Developing Self-Confidence

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Strategies & Resources for Developing Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is “the belief that you can do things well and that other people respect you.” Someone who is self-confident feels worthwhile and is optimistic about their abilities.

Early Experiences Influence Self-Confidence

How do we develop self-confidence? Early childhood experiences with parents (or caretakers) shape how we view ourselves and our capabilities. A child whose parents are supportive and encouraging develops a sense of self-efficacy; they feel nurtured and secure. In contrast, children who are neglected or abused may be fearful or uncertain.

Peer relationships also impact the development of confidence; positive social interactions foster self-assurance and high self-esteem. Conversely, a child who is rejected or teased may experience a sense of unworthiness or feel unsure about their abilities.

Once a child develops low self-worth, it can be difficult to bounce back. Children who are ostracized or bullied by their playmates become hesitant to initiate or engage in play. The absence of peer socialization leads to further isolation. As a result, critical social skills are not learned, making the child an even less desirable playfellow, which only reinforces the belief that they’re undeserving.

Lack of Self-Confidence

The patterns formed in early childhood tend to repeat themselves. A child who never develops a sense of competence will not grow up to be a confident, self-reliant adult.

“For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.”

John Connolly

Traits of low self-confidence include discounting yourself and doubting your capacity for effectiveness. A person who lacks self-assurance may believe they’re inferior to others. They may experience anxiety or depression and struggle with learned helplessness (the belief that one has no control over what happens to them in life).

A lack of confidence can also lead to fear of rejection or criticism. Constructive feedback can feel like a personal attack. This person may have trouble accepting compliments or expressing their opinion.

When someone is highly insecure, they avoid social events. They’re more likely to be bullied at work or involved with an abusive partner. As a result, their relationships and overall quality of life suffer.

Self-Confident Traits

In contrast, someone who is self-confident views themselves as competent; they feel good about themselves. They have a positive outlook on life and are generally optimistic. A self-confident person is often resilient and able to quickly recover after experiencing setbacks.

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”

Blake Lively

10 Traits of Self-Confident People

1. Genuine

2. Optimistic and positive

3. Ask questions and are eager to learn

4. Open to feedback and constructive criticism

5. Take healthy risks

6. Able to laugh at self

7. Don’t internalize failure

8. Take ownership (of both successes and mistakes)

9. Take pride in accomplishments

10. Able to make decisions without too much difficulty


Strategies for Developing Self-Confidence

Correct cognitive distortions

A cognitive distortion is an error in thinking or a self-defeating belief that is not an accurate reflection of reality. Cognitive distortions impact how we view ourselves and our abilities. For example, black-and-white (or all-or-nothing) thinking is a distortion of “absolutes” (i.e. “If I fail at something, I’ll fail at everything”).

By replacing irrational views with ones that are reality-based, you’ll feel more confident. (See 50 Common Cognitive Distortions for a list of thinking errors from Psychology Today.)

Adjust your attitude

Your overall perspective greatly impacts confidence. If you’re generally negative and believe that failure is inevitable, it will become your reality. Instead, practice optimism and gratitude. A positive attitude enhances self-confidence.

Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure.

Albert Bandura

Track your achievements

Is optimism challenging due to circumstances, barriers, or obstacles? Try creating a list of all the things you’re proud of – your biggest accomplishments in life. Did you graduate college? Quit smoking? Pay off a loan? Raise a child? Earn an award? To enhance self-confidence, take pride in your successes. Review the list often and update it with successive achievements.

Identify talents, skills, and knowledge

In addition to acknowledging accomplishments, recognize your unique talents, skills, and knowledge. What are you good at? What are your areas of expertise? Instead of lamenting a lack of athleticism, relish in your ability to make others laugh or your mastery of the Dothraki language.

mistakes happen

You’re only human after all, and as a human, you are going to make mistakes. You will never achieve perfection, so let go of unrealistic standards or expectations you have for yourself. Also, don’t beat yourself up for your mistakes; be kind to yourself… and be wise. When you mess up, own it, and then learn from the error. Every mistake is a growth opportunity; you only fail when you give up.

