For years, Mind Remake Project has been my home for sharing evidence-based mental health resources, practical tools, and educational content for clinicians, students, and anyone interested in psychology. That mission isn’t changing.
What is changing is that I’ve finally created a separate space dedicated to my writing.
While Mind Remake Project will continue to focus on mental health education, my author website is where I’ll share updates on my books, works in progress, bonus content, and the ideas that inspire my writing.
Many of my books explore themes that overlap with psychology—including identity, regret, resilience, recovery, and the stories we tell ourselves—but they’ll also include memoir, narrative nonfiction, and projects that don’t necessarily fit within the educational focus of Mind Remake Project.
If you’ve enjoyed my articles here, I think you’ll enjoy what’s coming next.
On my author website, you can:
Learn about current and upcoming books
Download free reader resources
Read exclusive articles and behind-the-scenes updates
Follow my writing journey
Join my mailing list to hear about future releases before anyone else
Writing has become one of the most meaningful parts of my life, and I’m grateful to everyone who has encouraged me along the way. Whether you’ve been following Mind Remake Project for years or you’ve only recently discovered my work, thank you for being part of this journey.
I hope you’ll stop by, explore the site, and join me as this next chapter unfolds.
My current project is tentatively titled, The Lives We Didn’t Live: The Psychology of Regret. I’m looking for personal accounts on regret. Specifically, tell me if you have any regrets and what your biggest regrets are.
The sun was setting over a remote beach, we were out of water, there was no cell service, and walking wasn’t an option.
A few hours earlier, none of that seemed possible. Looking back, I realize this experience taught me more about service than any professional training ever did.
When I think of service, I think of helpers. Not just professionals—nurses, doctors, social workers—but caregivers and everyday Good Samaritans.
Some of the best people I know live in Ecuador. We can’t really speak—I don’t know Spanish, and we stay in touch through Facebook—but that hasn’t changed what they are to me: not just saviors, but lifelong friends.
…
As it happened, my partner and I were traveling in Ecuador and the Galápagos. We were on the island of San Cristóbal and had separated from our group. Not sure how we wanted to spend the day, we decided to go hiking.
There was a trail leading to a beach marked by a small sign warning that it was “advanced.” I brushed it off. In the United States, “advanced” just means it’s not wheelchair accessible. And this was before my stroke. I considered myself more than capable.
At first, it seemed like an easy decision. The path was flat, winding through dense foliage. Sunlight broke through in flashes, catching on the water below. We walked comfortably, unhurried, with the kind of quiet confidence that comes from assuming you know what you’re doing.
Then the path changed.
Abruptly, it turned rocky. The air felt heavier. We were sweating, and it hit us at the same time—we had one half-full bottle of water between us and no sunscreen.
Past the Point of Turning Back
The trail became unstable. I was slipping, catching myself, adjusting with every step. And still, the signposts kept appearing, each one promising the same thing: the next scenic point was just 2 km away. Five minutes.
Five more minutes? Fine. I can do five more minutes.
And the signs kept coming. Each one said we were almost there. Each one was wrong.
We kept going.
I told myself the trail must loop—that once we reached the beach, we wouldn’t have to turn around. That it would all make sense once we got there. Iguana Beach, where black iguanas bob in the waves, felt close enough to justify continuing.
My partner was fine. I wasn’t.
We occasionally stepped aside to let the actual “advanced” hikers pass. In brief exchanges, we learned the truth: the trail wasn’t a loop. We would have to go back the way we came.
I needed water. We hadn’t even had breakfast. Still, I kept going. Stubbornness can look a lot like endurance.
The terrain worsened. Small rocks gave way to boulders we had to climb. The shade disappeared. The sun wasn’t filtering through the trees anymore—it was direct, relentless. I was wearing dark clothes that absorbed the heat. I could feel it on my skin, sharp and constant.
We ran out of water.
And still, at my insistence—out of breath, but pushing—we climbed to the top and reached the beach.
It was breathtaking. The iguanas looked prehistoric, rising and falling with the waves like something ancient and indifferent.
I’m Not Okay
But something was off.
I didn’t feel sick exactly. Just… wrong. Lightheaded. Distant. Sounds felt muted, like I was underwater. My body felt weak in a way that didn’t match the effort.
I told myself I was fine. I knew I wasn’t.
I started thinking ahead—where we could stop, where we could rest. Whether we could stay there until morning. The idea of camping crossed my mind, followed immediately by the reality of it. Insects. Crabs. Terrifying.
“We need to go now or we’re not going to make it before dark,” my partner said.
I could see fear in his eyes.
I tried to pull something from myself—anything. The same stubbornness that got me up the mountain. But there was nothing left to draw from.
Now I felt sick.
My breathing came in short, uneven bursts. My heart pounded in my ears. I felt like I might vomit. I wanted relief—something immediate and physical. A cold shower. A slap to the face. Anything.
Instead, I lay down on a large rock.
I asked my partner to call EMS. No service.
People passed by. Some offered water. Others asked, hesitantly, what we were going to do. Then they kept walking.
The young woman with them offered me a snack, speaking gently, but my mouth was too dry. I couldn’t chew. I had forgotten how to eat in that moment. I could barely respond.
Carrying me didn’t last. The terrain made it impossible. So they adjusted. They positioned me between them and had me wrap my arms over their shoulders.
