Top 40 Most Disturbing Mental Health Posts on Quora

What questions are people asking about mental health? Quora posts indicate that misconceptions and myths related to mental illness and addiction prevail. Read the top 40 most unsettling questions on Quora.com.

By Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

I conducted a Facebook poll to ask about knowledge of mental health. A majority of the respondents (83%) viewed themselves as “very or quite knowledgeable.” Only 17% of those polled reported having little (or no) knowledge.

However, it’s unlikely that my small sample size is representative of the general population. There are many common myths out there about mental health and addiction.

I turned to Quora (an online platform for asking questions) to see what individuals who view themselves as less informed may be asking about mental illness. What I found ranged from thought-provoking to comical to disturbing.

Continue reading for 40 of the most unsettling inquiries I came across. The following Quora question posts illustrate some of the misconceptions surrounding mental disorders.

1. “Is mental illness really an illness?”

2. “Is mental illness catchable?”

3. “Do people with mental disorders have friends?”

4. “Are people who self-harm just looking for attention?”

5. “Is drug addiction really just a lack of willpower?”

6. “Can a person be intelligent and a drug addict?”

7. “Should drug addicts be left to die?”

8. “Why can’t drug addicts just stop? What compels a person to continue with a destructive behavior despite the obvious problems their behavior causes?” (Note: Addiction is a brain disease, which is why someone struggling with substance abuse can’t “just stop.”)

9. “Why should one feel sorry or sympathetic for drug addicts, given most of them chose this life?”

10. “Instead of ‘rescuing’ drug addicts who have overdosed, wouldn’t society as a whole benefit from just letting nature take its course?” (If that was the case, shouldn’t we then withhold all types of medical treatment and preventative or life-saving measures… to allow nature to take its course?)

11. “Is there any country in the world that won in the war against drugs by killing the users or the drug addicts?”

12. “Why should we lament drug addicted celebrities dying of drug-related causes? It’s their fault for starting a drug habit.”

13. “Why save drug addicts from overdosing? From my experience they were problems for their families, a drain on society from their teen years, and won’t get better once addicted.” (All diseases are a drain on society to an extent; that doesn’t mean lives aren’t worth saving.)

14. “How do you differentiate between drug addicts and real homeless people when giving money?” (You don’t; find other ways to help.)

15. “What are the best ways to punish an alcoholic?”

16. “Don’t you think it’s time we stop spreading the myth that alcoholism is a disease? You can’t catch it from anyone. One chooses to drink alcohol.”

17. “Why do people who are oppressed/abused never defend themselves and have pride?”

18. “Why don’t I have empathy for people who end up in abusive or unhealthy relationships? I feel that they deserve it for being such a poor judge of character.”

19. “Why do most women put up with domestic violence?” (Most women?? “Put up”??)

20. “Are schizophrenics aware they’re crazy?”

21. “Are schizophrenic people allowed to drive?”

22. “Do people who become schizophrenic become that way because they are morally conflicted?”

23. “Are schizophrenics able to learn?”

24. “Can a schizophrenic be coherent enough to answer a question like ‘What is life like with schizophrenia?’ on Quora?”

25. “Can one ‘catch’ schizophrenia by hanging out too long with schizophrenics?”

26. “Can schizophrenics have normal sex?” (Yes, or kinky, whichever they prefer)

27. “Why do people ignore the positive impact spanking has on raising children?” (See #28)

28. “Is being spoiled as a child a cause of mental illness such as depression?” (No, but spanking is linked to mental disorders and addiction in adulthood.)

29. “Should mentally ill people be allowed to reproduce?”

30. “Should people with mental illness be allowed to vote?”

31. “Are we breeding weakness into the gene pool by treating and allowing people with physical and mental illnesses to procreate?”

32. “Why are we allowing mental illnesses of sexual orientation disturbance and gender identity disorder that were changed for political reasons, to be accepted like race?”

33. “Why do some people with mental illness refuse to work and live off the government when they are perfectly capable of working?”

34. “Why are mentally disturbed women allowed to have children?”

35. “I feel no sympathy for the homeless because I feel like it is their own fault. Are there examples of seemingly “normal” and respectable people becoming homeless?”