Don’t compare out

(Or if you do, compare yourself to others who lack what you have!) There will always be people who are better off and there will always be people who have it worse than you. To build confidence, use yourself as the measure for success, not someone else.

Fake it till you make it (“act as if”)

To feel confident, act confident! Be intentional in your speech, actions, and how you carry yourself. Act like you know what you’re doing, and people will believe it, which in turn will influence how you feel about yourself. Just like thoughts have the power to alter behaviors, behaviors can impact thoughts and beliefs.

“I taught myself confidence. When I’d walk into a room and feel scared to death, I’d tell myself, ‘I’m not afraid of anybody.’ And people believed me. You’ve got to teach yourself to take over the world.”

Priyanka Chopra

Seek support

Ask for help when you need it. Rely on trusted family and friends for support and encouragement. (It should also be noted that if you have a mental illness, you may require professional help. Feelings of worthlessness, panic, and extreme self-consciousness are examples of symptoms that interfere with someone’s ability to feel confident; they can be treated with psychotherapy and/or medication.)

Lastly, practice regular self-care

When you’re tired or rundown, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. It’s also true that you won’t function as well when your basic needs aren’t met. If a vehicle is not well-maintained, its performance suffers; the same is true for people. Eat healthy foods, get adequate rest, drink plenty of water, exercise daily, and seek treatment when ill.

Resources for Self-Confidence

Articles & Links

Free Kindle eBooks

Free PDF Workbooks

Conclusion

Everyone is good at something. Recognize your unique abilities, and take pride in them. Allow yourself to feel confident; life is too short for inaction related to self-doubt.

At the same time, assess and remain aware of areas for growth. Strive for self-improvement; be assured that you can learn new skills and make positive changes in your life.



References

25 Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Use the following 25 journal prompts to explore your beliefs and values. Reflect on the answers to better understand who you are and what drives you.


25 Journal Prompts for Self-Discovery

1. Who am I when no one is around?

2. What are my personal boundaries?

3. What values are most important to me?

4. How do my values impact my choices and actions?

5. What is my personal “code for life”? What rules or ethics do I abide by?

6. What expectations do I have for myself?

7. What advice would I give to my younger self?

8. Am I living up to my full potential in life? If not, what is holding me back?

9. If I die today, how will I be remembered? How do I want to be remembered?

10. What (or who) am I holding on to that I need to let go? What are the reasons I’ve held on to them? What could happen if I let go of them?

“Journaling is like whispering to one’s self and listening at the same time.”

Mina Murray

11. What are my resentments? What role do I play in each resentment?

12. For what moment today (or recently) am I the most grateful? The least grateful?

13. When today (or recently) did I ask for what I needed? When today (or recently) did I not ask for what I needed? What was the outcome?

14. What was my biggest struggle today?

15. What helped me most with my negativity today (or recently)? What helped me least with my negativity today (or recently)?

16. What are some of my biases? Where did they come from?

17. What parts of myself do I tend to hide from others and why?

18. What is my definition of love?

19. What qualities do I look for in a friend? Am I someone I’d want to be friends with? Why or why not?

20. What are my relationship values?

“Journal writing, when it becomes a ritual for transformation, is not only life-changing but life-expanding.”

Jen Williamson

21. What is a reoccurring dream that I have?

22. What are my biggest regrets in life?

23. What are my motivations in life?

24. How have I changed in the past year?

25. What do I want to change the most about myself and why?

“Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.”

William Wordsworth

For additional questions for self-discovery, see 161 Questions to Explore Values, Ideas, & Beliefs.

Therapist Bucket List

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

The Merriam-Webster definition of a bucket list is “a list of things that one has not done before but wants to do before dying.” This post is a therapist bucket list with 26 professional achievement ideas for counselors and other mental health workers!