They half-carried, half-dragged me down the trail. My feet touched the ground occasionally, catching a step when they could. The rest of the time, they moved me.
We reached a large cove—the same one we had passed before.
My partner began speaking with the young men in Spanish. I couldn’t understand the words, but I recognized the tone. Something had changed.
I was right to be alarmed.
Swimming Against the Clock
The plan was simple and terrifying: I would get in the water and swim across with help. At the pace we were moving, the sun would set before we could make it around the cove.
I am about as “advanced” a swimmer as I am a hiker.
They guided me toward the water. I nearly slipped on the rocks on the way down.
On the far side, a group of people turned. A few of the men swam out to us with a boogie board attached to a rope.
I held on as they pulled me through the water toward the dock.
The current was stronger than expected. The distance, longer. Even he couldn’t have made it across.
My partner and the other Samaritans were waiting when we reached the other side. Without me, they had moved quickly.
The sun was setting as we made it back down.
Beyond the Rescue
They stayed with us. Helped us find a taxi. Made sure we were okay before they left.
The water had shocked my system enough to pull me out of the worst of it. Otherwise, it might have progressed to heat stroke. Later, I realized they likely knew exactly what they were doing.
We stayed in touch afterward. One of them coaches a kids’ soccer team. It’s specifically for troubled youth. It almost seemed like fate as my partner and I both work with troubled individuals. We sent a donation, and happily, they were able to get new uniforms.
If they hadn’t been there—at that exact place, at that exact time—the outcome could have been very different.
That experience changed how I think about service. It isn’t limited to professions or titles. It shows up in moments, in decisions, in people who step in without being asked.
For years, I assumed service meant having the right credentials, the right job title, or the right training. But on that day, service looked much simpler. It looked like noticing someone in trouble and deciding not to walk away.
Final Thoughts
What unsettled me most wasn’t the danger. It was how hard it was to accept help.
I’ve built a life around being the helper. Giving feels natural. Receiving feels foreign. I felt embarrassed.
But those strangers did something I don’t always do myself: they helped without hesitation, without recognition, without needing anything in return.
When I had my stroke, what rose to the surface wasn’t my job title or my salary, but my core values. Values are what really mattered and helped me to heal.
One of the first steps to finding your purpose is identifying what matters most to you. A helpful way to do this is by defining your core values. and a great place to start is by asking yourself, “What do I want?” But before you do, let’s define and clarify what values are and compare them to morals and ethics.
Values vs. Morals vs. Ethics
How do we define values, and how do they differ from morals or ethics? And why are they important?
A value is a principle or belief that helps guide your decisions and shape your life. Psychologists Sagiv and Schwartz describe values as broad life goals that guide our actions across situations. In other words, they’re the threads that tie our choices together. Values influence what you see as useful, desirable, or important. Unlike morals, values are ones you consciously choose.
Morals, on the other hand, are often shaped by religion, culture, or society’s expectations about right and wrong. These can vary widely across the world. For example, polygamy is accepted and legal in many Middle Eastern and African countries while in most Western nations it’s considered immoral and illegal. Conversely, same-sex marriage is recognized as moral and legal in much of Western Europe, North America, and parts of Latin America, but remains criminalized and viewed as immoral in some African, Middle Eastern, and Asian countries.
Values and morals can overlap. For instance, you may personally value honesty, which also aligns with a common moral standard that lying, cheating, and stealing are wrong. Think of a value as your personal compass—something you deliberately carry with you to navigate life.
Ethics, in contrast, are more formalized. They are usually written codes or systems of conduct that apply values and morals in structured settings. Ethics often come into play in professions and organizations. In my field we follow the ACA Code of Ethics (American Counseling Association, 2014), which provides a framework for decision-making that protects clients, supports counselors, and upholds the standards of the profession. Similarly, most workplaces maintain their own ethical guidelines or codes of conduct.
Morals = Cultural compass (what society says is right/wrong)
Ethics = Applied compass (how we act when choices get tricky)
Common Mistakes When Identifying Values
Also, when defining your core values, there are a few common pitfalls to watch out for.
First, don’t confuse values with strengths. Here’s the difference: “I’m good at math” is a strength. “I value learning” is a value. One is about what you can do; the other is about what matters to you.
Second, beware of mistaking external validation for values. For example, “I value being admired” isn’t really a value—it’s a craving for approval. It’s fragile, because the moment admiration disappears, so does the sense of meaning.
Third, identifying your authentic values can be challenging because inherited values often feel like your own. That’s why it’s worth asking, “Where did this value come from? Is it genuinely mine, or did I inherit it from my parents, culture, or profession?” (That said, an interesting study indicated that some personal beliefs and morals actually stem from genetics. Researchers in 2019 found that while parents can encourage their children to develop into responsible, conscientious adults, underlying genetic factors also play a role in shaping these traits.)
And fourth, there’s the “should” trap: picking values because they sound noble or expected. Avoid choosing values because they seem admirable or socially acceptable, or that are expected of you rather than values that reflect who you are.
Values are important because they help to define not only how you live, but who you are. Take Nelson Mandela. He chose forgiveness over revenge. After 27 years in prison, Mandela emerged with every reason to cling to anger. Instead, he chose reconciliation as a guiding value, helping dismantle apartheid (a system of legally enforced racial segregation) without plunging South Africa into civil war. Mandela said, “It is in your hands to create a better world for all who live in it.”