36. “How is poverty not a choice? At what point does an individual stop blaming their parents/society/the government and take responsibility for their own life?” (White privilege at its finest)

37. “Why are mental disorders so common nowadays? Is it just an “excuse” to do bad or selfish things?”

38. “Are most ‘crazy’ people really just suffering from a low IQ?”

39. “Why do some people have sympathy for those who commit suicide? It is very cowardly and selfish to take your life.”

40. “Is suicide part of the world’s survival of the fittest theory?”

Please leave your thoughts/feedback in a comment!

Why Language Matters: 4 Words/Phrases to Stop Saying

Words have power. They are impactful. They can contribute to stigma and divide humanity. To help fight stigma, change your language.

By Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

Have you ever been called a bitch? A creep? A whore? An idiot? Maybe someone said you were lazy or worthless or stupid. Words can hurt. They have power. (Consider the power of your name spoken aloud… you immediately respond by answering or turning your head… the sound commands your attention and response.)

Furthermore, words are impactful… not only for the person being labeled, but for an entire group of people. They contribute to stigma while fueling biases. They divide humanity. Retard. White trash. Crazy. Junkie. Nigger. Slut. Spic.

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A while back, a colleague made a racial slur in my presence. He seemed unaware, so I gently corrected him; he immediately lashed back, calling me the “PC Police.” Not only did this person perceive the slur as perfectly acceptable, he seemed to have a negative perception of “political correctness.” It was a joke to him: “People need to stop being so sensitive!” (Um, no… maybe people need to stop being degrading to each other!)

Honestly, I have trouble understanding the negativity surrounding political correctness. Why strive for anything other than accuracy? (Especially knowing the power language holds.)

stigma

If you side against ignorance and want to end the stigma associated with mental illness, change your language. The following words or phrases contribute to stigma:

“Addict”

There are many negative connotations surrounding this word. Similarly, “alcoholic” can be demeaning. A person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol has a medical condition. Instead of calling them an addict (or junkie or tweaker or crackhead), say “individual with a substance use disorder.” Demonstrate the same empathy you would for a person who has cancer or MS or paralysis.

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“Schizophrenic”

Don’t label a person who suffers from mental illness. They are more than the disorder they’re afflicted with. Calling someone “schizophrenic” or “borderline” or “bipolar” reduces them to an illness, not a person. It’s dehumanizing.

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“Retarded”

True, “mental retardation” used to be the diagnostic terminology for classifying individuals with lower IQs. Today, however, it’s mostly used as an insult. The American Psychiatric Association has eliminated the term as a classification; the correct term is “intellectual disability.”

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“Committed suicide”

This phrase suggests that the person who dies by suicide is criminal. Criminals commit crimes. An individual who dies by suicide should not be placed in the same category. Instead, say “died by suicide.” This demonstrates respect for both the individual and their loved ones.

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Words have the power to influence and shape the world. You have power. Be a positive influence and choose to fight stigma instead of contributing to the toxicity.

 

#JunkieLivesDontMatter

A person who struggles with a substance use disorder is choosing that life. Why interfere? (Especially when all that money could be spent saving more DESERVING lives.) “Junkies” don’t deserve second chances because #JunkieLivesDontMatter

By Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

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Disclaimer: If you happen to believe that addiction is a choice – “They’d quit if they really wanted to” or “They made the choice to use; they made the choice to die” – then scroll on to the next blog. You’d only scoff at this post because #JunkieLivesDontMatter

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This blog post is inspired, in part, by a Facebook meme.

The meme said,

“So if a kid has an allergic reaction the parents have to pay a ridiculous price for an Epi pen. But a junkie who has OD’d for their 15th time gets Narcan for free? What a screwed up world we live in.”

Implications: “Junkies” don’t deserve a second chance at life. They’re a waste of resources because they lack the willpower to stop using. A person who struggles with a substance use disorder is choosing that life. Why interfere? (Especially when all that money could be spent saving more deserving lives.)