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

Mahatma Gandhi
Image by Richard Park from Pixabay

Therapist Bucket List

26 Professional Achievement Ideas for Counselors and Other Mental Health Workers

1. Earn an advanced degree or certificate.

2. Become licensed in your state.

3. Start a nonprofit organization or charity for mental health.

4. Specialize.

5. Open a private practice.

6. Conduct and publish a research study.

7. Write a magazine or newspaper article.

8. Develop and validate an assessment tool.

9. Become president or chairperson of a professional organization.

10. Write and publish a book, workbook, guide, or manual.

11. Develop a new theory/model or treatment intervention.

12. Create and maintain a website.

13. Become a teacher or professor.

14. Run for public office.

15. Become a mentor or clinical supervisor.

16. Develop an online course or training program.

17. Organize and/or facilitate a seminar or workshop.

18. Start a podcast.

19. Develop a mobile app.

20. Write a bill for mental health reform.

21. Start a mental health or counseling YouTube Channel.

22. Develop and moderate a Facebook group for mental health professionals.

23. Advocate by organizing and leading a peaceful protest for reform.

24. Win an award.

25. Present in a TED Talk.

26. Inspire positive change!


To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to.”

Kahlil Gibran

For additional ideas for professional growth, see Professional Development for Counselors and Characteristics of an Effective Therapist.


Post your therapist bucket list ideas in a comment!

Substance Abuse Counseling: An Interview

An interview with JS, a substance abuse counselor who works with people from all walks of life.

JS is a certified substance abuse counselor who works at a residential treatment center in northern Virginia. The following article is about his work, thoughts on relapse, what it’s like to lose a client, stigma, and valuable advice for anyone considering a career in addiction counseling.


Interview: “They Are Just People”

JS works at an intermediate-length residential center for adults with substance use and mental health disorders. The clients live in shared dorms and adhere to a daily schedule that includes counseling, psychoeducation, groups, 12-step meetings, and medication therapy.

Once a client successfully completes the inpatient portion of treatment, they transition to “re-entry.” In re-entry, clients reside in sober living homes and receive continuing care services. They are able to look for employment, start working, and “re-enter” the larger community. JS provides counseling and support services for this component.

Inspired to help

JS has personal experience with addiction. “I am a person in recovery… About a decade ago I found myself in a very dark place and had to get help… I met a substance abuse counselor [who] changed my life. He educated me, engaged me, and challenged me. He was instrumental in turning my life around.”

With his counselor’s encouragement and support, JS made the decision to get back on track. He realized that he wanted to help others who struggled. “My own experiences with addiction allow me to have an incredibly deep empathy for the clients I serve and the fulfillment I receive in return is unreal.”

“Addiction does not discriminate”

JS works with people from all walks of life. He’s worked with individuals who are homeless to young fathers to successful businessmen; from people in their teens to adults in their late 80’s. “There is no age, sex, gender, race, sexual orientation, religion, occupation, or economic class that is safe from addiction.”

As for the substances abused, the list is never ending, but JS regularly sees people addicted to alcohol, opiates (including heroin), cocaine, methamphetamine, and PCP. Many of the clients he counsels also have mental illness such as depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder.

No typical days

According to JS, “typical” days don’t exist where he works. “There is no way to describe a typical day in this field. One day I could be [providing therapy] and another day could involve a trip to the emergency room or helping out with chores… I never know what to expect and I never get bored.”

Effective treatment planning is important for substance abuse counselors; JS meets with his clients to develop an individualized service plan. Clients come up with their own goals, and JS supplies interventions to help them achieve their goals over the next couple of months.

According to JS, client goals vary, ranging from attending 12-meetings to obtaining a driver’s license to enrolling in school; basically, a goal can be any life skill a person may need for success. Corresponding interventions could include providing bus tokens to get to AA meetings, linking to driving school, and helping to fill out college applications and apply for financial aid.

