Marriage & Relationship Assessment Tools

Free screening tools for assessing relationship satisfaction/expectations, attachment styles, communication, domestic violence/sex addiction, and more.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

A list of free online interactive and PDF assessment tools for providers working with couples. (See Free Online Screening & Assessment Tools for additional screening tools.)

Relationship Satisfaction & Expectations

The Companionate Love Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale to measure companionate love; scoring instructions not included

The Couples Satisfaction Index (CSI) | A 4-page PDF assessment to measure relationship satisfaction; scoring instructions included

Feeling Connected in Your Relationship? | An 18-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Gottman Relationship Checkup | Sign up for a free account to access the online interactive assessment

How Deep Is Your Love? Quiz | A 15-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

How Strong Is Your Relationship? Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

The Marital Disillusionment Scale | Link to a PDF version of this assessment tool

Marital Satisfaction Survey | A PDF scale to evaluate marital satisfaction; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

The Passionate Love Scale | A PDF tool with scoring instructions

Perceived Relationship Quality Components Inventory (PRQC) | Link to a Word version of this scale to assess six components of relationship quality

Quick Compassionate Love Test | A 6-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess compassion in a relationship

Relationship Assessment Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relationship Expectations Questionnaire | A PDF tool; click on link listed in the “Interactive Section for Couples”

Sternberg Triangular Love Test | A 45-question interactive test from PsychCentral to assess intimacy, passion, and commitment

The Sustainable Marriage Quiz | A 10-question interactive quiz from PsychCentral

Attachment Styles

The Attachment Style Assessment | Interactive tool for assessing how you attach to romantic partners; you must submit your email to see your results

Attachment Styles and Close Relationships | Interactive surveys to determine attachment style

Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test | Interactive assessment; you must submit your email to see your score

Measure of Attachment Qualities | Measures adult attachment styles (PDF)

Romantic Attachment Quiz | A 41-item quiz from PsychCentral to help you determine your romantic attachment style in relationships

Vulnerable Attachment Style Questionnaire (VASQ) | Links to PDF version of questionnaire and scoring instructions

Communication

The 5 Love Languages | A PDF assessment for assessing primary love “languages”

Interpersonal Communication Skills Inventory | A PDF self-assessment designed to provide insight into communication strengths and areas for development. Includes scoring instructions.

Interpersonal Communication Skills Test – Abridged | Interactive test from PsychCentral

Learn Your Love Language | An online quiz for couples to determine primary love language(s). (You are required to enter your information to get quiz results.)

Nonverbal Immediacy Scale | Online interactive tool for assessing differences in the use of body language when communicating; printable version here

Open DISC Assessment Test | Online interactive tool for assessing your communication style

Self-Perceived Communication Competence Scale | Printable scale with scoring instructions

Willingness To Communicate | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Willingness To Listen | Printable assessment with scoring instructions

Domestic Violence & Sex Addiction

Danger Assessment Screening Tool | Clinicians can download a PDF version of this assessment, which helps predict the level of danger in an abusive relationship; this screening tool was developed to predict violence and homicide.

Domestic Violence Assessment Tools | Five assessments from the Domestic Shelters site

Domestic Violence Screening Quiz | Interactive test from PsychCentral to determine if you’re involved in a dangerous abusive relationship

Sexual Addiction Quiz | A brief screening measure from PsychCentral to help you determine if you are struggling with sexual addiction

Additional Relationship Assessment Tools

20 Question Self-Assessment for Healthy Boundaries | Download a PDF assessment created by Dr. Jane Bolton; scoring instructions not included

Brief Index of Sexual Functioning for Women (BISF-W) | Subscription required to access assessment tool

Desire to Have Children Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale

Emotional Intelligence Quiz | An online interactive test to measure how well you read other people

Empathy Quiz | An online interactive test to measure empathy

Evaluations of Attractiveness Scale: Female Attractiveness | Male Attractiveness | Online interactive tests for assessing preferences

Ideal Partner and Ideal Relationship Scales | Link to Word scales to assess ideal partner attributes and ideal relationship qualities

Interactive Behavioral Couple Therapy Questionnaires | 5 downloadable PDF assessments for couples

Jealousy Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument; scoring instructions not included

Love Attitudes Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale that measures different love styles; scoring instructions included

Marital Forgiveness Scale-Event | Marital Forgiveness Scale (Dispositional) | Links to PDF versions of scales with scoring instructions

Marital Offense-Specific Forgiveness Scale | Link to a PDF version of this scale; scoring instructions not included

Perceptions of Love and Sex Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale with scoring instructions

The Relational Assessment Questionnaire | Link to a PDF version of this questionnaire (with scoring instructions) to measure relational aspects of self

Relationship Trust Quiz | An online interactive tool

Respect Toward Partner Scale | Link to a Word version of this scale (with scoring key)

Romantic Partner Conflict Scale (RPCS) | Link to a PDF version of this scale with scoring instructions; Word version also available

The Sexual Disgust Inventory | PDF scale with scoring instructions

The Spann-Fischer Codependency Scale | A 16-item scale (PDF) to measure codependency

Susceptibility to Infidelity Instrument | Link to a PDF version of this instrument and information on scoring

Trust Scale | PDF tool for assessing trust within close interpersonal relationships

Where Can I Find Help?

