Who are you when the things that once defined you are suddenly gone?
Recovery After Stroke
That was one of the questions at the heart of my recent conversation with Bill Gasiamis on Recovery After Stroke. I joined Bill to talk about having a stroke at 42 and what came afterward—not only the physical recovery, but the loss of my career and, along with it, much of the identity I had built around what I did.
We talked about what it was like to suddenly find myself without the roles and accomplishments that had once told me who I was, and the long process of figuring out who I might become next.
Talking about my stroke is very different now than it was in the early years of recovery. With time, I’ve been able to look beyond what happened medically and think more about everything the stroke changed.
Identity Loss
Losing my career was difficult, but losing the identity attached to that career was something I wasn’t prepared for. This conversation gave me an opportunity to talk about that part of recovery—the part that doesn’t always show up on a scan or in a rehabilitation plan.
I think one reason identity loss can be so difficult is that we often don’t realize how much of ourselves we’ve attached to our roles until one of them disappears. We describe ourselves by what we do, the relationships we have, the responsibilities we carry, and the things we’ve accomplished. When one of those pieces is suddenly taken away, the question becomes much bigger than, “What do I do now?” It becomes, “Who am I now?” Stroke forced me to confront that question much earlier in life than I ever expected.
One reason I continue to share my experience is that recovery after stroke can be incredibly isolating, particularly when the struggles aren’t visible to other people. There can be an expectation that once the immediate crisis has passed, life simply resumes. Mine didn’t. It took time to understand that rebuilding a life wasn’t necessarily the same thing as rebuilding the life I had before.
I’m grateful for the opportunity to share this part of my recovery after stroke and am glad to share our conversation here. You can listen to the full episode below.
Final Thoughts
Recovery after stroke isn’t always about getting back to who you were before. Sometimes, it’s about discovering who you are now. I hope sharing my story helps someone else navigating that same uncertain space between the life they had and the life they’re still learning to build.
Resources
If you or someone you love is navigating recovery after stroke, you don’t have to figure out every part of recovery alone. There are organizations offering information, connection, and support for both stroke survivors and their families. A few places to start include:
American Stroke Association — Stroke recovery information, an online Support Network, local stroke support groups, and caregiver resources.
Brain Injury Association of America (BIAA) — Information, advocacy, and connections to state and community resources that may be useful when recovery after stroke involves cognitive, behavioral, emotional, or other acquired brain injury-related challenges.
Stroke Family Warmline — A resource from the American Stroke Association providing information, support, and connection to services for individuals and families navigating recovery after stroke. Call 1-888-4-STROKE (1-888-478-7653).
Stroke Onward — Resources focused specifically on the emotional journey after stroke, including rebuilding identity and creating a rewarding life after stroke.
And, of course, there are the stories of other survivors. Sometimes simply hearing from someone who understands recovery after stroke and what it is like to lose pieces of your old life, and slowly begin building something new, can make the road ahead feel a little less lonely.