JS explained that adults who have been incarcerated or dealing drugs for a living miss out on major milestones such as learning to drive, attending college, renting an apartment, etc. Furthermore, basic skills that many of us take for granted, such as filling out an online form or depositing a check can be overwhelming for someone newly in recovery who never learned how.

JS meets with his clients at least once per week for therapy sessions. I asked what comes up in a typical session and his response was “anything and everything.” Sessions may involve reviewing goals, learning coping skills, poop jokes (his clients are all men), or processing childhood trauma.

Substance abuse and relapse

“Not good” was JS’s response when I asked what the success rate was for someone who completes re-entry. He explained that this is a reflection of the general rates of recovery in substance abuse, which are low. “It can be disheartening, working with someone for months and when they leave, they relapse in less than a week.”

JS explained that while relapse is a deterrent to the field for some counselors, he sees it differently. “For me, it will never be a deterrent. My battle with addiction was not easy, nor was it accomplished in a single attempt. Relapse is a part of my story. I would not be here if people gave up or lost hope that I could get better. For that, I will never give up or lose hope that my clients can recover, no matter how many times they relapse.”

For JS, losing a client, not relapse, is the hardest part of the job. “I’ve worked with many clients who didn’t make it. I’ve lost clients to overdose, suicide, and homicide. It never gets easier.”

JS grieves for his lost clients. “I find myself wading through the stages of grief until I reach some level of acceptance.”

What everyone needs to know about substance abuse

“The people I work with are just people. They are your sister, your cousin, your neighbor, or the guy in line at the grocery store. They are people with families, jobs, hobbies, and dreams.”

JS discussed ignorance and stigma; he shared that individuals with substance use disorders are often subjected to mistreatment, even from professionals in the field. “There are substance abuse counselors who perpetuate harmful addiction myths, once widely accepted as fact, but discredited by the scientific community decades ago.”

JS shared examples of common myths:

  • “All addicts are liars.”
  • “Addicts are lazy and selfish.”
  • “It’s not a disease, it’s a choice.”

“The lack of compassion when it comes to substance abuse is mindboggling and painful to encounter. Often, it stems from a lack of understanding or knowledge about substance abuse and those with substance use disorders. They are just people who are struggling with something far beyond their control. And those in treatment? They are just people trying to get better. And in case I didn’t make it clear; they are just people.”

Advice for new substance abuse counselors

“Be willing to learn. The field of addiction treatment is constantly changing. Standard practices from 20 years ago are now ineffective and outdated. If you want to do this work, be open to learning the newest treatment models, medications, and research on addiction. This field is not static, and we do our clients a major disservice when we quit learning.”

As a last piece of advice, JS suggested self-care for substance abuse counselors as a way to combat burnout. “Identify ways to decompress. This job is not easy. Some of the people you help will die. Compassion fatigue is a real thing and you must take care of yourself to care for others.”

“They are just people.”

JS

17 Self-Care Ideas for Mental Health Professionals

Prevent burnout and combat compassion fatigue with these 17 self-care ideas and strategies for therapists.

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Self-care
Image by Wokandapix from Pixabay

A recent study found that many mental health professionals do not recognize their own burnout. For therapists and other mental health workers, self-care is essential for preventing burnout and compassion fatigue.

Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.

Parker Palmer

This is a list of self-care ideas and strategies for mental health professionals. Please share with anyone who might benefit!


For additional self-care ideas, see 11 Self-Care Ideas You May Not Have Considered and Self-Care Strategies When Your Loved One Has an Addiction.


Self-Care Ideas for Mental Health Professionals

1) Take small breaks throughout the day. Spend a few moments sitting in silence, browse funny memes, joke with a coworker, or take your lunch outside; by the end of your workday, you won’t feel as drained.

2) Meditate. Spend at least 5-10 minutes a day, in the morning or between sessions, meditating or listening to guided imagery recordings.

3) Schedule an appointment weeks in advance for a facial or massage. You’ll have something to look forward to!

4) Don’t neglect your basic needs. Drink water, choose healthy foods, exercise, and get plenty of sleep.