Exercise: Find Your Core Values
Following is a list of common values. Read through the values and select your top 10. Next, narrow your list down to five. Repeat this until you’ve narrowed your list to three values. These are your top guiding values in life, your core values. Write your own definition for each core value. This will help to further define what they mean to you. Below is a printable version of the list.
The goal here is start practicing your values instead of just thinking about them. Over the next week, pick one of your core values or any value from your top 10, one that feels relevant now, and find a way to “live your value” by practicing it in everyday situations. First, define what this value looks like. Ask yourself, “What does this value actually look like in my life?” Don’t overwhelm yourself; pick one small, specific action per day. Do it even when you don’t feel like it. At the end of the week, look back and reflect. Do you notice any patterns?
Example: Living a Value
Let’s say one of your core values is kindness.
First, define what kindness means to you. For one person, kindness might mean being patient with others. For another, it might mean offering support when someone is struggling.
Next, choose one small action each day that puts that value into practice:
Monday: Send a text to check on a friend.
Tuesday: Let someone merge into traffic without getting frustrated.
Wednesday: Thank a coworker for something they did well.
Thursday: Listen without interrupting during a conversation.
Friday: Leave a positive review for a local business.
Saturday: Volunteer for an hour or help a neighbor.
Sunday: Practice self-kindness by speaking to yourself as you would a friend.
Notice that none of these actions are dramatic. That’s the point. Values are usually expressed through small, consistent behaviors. The goal isn’t perfection. The goal is alignment—bringing your actions a little closer to what matters most to you.
Final Thoughts on Core Values
Values are not just something you believe. They’re something you do. If a value never shows up in your behavior, it’s not guiding your life. It’s just an idea.
Core values only become real when they influence the choices you make, the habits you build, and the way you treat yourself and others. They reveal themselves not in what you say is important, but in what you consistently prioritize, especially when doing so is difficult or inconvenient.
By now, you should have a clearer sense of what matters to you—not in theory, but in practice. Values aren’t something you identify once and then forget. They require ongoing attention. As life changes, they help you make decisions, navigate uncertainty, and stay aligned with the person you want to become. They serve as a compass, pointing you toward a life that feels authentic and meaningful.
“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
-Mark Twain
Most people think of purpose as a nice bonus in life. Research suggests it’s much more than that.
Purpose Is Good for Your Health
Studies have found that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer and experience lower rates of stroke, heart disease, Alzheimer’s disease, and premature death. They’re also more likely to sleep better, maintain stronger cognitive functioning, and report better overall wellbeing.
Purpose isn’t just about feeling fulfilled. It appears to have a measurable impact on both the quality and length of life.
Research links purpose to reduced substance use. One study found that college students with a stronger sense of purpose reported lower alcohol consumption and fewer cravings. Conversely, a lack of purpose is associated with addiction.
This helps explain why purpose can play such a central role in recovery. Programs like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), for example, don’t just focus on abstinence; they offer connection and a sense of direction. At their core, they give people something to move toward, not just something to avoid. The program is based on one addict helping another.
When drugs or alcohol leave, they take a lot with them—routine, identity, relief, escape… If nothing replaces that, the pull doesn’t go away.
Purpose can fill that space. Not perfectly. Not instantly. But enough to have something to hold onto when everything else feels unstable.
When I stopped using drugs in my early 20s, the absence was immediate. Not just the substances, but everything that came with them. The euphoria, the lifestyle… even the predictability of it. Without those things, there was a gap I didn’t know how to fill. My life was quieter, but not necessarily better yet. I wasn’t waking up with a clear sense of direction or meaning. I was just… not using.
And it turns out that’s not enough.
That’s the part people don’t talk about. Removing something that destructive doesn’t automatically replace what it was doing for you. It leaves space. And if that space isn’t filled with something that holds your attention or gives you direction, it doesn’t stay empty for long.
For a while, I tried to outrun that gap by staying busy. But “busy” isn’t a strategy. It doesn’t give your life direction. What started to change was realizing I needed something to move toward, not just to avoid. That’s where purpose started to matter in a different way.
Treatment helps, but it won’t keep you sober. Meaning might. It gives you something to hold onto when there’s nothing else.
I tell clients this all the time, especially the ones staring down a life without drugs or alcohol and thinking, what now? Long-term recovery isn’t just about removing something. It’s about building something in its place, something that holds your attention, gives you direction, and feels like it’s worth staying for.
That “something” isn’t the same for everyone. For some, it’s the structure and connection found in AA. For others, it’s helping people in similar ways, becoming a counselor, social worker, or advocate. And for many, it’s simpler: building a life that supports recovery through routines, relationships, and habits that make it easier to stay.
Purpose as a Compass
Beyond its health benefits, purpose acts as a kind of compass. It helps you decide what to move toward and what to leave behind. Without it, decisions tend to be reactive and short-term. With it, there is a sense of direction, even when things are unclear.
Purpose also fuels motivation. It gives your effort a point. You are not just pushing through difficulty for the sake of getting by. You are working toward something that matters. That difference is what allows people to stay engaged over time, even when progress is slow or uneven.
Purpose doesn’t just affect how people move through difficulty. It also affects how they experience isolation.
