in the future?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

5. Have I imposed my personal values on a client (or clients) today?

Yes                         No

6. If so, which values, and what steps can I take to prevent this? (Note: professional counselors are to respect diversity and seek training when at risk of imposing personal values, especially when they’re inconsistent with the client’s goals.)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

7. Currently, what are my personal biases and how can I overcome (or manage) them?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

8. Have I done anything today that has not been in effort to foster client welfare (i.e. self-disclosure for self-fulfilling reasons)?

Yes                         No

9. If so, what were my motives and how can I improve on this?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

10. On a scale from 1-10 (1 being the least and 10 the greatest), how genuine have I been with both colleagues and clients? ________

11. On a scale from 1-10, how transparent have I been with both colleagues and clients? ________

12. What specific, evidence-based counseling skills, tools, and techniques did I use today? Am I certain there is empirical evidence to support my practice? (If no, how will I remedy this?)

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

13. Have I practiced outside the boundaries of my professional competence (based on education, training, supervision, and experience) today?

Yes                         No

14. What have I done today to advance my knowledge of the counseling profession, including current issues, evidence-based practices, relevant research, etc.?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

15. What have I done today to promote social justice?

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

16. Have I maintained professional boundaries with both colleagues and clients today?

Yes                         No

17. Did I protect client confidentially to my best ability today?

Yes                         No

18. To my best knowledge, am I adhering to my professional (and agency’s, if applicable) code of ethics?

Yes                         No

19. On a scale from 1-10, what is my level of “burnout”? ________

20. What have I done for self-care today?

  • Self-Care Activities I’ve Engaged In:
    • Exercise
    • Healthy snacks/meals
    • Meditation
    • Adequate rest
    • Adequate water intake
    • Regular breaks throughout the workday
    • Positive self-talk
    • Consultation
    • Therapy
    • Other: ________________
    • Other: ________________
    • Other: ________________

Areas for Improvement:

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Areas in Which I Excel:

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Download a PDF version (free) of the self-evaluation below. This assessment can be printed, copied, and shared without the author’s permission, providing it’s not used for monetary gain. Please modify as needed.