Don’t take your health for granted. Don’t take your body for granted. Do something today that communicates to your body that you desire to care for it. Tomorrow is not promised.

Jada Pinkett Smith

5) Reach out to people in your support network. When experiencing burnout, we have a tendency to think we’re weak or less capable. We may struggle to admit what we’re going through. However, seeking support during these times is more important than ever.

6) Don’t bring your work home with you. It can be difficult to not think about the problems a client is experiencing or to check your email, but it’s crucial to have balance in your life. If you let your work consume you, you’ll soon find yourself depleted and with nothing to give.

7) Take the time to sincerely thank or praise your colleagues. Sometimes, it seems as though we’re in a thankless field. Spread positivity by expressing gratitude and giving compliments. (I also like to pass along the praise I hear for someone else!)

8) Be kind to yourself. Be realistic. Practice positive self-talk and forgive yourself for the mistakes you make. Acknowledge that you’re not always going to know the right thing to say, nor will you be able to help every client you see.

Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love.

Brené Brown

9) Treat yourself to your favorite beverage at least once a week. Enjoy a Starbucks coffee or a kombucha tea during the workday. Consider surprising a coworker with one too!

10) If you work in a shared office space or residential setting, get up and communicate in-person instead of sending an email. (You can always follow-up with an email to recap the convo if needed.) Human interaction throughout the day is far more rewarding than staring at a screen.

11) Take a short “nature bath”! Multiple studies have found that being outdoors improves mood and reduces stress. If you work in an urban setting, nurture a potted plant or listen to nature sounds in your office to promote relaxation.

12. Bring your furry friend to work. Pets make us happy; one study found that having a dog in the office made a positive difference by reducing stress and making the job more satisfying for other employees.

13) Update the lighting in your office. Natural light exposure in the office is linked to a better quality of life. If possible, take advantage of sunlight during the day by keeping the blinds open.

14. Find self-care ideas online. I recommend the Self-Care Starter Kit from University at Buffalo School of Social Work and Dr. Kristen Neff’s Self-Compassion site.

I found in my research that the biggest reason people aren’t more self-compassionate is that they are afraid they’ll become self-indulgent. They believe self-criticism is what keeps them in line. Most people have gotten it wrong because our culture says being hard on yourself is the way to be.

Kristen Neff

15. Stretch! Yoga is known to reduce stress and improve mood. Take a class or simply practice stretching exercises throughout the workday.

16. Listen to music while typing your notes. I love paperwork… Said no therapist ever. Play your favorite tunes to motivate you and make the time pass quickly.

17. Immerse yourself in quiet with a silent commute. After listening to talk all day long, it’s soothing to listen to absolutely nothing on your way home. Recharge with silence.


Post your favorite self-care strategies in a comment!


References

20 Check-In Ideas for Therapy Sessions

This is a list of 20 check-in ideas for counseling sessions

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

A helping hand
Image by cm_dasilva from Pixabay

How do you start out a counseling session? For example, my go-to check-ins for gauging where the client is at are: “How has your day been?” and “How are you feeling today?”

Checking in helps to assess for mood and can create a focus for the session. Check-ins can also help to increase the client’s comfort level and create a safe space for sharing and healing.

We all need somewhere where we feel safe.

Emma Thompson

This is a resource list for mental health clinicians with 20 check-in ideas for therapy.


Check-In Ideas for Therapy Sessions

1) I’m glad you’re here! What brings you in? (For initial session)

2) Good to see you! How was the drive?

3) What are you hoping to get out of our session today?

4) What are your goals for today?

5) What would you like to focus on today?

6) Where would you like to start?

7) Would you like to start by reviewing the homework session?

8) Let’s begin with a short meditation. [Guide client through meditation or imagery exercise]

9) Last week we left off on [topic or themes from previous session]. Where do you want to pick up today?

10) How is your mind?

11) Where are you at today?

12) Rate your mood on a scale from 1-10.

13) What are some things you’re feeling good about?