Where can you find the help you need? While there are plenty of resources out there for mental health and recovery, they’re not always easy to find… or affordable. (Plus, the Internet is full of scams!) This article is a starting point for getting help when you aren’t sure where to turn. This post offers practical guidelines; all of the resources in this article are trustworthy and reliable… and will point you in the right direction.

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

This post is not comprehensive; rather, it’s a starting point for getting the help you need. There are plenty of resources out there for mental health and recovery, but they’re not always easy to find (or affordable). The resources in this post are trustworthy and reliable… and will point you in the right direction.

If you need treatment for mental health or substance use, but aren’t sure how to find it…

If you have insurance, check your insurer’s website.

For substance use and mental health disorders, you can access the SAMHSA treatment locator. You can find buprenorphine treatment (medication-assisted treatment for opioid addiction) through SAMHSA as well.

Consider using Mental Health America’s interactive tool, Where to Get Help. NeedyMeds.org also has a locator to help you find low-cost mental health and substance abuse clinics.

Additionally, you could contact your local Mental Health America Affiliate for advice and/or referrals.

If you can’t afford therapy…

EAP (employee assistance programs) frequently offer free (time-limited) counseling sessions.

At campus counseling centers, grad students sometimes offer free or low-cost services.

You could look into community mental health centers or local churches (pastoral counseling).

In some areas, you may be able to find pro bono counseling services. (Google “pro bono counseling” or “free therapy.”) You may also be able to connect with a peer specialist or counselor (for free) instead of seeing a licensed therapist.

As an alternative to individual counseling, you could attend a support group (self-help) or therapy group; check hospitals, churches, and community centers. The DBSA peer-lead support group locator tool will help you find local support groups. Meetup.com may also have support group options.

Additional alternatives: Consider online forums or communities. Watch or read self-help materials. Buy a workbook (such as The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-By-Step Program) from amazon.com. Download a therapy app.

Lastly, you could attend a free workshop or class at a local church, the library, a college or university, a community agency, or a hospital.

If you’re under 18 and need help, but your parents won’t let you see a counselor (or “don’t believe in therapy”)…

Some, but not all, states require parental consent for adolescents to participate in therapy. Start by looking up the laws in your state. You may be able to see a treatment provider without consent from a legal guardian. If your state is one that mandates consent, consider scheduling an appointment with your school counselor. In many schools, school counseling is considered a regular educational service and does not require parental consent.

Self-help groups, while not a substitute for mental health treatment, provide a venue for sharing your problems in a supportive environment. (If you suffer from a mental health condition, use NAMI to locate a support group in your state. If you struggle with addiction, consider AA or NA.)

Alternatively, you could join an online forum or group. (Mental Health America offers an online community with over 1 million users and NAMI offers OK2Talk, an online community for adolescents and young adults.)

You could also contact a Mental Health America Affiliate who would be able to tell you about local resources and additional options.

If you’re in crisis, call the Boys Town Hotline at 1-800-448-3000 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. Alternatively, you can text HOME to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor.

Lastly, consider talking with your pastor or a trusted teacher, reading self-help materials, downloading a therapy app, journaling, meditation or relaxation techniques, exercising, or therapy podcasts/videos.

If a loved one or friend says they’re going to kill themselves, but refuses help…

Call 911. If you’re with that person, stay with them until help arrives.

If you are thinking about or planning suicide…

Call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or Veterans Crisis Line. Alternatively, you can text HOME to 741741 to text with a trained crisis counselor. Call 911 if you think you might act. 

If you are grieving…

Check local hospitals and churches for grief support groups; some areas may have nonprofits that offer free services, such as Let Haven Help or Community Grief and Loss Center in Northern Virginia.

Additionally, a funeral home or hospice center may be able to provide resources.

If you are a veteran, you and your family should be able to access free counseling through the VA.

The Compassionate Friends offers support after the loss of a child. Call for a customized package of bereavement materials (at no charge) or find a support group (in-person or online).

GRASP is a grief and recovery support network for those who have lost a loved one through substance use. You can find suicide support groups using the American Association of Suicidology’s directory or the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s support group locator.

Hello Grief provides resources and education for children and adolescents who are grieving.

There are also online communities, forums, and support groups, including groups for suicide survivors such as Alliance of Hope and Parents of Suicides – Friends and Families of Suicides.

If you are a victim of sexual assault or domestic violence…

If you are sexually assaulted, call 911 or the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (or live chat). Find help and resources at National Sexual Violence Resource Center.