If you believe it’s screwed up for a “junkie” to have a chance at life (and recovery) because they “chose addiction,” your opinion is contrary to the National Institute of Health, the American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, and decades of scientific research. You’re either ignorant (maybe willfully so) or impressively arrogant. (Alternately, you could just be a jerk.) You’re a part of the movement: #JunkieLivesDontMatter

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Many have joined the movement, as evidenced by the following Facebook posts:

“Out of all of the houses, 2 hobos decided to overdose on my front steps… thank god the medics got here in time to ensure they could die another day…”

“I think we had less ODs before Narcan came on board. They realize they can be saved if gotten to in time. Maybe they need to be locked up & not let out until they attend rehab while in jail.”

“If it can be easily established that they have a recent history of drug [abuse]… then yes… withhold the lifesaving drug because they chose this. It’s harsh, but justice is not served by saving them.”

“If you don’t have it figured [out] by the 3rd overdose, you are just prolonging the inevitable and wasting tax payers money.”

“If we are repeatedly saving your life and you are not willing to change this behavior, why should we be obligated to keep saving you?”

“My personal opinion is we can’t keep letting people overdose and saving them just so they can repeat the cycle.”

“By continuously administering Narcan, sure, we’re saving their life, but are they really living? I don’t think so.”

#JunkieLivesDontMatter

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“No CPR for You, Fatty — You Chose Soda and Fast Food… Now Suffer the Consequences!”

According the the American Psychiatric Association,

Addiction is a complex condition, a brain disease that is manifested by compulsive substance use despite harmful consequence. People with addiction (severe substance use disorder) have an intense focus on using a certain substance(s), such as alcohol or drugs, to the point that it takes over their life. They keep using alcohol or a drug even when they know it will cause problems.

Addiction is a scientifically proven brain disease. Despite this, many persist in the belief that it’s a choice, or worse… a moral failing. (Note: This notion comes from an early model of addiction, “the moral model,” which was deeply rooted in religion. Addiction was attributed to a sinful nature and weakness of character. Therefore, the addict must repent… or suffer the consequences of his/her actions; addiction warranted punishment, not empathy. Unsurprisingly, this created stigma. It also prevented those struggling with addiction from seeking treatment. Centuries later, many hold on to the view that an individual suffering from a substance use disorder is lazy or weak.)

Today, in the midst of the opioid epidemic, stigma’s unrelenting grip perseveres. Stigma is a poison; it’s dehumanizing. It’s easy to forget a person is a person when you view them as garbage, trash… a “junkie.” Stigma tells us, “Take out the trash.”

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To fully recognize stigma’s impact, compare addiction to other diseases. Consider common medical emergencies; many are related to lifestyle. Imagine being hospitalized after your third stroke, and the doctor telling you, “This is the third time I’ve saved your life, yet you refuse to exercise. I shouldn’t be obligated to continue to provide life-saving care.” Or, imagine a long-time smoker who develops lung cancer; they’re not demeaned, called names, or denied treatment. Moreover, an EMS worker wouldn’t withhold CPR from an individual in cardiac arrest if they were obese. It’s not a debate.

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If You’re Dead, You Have a 0% Chance of Recovery

We’re in the midst of an epidemic.

According to the CDC, 115 Americans die from an opioid overdose every day.

In 2016, over 42,000 individuals died from opioid overdose.

Life expectancy in America is actually declining due to an increase in fatal overdoses.

Narcan does not enable addiction. It enables life. (A dead addict can’t recover.)

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#Recovery #Empathy #FightStigma #EndTheEpedemic #SaveALife


If you live in Fairfax County, sign up for a free REVIVE! Training!

Mental Health, Wellness, and Personal Development Blogs to Follow

A list of 30+ mental health, wellness, and personal development blogs

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

blogs to follow

Creating Mind ReMake Project opened my eyes to a whole world of blogs! There are tons of informative and thought-provoking blog sites out there that share my “niche.” This post lists a variety of blogs related to mental health, wellness, and personal development.