14) What’s been going well this week?

15) What’s something positive that’s happened since we last met?

16) Anything new or exciting since we last met?

17) What’s new in your world?

18) What are some highs and lows you’ve experienced?

19) What’s been working for you and what have you found challenging?

20) Catch me up on things.


For additional check-in ideas, see Group Check-In Ideas and Do You Speak Therapist?

For avoiding suggestibility in initial interviews, read Client Suggestibility: A Beginner’s Guide for Mental Health Professionals from the American Counseling Association.


Download a PDF version of this post below:


Post your check-in ideas in a comment!

Resources for Anger Management

Free resources for anger management, including articles/guides, assessments, PDF printable handouts, worksheets, workbooks, and recommended mobile apps.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Anger
Image by Tumisu from Pixabay

This resource list includes articles/guides; free anger assessments (both interactive and PDF formats); free printable workbooks, manuals, handouts, and worksheets; treatment planning resources; research articles/dissertations; and recommended mobile apps.

Please share this resource with anyone you think would benefit!


ANGER MANAGEMENT RESOURCES

Articles & Guides

Free Anger Assessments


For additional free assessments, see Free Online Assessment & Screening Tools.

Free PDF Handouts & Worksheets for Anger


For additional sites with free therapy worksheets, see Sites with Free Therapy Worksheets.

Free PDF Workbooks & Manuals for Anger


For additional printable PDF workbooks and manuals, see Free Printable PDF Workbooks, Manuals, & Self-Help Guides.

Treatment Planning Resources for Anger

Research Articles & Dissertations

Recommended Mobile Apps for Anger


Powerful Therapy Metaphors

Effective analogies to illustrate growth, self-care, emotions, addiction, grief, counseling, and life concepts

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Puzzle pieces to show how metaphors link ideas together
Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

As a counselor, you probably have a few “go-to” therapy metaphors that you use in sessions. For example, the “airplane oxygen mask” metaphor is a powerful analogy that demonstrates the significance of meeting your own needs before attempting to help others.

Another example of a therapy metaphor is the “rearview mirror” analogy. If you’re driving, and your entire concentration is on what’s behind you, you’ll crash. Good drivers, in contrast, focus ahead, but also regularly check the rearview mirror. The “rearview mirror” metaphor effectively illustrates how recovery from drugs and alcohol requires learning from, but not dwelling on, past mistakes and regrets.

Powerful Therapy Metaphors: Analogies in Counseling

The following is a list of helpful therapy metaphors and analogies for growth, self-care, emotions, addiction, grief, counseling, and life.


For additional therapy metaphors, click here.

For commonly used therapy questions and phrases, see Do You Speak Therapist?


Metaphors for Growth & Self-Care

Forming a new habit is like carving a path in the jungle. You trod through the undergrowth and take the same route over and over again, until a clear path is formed. Meanwhile, older pathways become overgrown and wild, disappearing from sight with unuse.

A habit forms the way water carves a new stream or river.

You can’t see the grass growing, but after a week or so, you can see that the lawn needs mowing.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.

Mind the “check engine” light in your car. It indicates that something is wrong; if you ignore it, the problem will likely become worse. The longer you ignore internal cues, the greater the damage to your “car.”

A plant requires the right amount of water, sunlight, and fertilizer to grow and thrive.

You are a battery that needs to be recharged every so often.

Metaphors for Emotions

Our emotions are like a thermometer in the window. You can see clouds or rain or sun, but without a thermometer, you won’t know if it’s 90 degrees or 17 below. Emotions impact how you experience the outside world.

Life is like a heart monitor; there are ups and downs. If it goes flat, you’re dead.

The more you bottle up your emotions, the more likely you are to explode.

Repressing anger is like stuffing trash in a garbage can. Eventually, it’s going to spill over if you don’t take out the trash.

When you resent someone, it’s like drinking poison and expecting them to die.

Anxiety is a hungry monster that gets bigger when you feed it.