Research has linked purpose to lower levels of loneliness. A 2023 study found that older adults reported more loneliness than younger groups, but those with a stronger sense of purpose were less affected by it. Purpose appeared to provide a form of psychological protection, helping people maintain a sense of connection and direction even when they felt alone.
That finding carries weight. Loneliness is not a minor issue or a passing feeling. It is increasingly recognized as a serious public health concern. In the same year, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy declared loneliness an epidemic, underscoring its widespread impact on both mental and physical health.
Interestingly, people in wealthier countries tend to report higher life satisfaction, while those in poorer nations often report a deeper sense of meaning. One explanation is religiosity, which may shape how meaning is experienced across cultures.
In exploring your own sense of meaning, you may find that spirituality or religious practice becomes part of that picture—but it isn’t the only path.
Purpose Without Perspective
Before you move forward, there’s something important to understand. Even when something feels meaningful, it’s worth pausing.
Purpose can feel powerful, but it isn’t a cure-all—and not all purposes are created equal.
Take wealth, for example. If you’re convinced that getting rich is your purpose, you may end up disappointed. Even if you achieve it, money rarely sustains a sense of meaning on its own.
Worse, chasing the wrong purpose can pull you further away from one that actually fits. You can spend years moving quickly in the wrong direction and miss what might have mattered more.
Some people invest a significant amount of time and energy into their appearance. There’s nothing inherently wrong with wanting to look attractive. It can build confidence and, in many contexts, it’s rewarded.
But for some, it becomes something else. It shifts from self-expression to self-definition—where appearance starts to determine self-worth.
Social media amplifies this dynamic. It creates constant exposure to curated images, filtered realities, and narrow standards of beauty. Attention becomes measurable—likes, comments, followers—reinforcing the idea that attractiveness equals value.
Over time, this can pull people into a cycle of comparison and validation-seeking. The focus shifts from “Do I like how I look?” to “How do I measure up?” and “How am I being perceived?”
The problem isn’t appearance itself. It’s when appearance becomes the primary source of meaning. It’s difficult to sustain on its own—and it often leaves people feeling like they’re never quite enough.
Building a Purpose That Lasts
The path to meaningful purpose isn’t a single step but a threefold process. It begins with honest self-reflection — the willingness to look at your life without filters or excuses. From there, it requires clarity about what truly matters to you, the values and commitments that make your life feel worthwhile. Finally, it calls for a realistic awareness of both your strengths and your limitations. Finding meaning isn’t about ignoring what you can’t do; it’s about building a life that fits the full truth of who you are. Put together, these three elements form the groundwork for a purpose that is not only authentic but also sustainable.
To start defining your purpose in life, see below for a free worksheet download.
What is alcohol? Alcohol is a small, simple molecule that moves quickly through almost every part of the body once it’s consumed. Shortly after consumption, alcohol levels increase in the brain, and signs of intoxication follow.
Your Brain on Alcohol
Alcohol slows brain activity by increasing the effects of GABA, the brain’s primary inhibitory neurotransmitter, while reducing glutamate, its main excitatory signal.
Glutamate helps activate the brain, while GABA helps calm it down.The two work together to keep brain activity balanced. When excitatory signals become too strong, inhibitory signals help bring things back under control.
Alcohol disrupts this balance by enhancing the calming effects and dampening the activating ones, which is why thinking, coordination, and reaction time are affected.
This combination can impair prefrontal cortex function within minutes of drinking. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for judgment, self-control, and decision-making—is especially affected by alcohol. As alcohol increases calming signals in this area, it essentially quiets the brain’s control center, which is why people often make choices while drinking that they wouldn’t make sober.
At the same time, alcohol overstimulates the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine, reinforcing the urge to keep drinking. Over time, this makes everyday pleasures feel less satisfying by comparison.
The brain uses chemicals called neuromodulators. Unlike neurotransmitters, which send direct signals, neuromodulators adjust how those signals work—amplifying or dampening activity across larger brain systems.
Alcohol doesn’t just affect one pathway. It interacts with multiple systems at once, including those involved in mood, reward, stress, and relaxation. That’s part of what makes it so powerful—and so appealing.
Depending on the person and the moment, alcohol can feel like it’s doing different things: energizing you, calming you down, easing anxiety, or even changing how you perceive other people (including their attractiveness).
It can feel like more than one effect at once. But it’s still one substance acting on multiple systems in the brain.
Although alcohol is classified as a central nervous system depressant, it can feel stimulating at lower doses. Early effects may include increased heart rate and a sense of energy or alertness as inhibitory controls are reduced.
As it is absorbed and enters the brain, alcohol slows the central nervous system, which can feel like reduced anxiety, a lift in mood, and fewer inhibitions. At higher levels, alcohol leads to intoxication—slowed movement, poor coordination, slurred speech, and in extreme cases, stupor or coma. Alcohol disrupts how the brain communicates with itself.
Alcohol also affects the cerebellum, the part of the brain responsible for balance and coordination. Even small amounts can lead to slurred speech, blurred vision, slower reaction times, and impaired hand-eye coordination, increasing the risk of accidents and injury. It affects areas responsible for balance, memory, speech, and judgment, which is why injuries and poor decisions become more likely.
Over time, heavy drinking can actually change the brain, including shrinking the size of its cells. Chronic alcohol use is associated with reduced volume in the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus, compromising neural systems involved in executive functioning, impulse regulation, and memory consolidation.