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  1. ACA Counseling Corner Blog

“Thoughtful ideas, suggestions, and strategies for helping you to live a happier and healthier life”

 

  1. Aim Hypnotherapy Blog

Therapist and blogger Aigin Larki blogs about anxiety, addiction, stress, and other mental health topics

 

  1. Anxiety Free World

A blog about coping with anxiety

 

  1. Beyond Meds

Award-winning blog written by ex-patient and mental health professional, Monica Cassani, on topics related to psychotropic meds and mental health

 

  1. Blue Light Blue

Amy McDowell Marlow, a 22-year survivor of suicide loss who lives with mental illness (bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder), blogs about living with mental illness

 

  1. Brave Over Perfect

Dr. Christine Carter and Susie Rinehart write about personal growth topics

 

  1. Brené Brown Blog

Personal growth and development blog

 

  1. David’s Blog

Dr. David Healy is a psychiatrist, psychopharmacologist, scientist, and author who blogs about pharmacology and mental health

 

  1. Dr. David Susman Blog

A clinical psychologist, mental health advocate, professor, and writer shares resources and inspiration for better mental health

 

  1. Dr. Melissa Welby Blog

Psychiatry and well-being

 

  1. Dr. Sarah Ravin Blog

A clinical psychologist blogs about psychological issues and evidence-based treatments

 

  1. Fairfax-Falls Church Community Services Board News

If you live in Fairfax County, VA, sign up for CSB news to receive updates and links to helpful resources

 

  1. The Fractured Light

Living with borderline personality disorder

 

  1. Gardening Love

A unique wellness and lifestyle blog about enhancing mental health and well-being through gardening

 

  1. Healthy Place Blogs

A collection of mental health blogs

 

  1. Heather LeGuilloux Blog

A therapist blogs about mental health topics

 

  1. Info Counselling – Evidence based therapy techniques

Learn about the latest evidence-based treatments and download free therapy worksheets

 

  1. Kim’s Counseling Corner

Kim Peterson, a licensed professional counselor, created Kim’s Counseling Corner, a site with a variety of free downloadable resources for clinicians

 

  1. Love and Life Toolbox

Award-winning blog founded by Lisa Brookes Kift, marriage and family therapist, about marriages, relationships, and emotional health

 

  1. Mindcology

Mental health and self-help posts written by psychologists, counselors, and other mental health practitioners

 

  1. The Mighty

“A digital health community created to empower and connect people facing health challenges and disabilities”

 

  1. Momentus Institute Blog

A blog dedicated to building and repairing the social emotional health of children

 

  1. MQ Blog

A blog about transforming mental health care through research

 

  1. My Brain’s Not Broken

Living with mental illness

 

  1. NAMI Blog

Advocacy blog

 

  1. On Being Patient

Personal accounts of living with mental illness

 

  1. Our Parent Place

A place for parents with mental illness to connect and learn

 

  1. PsychCentral Mental Health and Psychology Blogs

Blog posts by experts, professionals, and ordinary people who share their insights on a variety of mental health topics

 

  1. Psychology Today Blogs

A large collection of blogs on psychology-related topics, including creativity, intelligence, memory, parenting, and more

 

  1. SAMHSA Blog

“A place where up-to-date information including articles from SAMHSA staff, announcements of new programs, links to reports, grant opportunities, and ways to connect to other resources are located”

 

  1. A Splintered Mind

Douglas Scootey blogs about “overcoming ADHD and depression with lots of humor and attitude”

 

  1. Survival Is a Talent

“A digital platform for individuals to share their Stories of Survival relating to health and wellness”

 

  1. Thriving While Disabled

A blog about living with a disability

 

  1. Your Brain Health 

Dr. Sarah McKay, neuroscientist and blogger, writes about topics related to neurology and mental health


Know of a great blog? Post in a comment!

Free Online Assessment and Screening Tools for Mental Health

Access a variety of assessment tools for mental health and related issues, including mood disorders, relationship attachment styles, suicide risk, communication skills, and domestic violence. This list includes both self-assessments and screening tools for clinicians to administer and score.

Compiled by Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

Updated November 21, 2018

How toDIY Your Whole Wedding

The following list will link you to a variety of mental health assessments and screenings. While an assessment can not take the place of a clinical diagnosis, it can give you a better idea if what you’re experiencing is “normal” (when compared to the general population). If your results indicate you may have a problem, it would be wise to schedule an appointment with a therapist or psychologist. (Print your results and bring them with you.)

I’ve also listed sites providing links to tools (including PDF printables) for mental health professionals to use with their clients.