Worrying is like riding a stationary bike; you can peddle as hard as you can, but you’ll never get anywhere.

Therapy Metaphors for Addiction

Addiction is a disease of the soul.

When you’re in active addiction, you’re a shadow of yourself.

Addiction is like being in a toxic relationship. It’s all-consuming, lust-worthy, and even thrilling at times… but at the cost of your health and well-being. You have to break up in order to move on with your life.

Addiction is like a tornado, ravaging everything in its path. After the storm, it’s time to rebuild. It won’t look exactly the way it did before the tornado hit… but there’s potential for things to be even better.

Addiction is like other chronic health conditions in that there’s no cure, but it’s 100% manageable with treatment and lifestyle changes.

The longer you sit and stare at a plate of cookies, the more likely you are to give in to temptation. Set yourself up for success by avoiding triggers when possible.

If you hang out in a barber shop long enough you’ll end up getting a haircut.

Temptation is like a muscle that grows weaker with use until it finally gives out.

Living life without drugs or alcohol is like any skill; you first learn how to do it and then you have to practice. You may slip up, but don’t give up; learn from your mistakes. You can’t excel at anything without practice.

Cravings are like waves; ride them out until the wave recedes.

Attempting to save someone from drowning is dangerous. In their frantic efforts for oxygen, they’ll claw over and push the person trying to help underwater. This is an unconscious survival instinct. When your loved one is in active addiction, they’ll fight anyone and anything that gets in their way of a gulp of air.

Metaphors for Grief

Grief is a deep wound that takes time to heal. The wound is raw and painful, but will eventually scab over, although leaving behind a permanent scar.

Every person you lose takes a little piece of you with them.

Metaphors for Counseling

Going to therapy is akin to filling your toolbox with tools.

In a car, your therapist is a passenger in the front seat, but you’re behind the wheel. A passenger offers assistance with reading the map and providing directions, but it’s up to you to choose the turns you’ll take, and ultimately, the destination.

A counselor doesn’t provide the answers, but offers the tools to find them.

Going to therapy is like going to the gym; you may feel sore and you won’t see immediate effects, but the long-term results are gratifying and well-worth the investment.

Therapy Metaphors for Life

Problems in life are like bad smells; you can attempt to mask them or cover them up, but you have to remove the source before they can truly go away.

You can’t choose the canvas or paint in life, but you decide the picture you’ll paint.

Your life is a book with many chapters and pages. Every day is a new page. You write your own story.

Life is like a “choose your own adventure” book. You make decisions, but you can’t always predict the outcome.

Sometimes you’re dealt a really sh**** hand. How are you going to play your cards?

The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.


Post your “go-to” therapy metaphors in a comment!

8 Fast-Acting Strategies for Stress Relief

Feel happy and relaxed with these 8 simple evidence-based strategies for reducing stress and improving mood

By Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

Image by Davidqr from Pixabay

Stress is the body’s reaction to an event or situation. Primarily a physiological response, stress is also experienced psychologically (i.e. worry). Too much stress is associated with mental health issues and chronic health problems.

Because we often have no control over stressors in our lives, it’s important to effectively manage stress.

Here are eight fast-acting stress relievers for short-term relief. (Click here for additional mood boosters.)


8 Fast-Acting Strategies for Stress Relief

1. Swap out sitting with sleep or light activity.

Less time sitting = Better mood. A recent study found that replacing sedentary behavior with sleep or light exercise (i.e. walking, gardening, etc.) improved mood. Substituting sleep was associated with decreased stress levels in addition to enhanced mood.

2. Take a 10-minute nature break.

“Nature therapy” is 100% free and highly effective. Research indicates that spending as little as 10 minutes outdoors can improve mood.

3. Become a plant parent.

Keep a plant in your office and place it where it’s easy to see. Tending for and gazing at a small indoor plant may reduce stress during the workday.