Alcohol-related changes in the prefrontal cortex can worsen difficulties with stress regulation and emotional processing. Gradually, these changes may show up as patterns of behavior that are often mistaken for personality traits rather than effects on the brain.
Eventually, heavy drinking can physically change the brain, especially in areas responsible for judgment and memory. Brain scans show reduced gray matter in these regions, and the longer and heavier the drinking, the more pronounced the damage tends to be.
The hippocampus is affected in much the same way. This part of the brain helps turn experiences into long-term memories and supports navigation. With long-term alcohol use, it can shrink, making memory and learning more difficult.
Blackouts
Alcohol doesn’t just slow the brain down—it interferes with memory and learning. Glutamate helps the brain form new connections and store memories. When alcohol suppresses it, the brain has a harder time learning from what’s happening in the moment.
Alcohol-related memory gaps, or “blackouts” are not simply instances of forgetting, but periods in which memory encoding is disrupted. During these times, hippocampal functioning is impaired, preventing the formation of new memories. This is why individuals may recall part of an interaction but have no memory of how it concluded.
Alcohol in Your Body
Alcohol begins entering the bloodstream almost immediately. A small amount is absorbed through the mouth and esophagus, with additional absorption occurring in the stomach. From there, it moves into the bloodstream, where blood alcohol concentration (BAC) is measured.
BAC is expressed as a percentage. A BAC of 0.10% means there is one part alcohol for every 1,000 parts of blood.
Several factors influence how quickly BAC rises and how strongly alcohol affects you.
Body size plays a role. The more you weigh, the greater your blood volume, which can dilute alcohol and slow the rise in BAC. Body composition matters as well. Alcohol dissolves more easily in water than in fat, so individuals with a higher percentage of body fat tend to reach higher BAC levels more quickly.
Age also has an impact. As the body ages, alcohol is metabolized more slowly, which can lead to higher levels of alcohol remaining in the bloodstream. Physical health is another factor. Conditions that affect digestion can increase how quickly alcohol is absorbed.
What you eat—and what you mix alcohol with—matters. Food slows things down, keeping alcohol in the stomach longer so it enters the bloodstream more gradually. Carbonated drinks do the opposite. They speed up how quickly alcohol moves into the small intestine, where it’s absorbed faster, leading to a quicker and stronger effect.
Your emotional state even influences how alcohol affects you. When you’re acutely stressed, anxious, or fearful, the body shifts into a fight-or-flight response. Blood flow is redirected away from the digestive system, which can slow alcohol absorption. Chronic stress, however, has a different effect. Over time, it can disrupt digestive functioning, which may lead to faster absorption and stronger effects.
Gender differences also play a significant role in how alcohol is processed. Women don’t process alcohol as well, leading to increased health risks.
Alcohol is eliminated through the liver. A healthy liver can process approximately 0.5 ounces of pure alcohol per hour, which is about one drink (12 ounces of beer, 5 ounces of wine, or 1.5 ounces of liquor). The rest of the alcohol circulates through your bloodstream until the liver is ready to process it.
The liver breaks down alcohol through different pathways.
Most of the alcohol you drink is metabolized through the alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH) pathway, which occurs primarily in the liver and involves two main steps.
First, alcohol is converted into acetaldehyde by the enzyme alcohol dehydrogenase (ADH), with the help of NAD⁺ (nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide), a coenzyme derived from B vitamins. During this step, hydrogen atoms are removed from the alcohol molecule, forming acetaldehyde—a highly toxic compound that contributes to many of alcohol’s harmful effects.
Next, acetaldehyde is rapidly converted into acetate by another enzyme, aldehyde dehydrogenase (ALDH). This step also uses NAD⁺ and helps reduce the buildup of acetaldehyde in the body.
Acetate is then further broken down into carbon dioxide and water. Unlike the earlier steps, this final stage can occur in many tissues throughout the body, not just in the liver.
NAD⁺ plays a critical role in both steps of alcohol metabolism. As alcohol is processed, NAD⁺ is converted into NADH. When NADH accumulates, it disrupts the body’s normal metabolic balance. This shift can contribute to low blood sugar, increased fat production in the liver, and elevated uric acid levels, which may increase the risk of conditions like gout.
Although the MEOS (microsomal ethanol oxidizing system) is considered a secondary pathway for metabolizing alcohol, it becomes increasingly important with repeated or heavy drinking.
Unlike the primary pathway, the MEOS system becomes more active over time. As it ramps up, the body is able to break down alcohol more quickly. This contributes to tolerance, meaning a person can drink more and feel less of the effects.
This can be misleading. It may feel like the body is “handling alcohol better,” when in reality, it’s adapting in a way that often leads to increased consumption and greater long-term harm.
The MEOS pathway also produces toxic byproducts and places additional stress on the liver, which helps explain why heavy drinking can accelerate physical damage even as subjective effects seem to decrease.
Alcohol Poisoning
Alcohol poisoning or overdose happens when there’s so much alcohol in the bloodstream that the brain starts to shut down the systems that keep you alive—breathing, heart rate, and body temperature.
Signs include confusion, trouble staying awake, vomiting, seizures, slow or irregular breathing, a slow pulse, cold or clammy skin, and a loss of the gag reflex, which increases the risk of choking. Body temperature can also drop dangerously low.