For male survivors of sexual abuse: MaleSurvivors.org

For domestic violence: The National Domestic Violence Hotline

For gender-based violence: VAWnet

For teen dating abuse: LoveIsRespect or Break The Cycle

LGBTQ: National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs for LGBT Communities

If you’re a victim of sex trafficking…

Access Coalition to Abolish Slavery and Trafficking or call National Human Trafficking Hotline at 1-888-373-7888 (or text 233733).

 

If you’re a victim of or stalking…

If you believe you are in immediate danger, call 911. Find help and info at Stalking Resource Center and Stalking Awareness Month.

 

If you can’t stop gambling…

Call or text the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-522-4700. Access screening tools and treatment at National Council on Problem Gambling. Attend a Gamblers Anonymous Group or other support group for problem gambling.

If you or a loved one has an eating disorder…

If you want to approach a loved one about his or her eating disorder, start by reading some guidelines (such as Helping Someone with an Eating Disorder from HelpGuide.org).

Contact the National Eating Disorders Helpline at 1-800-931-2237. (Alternatively, there’s a “live chat” option.) For support, resources, screening tools, and treatment options, explore the National Eating Disorder Association site.

Find support groups, recovery tools, and local treatment centers at Eating Disorder Hope.

Attend an Eating Disorders Anonymous meeting (in-person or online). You may also want to consider an Overeaters Anonymous meeting.

 

If you are engaging in self-harm and can’t stop…

Call 1-800-DONT-CUT or attend an online support group, such as Self Mutilators Anonymous.

Read personal stories, learn coping skills, and access resources at Self-injury Outreach and Support.

Join an online community like RecoverYourLife.com.

Try one of these 146 things to do instead of engaging in self-harm from the Adolescent Self Injury Foundation.

 

If you’re concerned about the drinking or drug use of a friend or family member, but they don’t want help…

If you’re considering staging an intervention, know that there’s little to no evidence to support the effectiveness of this tactic. 

Instead, read guidelines for approaching the issue (like What to Do If Your Adult Friend or Loved One Has a Problem with Drugs or How to Talk about Addiction). Learn everything that you can about addiction. Explore treatment centers in the area; if your loved one changes their mind, you’ll be prepared to help.

Explore Learn to Cope, a peer-led support network for families coping with the addiction of a loved one. Alternatively, you could attend Al-Anon or Nar-Anon.

Keep in mind that it’s almost impossible to help someone who doesn’t want it. You can’t control your loved one or force them into treatment. Instead, find a way to accept that there’s no logic to addiction; it’s a complex brain disorder and no amount of pleading, arguing, or “guilting” will change that.

If a friend or family member overdoses on heroin or other opioid…

Call 911 immediately.

How to recognize the signs of opiate overdose: Recognizing Opiate Overdose from Harm Reduction Coalition

You can receive free training to administer naloxone, which reverses an opioid overdose. Take an online training course at Get Naloxone Now. You can purchase naloxone OTC in most states at CVS or Walgreens.

For more information about how to respond to an opioid overdose, access SAMHSA’s Opioid Overdose Prevention Toolkit (for free).

 

If you want to quit smoking…

In addition to talking to your doctor about medication, the patch, and/or nicotine gum, visit Smoke FreeBe Tobacco Free, or Quit.com for resources, tools, and tips.

Call a smoking cessation hotline (like 1-800-QUIT-NOW) or live chat with a specialist, such as LiveHelp (National Cancer Institute).

Download a free app (like QuitNow! or Smoke Free) or sign up for a free texting program, like SmokefreeTXT, for extra support.

Attend an online workshop or participate in a smoking cessation course; your insurance provider may offer one or you may find classes at a local hospital or community center. You could also contact your EAP for additional resources.

If you or a loved one have a hoarding problem…

Read guidelines for approaching a hoarding issue with someone such as Hoarding: How to Help a Friend.

Learn more about hoarding and find help (support groups, treatment, etc.) at Hoarding: Help for Hoarding.

 

If your therapist is making unwanted sexual remarks/advances…

Contact the licensing board to file a complaint. Each state has a different licensing board. Additionally, contact the therapist’s professional association (i.e. American Counseling AssociationAmerican Psychological Association, etc.) Provide your name, address, and telephone number (unless filing anonymously). Identify the practitioner you are reporting by his or her full name and license type. Provide a detailed summary of your concerns. Attach copies (not originals) of documents relating to your concerns, if applicable.

Read NAMI’s How Do I File a Complaint against a Mental Health Care Facility or Professional?

 

If you want to take a confidential online assessment for mental health or substance use disorders…

Free and anonymous screenings: Screening for Mental Health, Inc. or Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance Mental Health Screening

For additional sites, self-help guides, literature, etc., check out the resource page.

If you know of a great resource, post in the comments below!