4. Get a 10-minute massage.

You’ll feel more relaxed and less stressed after receiving a head-and-neck or neck-and-shoulder massage. One study found that participants experienced reduced rates of both physiological and psychological stress after 10 minutes of massage.

5. Flirt!

Casual flirting and light-hearted banter at work may alleviate stress. Research indicates that engaging in flirtatious behaviors can lead to positive feelings about self while enhancing mood.

6. Have a Matcha latte.

Drinking Matcha green tea may lead to feeling less stressed. Researchers found that mice who consumed Matcha powder or extract experienced reductions in anxiety.

7. Stress less with your romantic partner.

When faced with a stressful situation, have your significant other present to ease your anxiety. If your partner is unavailable, visualize him/her; simply thinking of a significant other has comparable positive effects on blood pressure and stress reactivity.

8. LOLOLOL!

Frequent laughter seems to be a buffer for stress; people who laugh a lot experience fewer stress-related symptoms. Researchers found that the more someone laughed, the less likely they were to feel stressed.


Free COVID-19 Resources

(Updated 10/19/20) A COVID-19 resource list with free workbooks, e-books, online courses, and links

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, M.Ed., LPC, LSATP

COVID-19 Resources

Share these free COVID-19 resources with anyone you think might benefit!

COVID-19 WORKBOOKS

Coronavirus Anxiety Workbook (The Wellness Society) 28 pages

Doing What Matters In Times of Stress: An Illustrated Guide (Source: World Health Organization) 132 pages 🆕

Guide to Anxiety Relief and Self-Isolation (Tamsin Embleton)

Safe & Sane: A Coping Skills Workbook for When You’re Stuck at Home Due to COVID-19 (Harriet Gordon, LPC) 38 pages

Taking Care of Your Mental Health During the COVID-19 Pandemic (Angela M. Doel, MS, Elyse Pipitone, LCSW, & Lawrence E. Shapiro, Ph.D) 171 pages

Thriving at Home: A Mental Wellness Workbook for Children and Their Parents During Quarantine (Katie Bassiri, LPCC RPT-S, Shannon Grant, LPCC RPT-S, Amy Trevino, LPCC RPT, Marisol Olivas, LMFT, & Kelsie Bacon, LMSW) 38 pages

Tolerance for Uncertainty: A COVID-19 Workbook (Dr. Sachiko Nagasawa) 35 pages

The Working Mind Self-Care and Resilience Guide (Mental Health Commission of Canada) 12 pages

(Click here for additional free PDF workbooks.)

COVID-19 E-BOOKS

Face COVID: How to Respond Effectively to the Corona Crisis (Dr. Russ Harris)

The New York Times: Free E-Book – Answers to Your Coronavirus Questions

COVID-19 E-Books for Children

COVID-19 ONLINE LEARNING

Coronavirus Anxiety Online Course

CPD Online College: COVID-19 Awareness

Sentrient: Coronavirus (COVID-19) Safety at Work Online Courses

World Health Organization: Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19) Training – Online Training

COVID-19 LINKS

Anna Freud National Centre for Children and Families: Coronavirus Support

Anxiety and Depression Association of America: Coronavirus Corner – Helpful Expert Tips and Resources to Manage Anxiety

APA (American Psychiatric Association) Coronavirus Resources

Ariadne Labs: Serious Illness Care Program COVID-19 Response Toolkit

ASAM COVID-19 Resources 🆕

CDC: Coronavirus (COVID-19)

EBSCO: COVID-19 Information

Guilford Press: Guilford’s Response to Coronavirus (COVID-19) – Resources for Self-Help, Parenting, Clinical Practice, and Teaching

National Council for Behavioral Health: Resources and Tools for Addressing Coronavirus (COVID-19)

Pew Research Center: Coronavirus Disease (COVID-19)

Psychology Tools: Free Guide To Living With Worry And Anxiety Amidst Global Uncertainty

Safe Hands and Thinking Minds: Covid, Anxiety, Stress – Resources & Links

SAMHSA Resources and Information: Coronavirus (COVID-19)