This is a medical emergency. Without immediate help, alcohol overdose can cause permanent brain damage or death.
Higher blood alcohol concentration (BAC) levels are associated with more severe effects.
At 0.20–0.29%, people may experience confusion, vomiting, and blackouts. At 0.30–0.39%, there is a high risk of unconsciousness and dangerously slowed or suppressed breathing. At 0.40% and above, the risk of death becomes extremely high due to respiratory failure.
Conclusion
Alcohol is often marketed as a way to relax, celebrate, connect, or escape, but beneath those experiences is a drug that profoundly alters the brain and body. Its effects can feel pleasant in the moment, which is precisely why it can be so difficult to recognize the harm it causes.
Understanding how alcohol works is not about fear or judgment. It’s about clarity. The more we understand what alcohol actually does—from disrupting memory and decision-making to reshaping the brain over time—the better equipped we are to make informed choices about our relationship with it. Whether you drink occasionally, struggle with alcohol, or are simply curious, knowledge provides a foundation for understanding both the appeal of alcohol and the risks that often accompany it.
References
Ketcham, K., & Asbury, W. (2003). Beyond the influence: Understanding and defeating alcoholism. Bantam.
Nutt, D. (2020). Drink?: The new science of alcohol and your health. Yellow Kite.
Porter, W. (2015). Alcohol explained. Alcohol Explained Ltd.
A person can deeply want recovery and still feel confused by their own behavior. They may wonder why they keep failing even though they truly want to change.
In my work with clients, I often find that relapse makes more sense when we slow down what happened hours and days before the final behavior. What looked like a sudden failure often had warning signs that were building earlier.
Why trying harder often breaks down
Relapse is often described as a process, not a single event, and many relapse prevention models describe the three stages of relapse as emotional, mental, and physical.
Willpower often fails because it focuses too much on the final moment, when the person is already overwhelmed, craving, or close to acting on an old pattern. This is one reason it can be helpful to move beyond common misconceptions about addiction and look more closely at how relapse actually builds.
A downloadable handout at the end of this article walks through the three stages of relapse and offers practical steps for what to do in each stage.
How Relapse Builds Over Time
One helpful way to understand relapse is to look at the timeline leading up to it.
Relying on willpower only at the moment of physical relapse can be like waiting to hit the brakes when the car is already speeding towards the edge of the cliff. The three-stage framework helps people notice when the car is drifting earlier, while there is still more room to correct course.
This does not remove responsibility, but it can reduce shame. When someone sees the chain of events more clearly, they can also begin to see where the pattern could be interrupted earlier next time.
Emotional Relapse: Becoming More Vulnerable
Emotional relapse can be confusing because the person may not be thinking about using at all.
They may still want recovery, but emotionally, something has started to shift. Stress is building, shame is getting louder, and the person may be pulling away from support or pretending they are doing better than they are.
This is like the warning light on the dashboard. Something may not be broken yet, but it needs attention before the problem gets worse.
In my work with clients, this is often the stage that gets missed. Someone may say, “I was doing fine, and then I just gave in,” but when we slow the story down, it often becomes clear they had not been doing fine for several days.
Signs that stress is building Emotional relapse can look like:
feeling stressed or at capacity
pulling away from support
sleeping poorly
becoming irritable or resentful
neglecting basic self-care
When you notice this stage happening, it can help to label it clearly: “I am in emotional relapse.”
This is not the time to panic, but it is a time to become more cautious and honest with yourself. It means you are in a more vulnerable state, and your addiction may have more pull than usual over the next few days.
This stage matters because there is often more room to intervene. The person may not need an emergency plan yet, but they may need rest, support, or a way to name what they are feeling before the urge for escape gets stronger.
Mental Relapse: When the Bargaining Starts
Mental relapse is the stage where the person starts looking for a way back to the old behavior.
They may still care about recovery, but their thoughts are starting to move toward permission, relief, or escape.
This is where the car starts drifting toward the shoulder. The person has not relapsed yet, but their thoughts are beginning to pull them closer to the old pattern.
When thoughts start giving permission Mental relapse can sound like:
“Maybe just once.”
“I can handle it now.”
“I deserve some relief.”
“ I already failed, so what’s the point?”
In my work with clients, this is often where shame and stress start turning into permission. The person is not only having an urge; they are beginning to build a case for why the urge makes sense.
This is where the window starts to narrow. The old behavior may begin to feel more reasonable, more comforting, or more deserved. This is when the alarm bells should start going off in your head.
For many people, this bargaining can happen hours or even minutes before returning to the addiction. This is a strong sign that the relapse process is moving forward unless something changes.
This is the time to slow down and interrupt the pattern. That may mean avoiding people, places, or situations that give you easy access to the addiction. It may also be the best time to ask for help from your support systems and to make your healthy coping systems a priority for the day.
Physical Relapse: Why the Final Moment Is Not the Whole Story
Physical relapse is the stage where the person actually returns to the substance or addictive behavior.
This may be using the drug, opening the website, or doing the behavior they were trying to stop.
This is the edge-of-the-cliff moment. The behavior is happening or about to happen, so the plan needs to be simple, immediate, and concrete.
When the window is smaller
DBT distress tolerance skills can still help here, but the window is often small. This may mean leaving the room, calling someone, removing access, delaying for ten minutes, or doing anything that helps the person get through the next few minutes without making the situation worse.