Free Online Assessment and Screening Tools for Mental Health

20 Questions: Are You a Compulsive Gambler?

A short interactive self-assessment  

ACE Questionnaire 

Adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) are associated with a variety of health (both physical and mental) conditions in adults. To find your ACE score, take an interactive quiz. Learn more about ACEs on the CDC’s violence prevention webpage.

You can also download the international version (PDF) from the World Health Organization’s Violence and Injury Prevention webpage.

ADAA Screening Tools

The Anxiety and Depression Association of America provides links to both printable and interactive tests for depression, generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, panic disorder, PTSD, social anxiety disorder, and specific phobias. This site does not provide test results. (It’s recommended that you print your results to discuss with a mental health practitioner.) This is an excellent resource for clinicians to print and administer to clients.  

Adult ADHD Assessment Tools

Links to a PDF toolkit for clinicians. Includes Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale-V.1.1. (ASRS-V1.1) Symptom Checklist,  Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale-V1.1. (ASRS-V1.1) Screener (English), Adult ADHD Self-Report Scale-V1.1. (ASRS-V1.1) Screener (Spanish),  Barkley’s Quick-Check for Adult ADHD Diagnosis (Sample),  Brief Semi-Structured Interview for ADHD in Adults,  Weiss Functional Impairment Rating Scale Self-Report (WFIRS-S), ADHD Medication Side Effects Checklist, Medication Response Form, Hamilton Anxiety Rating Scale (HAM-A), Hamilton Depression Rating Scale (HDRS), and CAGE Questionnaire Adapted to Include Drugs

AlcoholScreening.org

An interactive test that gives personalized results based on age, gender, and drinking patterns

Assessment Instruments Developed at the Center for Trauma and the Community

Access the Trauma History Questionnaire and the Stressful Life Events Screening Questionnaire

Borderline Symptom List and Scoring Instructions

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Citations: Bohus M., Limberger, M. F., Frank, U., Chapman, A. L., Kuhler, T., Stieglitz, R. D. (2007). Psychometric Properties of the Borderline Symptom List (BSL). Psychopahology, 40, 126-132.

Career Assessments

Self-assessments to assess interests, skills, and work values

Demographic Data Scale

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The DDS is a self-report questionnaire used to gather extensive demographic information from the client.

Citations: Linehan, M. M. (1982). Demographic Data Schedule (DDS). University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work.

Depression Self-Assessment

A simple self-assessment tool from Kaiser. Results are provided on a spectrum, ranging from “None” to “Severe” depression.

Diary Cards NIMH S-DBT Diary Card NIDA Diary Card CARES Diary Card

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Domestic Violence Screening Quiz (from PsychCentral)

Interactive test to determine if you’re involved in a dangerous abusive relationship

DrugScreening.org

An interactive test that provides feedback about the likely risks of your drug use and where to find more information, evaluation, and help

Danger Assessment Screening Tool

Clinicians can download a PDF version of this assessment, which helps predict the level of danger in an abusive relationship; this screening tool was developed to predict violence and homicide.

DBSA Mental Health Screening Center

The Depression and Bipolar Support Alliance offers screening tools for both children and adults (including versions for parents to answers questions about their child’s symptoms). Take an online assessment for depression, mania, and/or anxiety.

DBT-WCCL Scale and Scoring

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Citations: Neacsiu, A. D., Rizvi, S. L., Vitaliano, P. P., Lynch, T. R., & Linehan, M. M. (2010). The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Ways of Coping Checklist (DBT-WCCL).: Development and Psychometric Properties. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 66(61), 1-20.

Deliberate Self-Harm Inventory

Measurement of deliberate self-harm (PDF)

Drug Abuse Screening Test DAST-10

For clinician use, a PDF version of the DAST-10 – does not give results or scoring instructions

ePROVIDE

For clinical or academic use only. Register to access a variety of assessment tools including Adherence to a Healthy Lifestyle questionnaire (AHLQ), Eating Disorder Inventory, Brief Evaluation of Medication Influences and Beliefs, Marwit Meuser Caregiver Grief Inventory, the Hooked on Nicotine Checklist, Body-Q, and more.