Physical relapse also shows why earlier stages matter. If someone only makes a plan for the final moment, they may be waiting until the hardest possible time to intervene.
How DBT Skills Help People Catch the Process Earlier
DBT skills can be useful in addiction recovery because they give people something more specific than “try harder.”
Matching the skill to the stage
Instead of waiting until the final moment and hoping willpower shows up, DBT helps people ask, “What stage am I in, and what skill fits this moment?”
DBT skills can give people concrete ways to manage emotional intensity, tolerate urges, reach out for support, change the environment, or get through the next few minutes without making the situation worse.
This is also why many approaches to substance use treatment focus on coping skills, support systems, emotional regulation, and relapse prevention planning rather than motivation alone.
The point is not that DBT makes recovery easy. The point is that skills give the person more places to intervene before the pattern becomes harder to stop.
Recovery Is Easier to Protect Earlier Than Later
Relapse prevention is not only about what someone does in the final moment before using or acting out.
It is also about noticing earlier warning signs, such as poor sleep, isolation, shame, bargaining, or secrecy, before the situation becomes more urgent.
Willpower may help someone commit to recovery, but skills help them practice recovery when it gets hard.
A better question after relapse
Instead of asking only, “Why wasn’t I strong enough?” a more useful question may be, “Where did this process start, and what can I do earlier next time?”
For readers who want more perspectives on addiction and recovery, stories and psychoeducation can help reduce shame and make the recovery process feel less isolating.
The downloadable handout included here can help you map your own emotional, mental, and physical relapse warning signs and choose a next step for each stage.
What’s been happening in the world of addiction and mental health?
While most of us have been distracted by the nonstop noise cycle, science hasn’t stopped. Research is still moving forward. Studies are still being conducted. Progress, while slower than we’d like, is still happening.
This piece highlights some of the more recent developments in substance use and mental health. It’s not meant to be comprehensive, but it is meant to shift your attention.
Because while it may feel like everything is unraveling, there are still people doing the work. Quietly. Consistently. Looking for better ways to understand addiction, improve treatment, and move outcomes forward.
Turn off the news for a few minutes. Mental health research 2026 is worth paying attention to.
Mental Health Research 2026
Aging Without Decline: Insights from SuperAgers
A rare group of adults over 80, known as “SuperAgers,” are challenging long-held assumptions about cognitive decline.
With memory performance comparable to individuals decades younger, their brains appear to either resist or compensate for the changes typically associated with Alzheimer’s disease. Decades of research suggest that this isn’t random.
SuperAgers tend to share specific characteristics, including strong social engagement and distinct neurobiological features that may help preserve brain function.
Researchers are paying close attention. Understanding what sets these individuals apart could inform new approaches to slowing, delaying, or even preventing dementia.
Citation: Northwestern University. (2026, April 23). These 80-year-olds have the memory of 50-year-olds. Scientists now know why. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/04/260423022006.htm
When Mental Clarity Boosts Productivity—Until It Doesn’t
Feeling mentally “on” isn’t just subjective. It has measurable effects on what you get done. Research shows that on days when thinking is sharper, people tend to set more ambitious goals and are more likely to follow through. That cognitive edge can translate into roughly 40 additional minutes of productive time.
There’s a limit, though. Sustained overexertion erodes that advantage, and performance begins to decline.
Extra virgin olive oil may support brain health through its effects on the gut. In a two-year study, individuals who consumed extra virgin olive oil showed better cognitive performance and greater gut microbiome diversity compared to those using refined olive oil. Researchers also identified specific microbial patterns associated with these benefits.
These findings suggest that higher-quality olive oil may be a simple, accessible way to support cognitive function over time.
Citation: Universitat Rovira i Virgili. (2026, April 18). Scientists say this type of olive oil could boost brain power. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/04/260417224527.htm
Artificial Neurons Move Closer to Brain Integration
Engineers at Northwestern University have advanced efforts to interface machines with the human brain by developing printed artificial neurons capable of communicating with biological ones. These flexible, low-cost devices generate lifelike electrical signals that can activate living brain cells, a capability demonstrated in mouse brain tissue.
This work represents a meaningful step toward more seamless integration between electronic systems and neural circuits, with potential implications for neuroprosthetics and brain repair.
Medicinal Cannabis and Mental Health: What the Evidence Shows
The largest review of medicinal cannabis to date found little evidence that it effectively treats anxiety, depression, or PTSD, despite widespread use for these conditions. Researchers also raised concerns that cannabis may worsen mental health in some cases, with potential risks including psychosis, substance dependence, and delays in accessing evidence-based care.
Some limited benefits were observed for conditions such as insomnia and autism, though the supporting evidence remains weak and inconsistent. These findings are prompting increased calls for tighter regulation and more rigorous research as cannabis use continues to expand.
Vagus Nerve Stimulation Shows Lasting Effects in Treatment-Resistant Depression
Researchers report that vagus nerve stimulation (VNS) may offer sustained relief for individuals with long-standing, treatment-resistant depression. Many participants in the study had lived with depression for decades and had exhausted multiple treatment options.
Those who showed improvement after one year were highly likely to maintain or even build on those gains over at least two years. Notably, some individuals who did not respond initially experienced meaningful improvement with continued treatment.
These findings suggest that VNS may provide a durable, longer-term option for individuals who have not benefited from conventional interventions.
Citation: WashU Medicine. (2026, January 20). Patients tried everything for depression then this implant changed their lives. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/01/260120000328.htm
Intensive Meditation Produces Whole-Body Changes
A single week of intensive meditation and mind-body practices was associated with measurable changes in both brain and body function. Researchers observed improved neural efficiency, enhanced immune signaling, and increases in endogenous compounds linked to pain regulation.
The intervention was also associated with markers of neuroplasticity, including signs of neuron growth and strengthened connectivity across brain networks. Notably, some of the observed brain activity patterns resembled those reported in psychedelic states, despite the absence of any pharmacological intervention.
Scientists are investigating a new approach to capture the therapeutic potential of psychedelic compounds while minimizing their psychoactive effects. Researchers have developed modified versions of psilocin—the active metabolite of psilocybin—that continue to act on serotonin pathways implicated in depression and other neuropsychiatric conditions.
Early findings suggest these compounds may retain antidepressant-relevant mechanisms while producing substantially fewer psychedelic-like effects, raising the possibility of more accessible and tolerable treatment options.
Citation: American Chemical Society. (2026, March 8). A new “magic mushroom” drug could treat depression without psychedelic hallucinations. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/03/260307213232.htm
Scientists have developed a gene therapy designed to reduce pain at its source in the brain without the addictive risks associated with opioids. Using AI-driven mapping of pain-processing pathways, researchers created a targeted mechanism that suppresses pain signaling while preserving normal sensory function.
In early studies, the approach produced sustained pain relief without the side effects typically seen with opioid use. If replicated in larger trials, this strategy could represent a significant step toward safer, non-addictive pain management.
Citation: University of Pennsylvania School of Medicine. (2026, March 28). This new therapy turns off pain without opioids or addiction. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2026/03/260328043558.htm
Cocaine Addiction and Lasting Brain Changes
Cocaine addiction is not simply a matter of willpower. It reflects persistent biological changes in the brain. Researchers at Michigan State University found that repeated cocaine use alters communication between the brain’s reward circuitry and the hippocampus, a region central to memory and learning.
A key mechanism involves the accumulation of the protein DeltaFosB, which acts as a molecular switch. As levels increase with continued drug exposure, it changes gene expression in neurons, reinforcing drug-seeking behavior and making cravings more entrenched over time.
These findings further support the view of addiction as a neurobiological disorder shaped by durable changes in brain function.
GLP-1 Drugs Show Promise in Reducing Addictive Behaviors
GLP-1 receptor agonists, originally developed for diabetes and obesity, may also influence addictive behaviors by acting on the brain’s reward circuitry. Early studies suggest these medications are associated with reductions in alcohol use, opioid seeking, and nicotine consumption.
Although the evidence is still emerging, researchers believe GLP-1–based treatments could represent a novel approach in addiction care by targeting underlying neurobiological mechanisms rather than behavior alone.
Citation: The Endocrine Society. (2025, October 26). Weight-loss drugs like Ozempic may also curb drug and alcohol addiction. ScienceDaily. Retrieved April 24, 2026 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2025/10/251026021746.htm
Exercise as a Potent Intervention for Depression and Anxiety
A large-scale review of global research indicates that exercise—particularly aerobic activities such as running, swimming, and dancing—can significantly reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety. Across diverse populations ranging from adolescents to older adults, physical activity was consistently associated with meaningful improvements in mental health.
In some cases, the effects were comparable to, or exceeded, those of medication and psychotherapy. These findings highlight exercise as a powerful, accessible intervention that can play a central role in mental health treatment.
Despite the constant noise, mental health research 2026 shows that addiction and mental health science is steadily advancing. New findings are refining how we understand the brain, challenging assumptions (like cannabis as treatment), and expanding options—from exercise and meditation to emerging interventions like VNS, GLP-1 drugs, and gene therapy. Together, this work points to a more precise, biologically grounded, and increasingly hopeful future for treatment and recovery.
After months of writing, editing (not always well), second-guessing myself, and one too many late nights, Happy AF (And Flourishing) is officially live.
This is a book that’s meant to be used, not sit on a shelf, even (perhaps especially) when you’re feeling exhausted, burned out, or skeptical about happiness as a whole.
What makes Happy AF different?
No long chapters; instead, you’ll find short daily practices with suggestions on ways to complete them and helpful tools.
No toxic positivity or BS: clear “Why it works” explanations (scientific research to back up the practices).
Designed for helpers, educators, overthinkers, and people who want something practical without being preachy or for anyone who wants a little more happiness in their life.
Flexible enough for clinicians to use on their own or with clients/patients.
Just to be clear, despite the title, this book contains zero profanity. (No actual curse words were used in the making of this book.)
Companion page with free tools
To make it even more user-friendly, I created a companion page with printable tools, sample pages, downloads, and updates that expand on the book.
If you’ve already picked up my book, thank you, truly. If you’re still deciding, the companion page will give you a good feel for whether it’s right for you.
If this book or the companion resources help even a little, reviews and shares make a bigger difference than you might realize.
What’s coming next?
A companion journal is in the works. If you’re actually using the book, this guided journal is for you.
I promise it’s just as helpful, engaging, poorly edited, and steeped in science as the book. Be the first to know when it goes live by subscribing (to your right) or checking the companion page regularly. (I recommend bookmarking it!)