Financial Well-Being Questionnaire

Take this 10-question interactive test and receive a score (along with helpful financial tips)

Grief and Loss Quiz (from PsychCentral)

Take this test to learn if you may be suffering from complicated grief

Happiness Test (from Psychology Today)

A 20-minute interactive test – free snapshot report with the option to buy the full report for $4.95

Imminent Risk and Action Plan

Assessment/plan from the University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Interpersonal Communication Skills Inventory

A PDF self-assessment designed to provide insight into communication strengths and areas for development. Includes scoring instructions.

Keirsey

Take this interactive assessment to learn your temperament. (There are four temperaments: Artisan, Guardian, Idealist, and Rational.) My results were consistent with my Myers-Brigg personality type. (Note: You must create an account and enter a password to view your results.)

Library of Scales (from Outcome Tracker)

25 psychiatric scales (PDF documents) to be used by mental health practitioners in clinical practice. Includes Frequency, Intensity, and Burden of Side Effects Ratings; Fagerstrom Test for Nicotine Dependence; Fear Questionnaire; Massachusetts General Hospital Hair Pulling Scale; and more. (Note: Some of the assessments have copyright restrictions for use.)

Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale

Take an interactive self-assessment (from the National Social Anxiety Center) to assess for social anxiety

Lifetime – Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Count (L-SASI) Instructions Scoring

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The L-SASI is an interview to obtain a detailed lifetime history of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior.

Citations: Linehan, M. M. &, Comtois, K. (1996). Lifetime Parasuicide History. University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work.

Lineham Risk Assessment and Management Protocol

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Linehan, M. M. (2009). University of Washington Risk Assessment Action Protocol: UWRAMP, University of WA, Unpublished Work.

Mental Health Screening Tools

Online screenings for depression, anxiety, bipolar, psychosis, eating disorders, PTSD, and addiction. You can also take a parent test (for a parent to assess their child’s symptoms), a youth test (for a youth to report his/her symptoms), or a workplace health test. The site includes resources and self-help tools.

The Mood Disorder Questionnaire

A PDF screening tool for clinicians to assess symptoms of bipolar disorder

The National Sleep Foundation Sleepiness Test

An interactive test to assess if you are more or less sleepy than the general population

NORC Diagnostic Screen for Gambling Disorders Self-Administered (from the National Council on Problem Gambling)

An interactive 10-question test to assess gambling behaviors

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury Assessment Tool Brief Version | Full Version

Assessment tool created by Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery

Open Source Psychometrics Project

This site provides a collection of interactive personality and other tests, including the Open Extended Jungian Type Scales, the Evaluations of Attractiveness Scales, and the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale. On the whole, I’m doubtful of the scientific accuracy of the assessments. (For example, I took the site’s DISC assessment; my score did not match the score I received when I took the certified test through my employer.) Furthermore, the site’s “About” section maintains, “[The site] exists to educate the public… and also to collect research data.” (Collect research data? For who/what?) I would recommend using the site mainly for entertainment purposes (or not at all if you’re concerned about how your personal data is handled).

Parental Affect Test

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The Linehan Parental Affect Test is a self-report questionnaire that assesses parent responses to typical child behaviors.

Citations: Linehan, M. M., Paul, E., & Egan, K. J. (1983). The Parent Affect Test – Development, Validity and Reliability. Journal of Clinical Child Psychology, 12, 161-166.

Patient Health Questionnaire Screeners

This is a great diagnostic tool for clinicians. Use the drop down arrow to choose a PHQ or GAD screener (which assesses mood, anxiety, eating, sleep, and somatic concerns). The site generates a PDF printable; you can also access the instruction manual. No permission is required to reproduce, translate, display or distribute the screeners.

Project Implicit

A variety of interactive assessments that measures your hidden biases

Psychology Tools

Online self-assessments for addiction, ADHD, aggression, anxiety, autism spectrum, bipolar, depression, eating disorders, OCD, and personality.

Note: These tests may not be entirely accurate. I took the Personality Type Indicator (PTI), which supposedly assesses Myers-Briggs personality type. According to the PTI, I’m an ESFJ… and I’m (indisputably) an INTP. (I’ve taken the Myers-Briggs test, several times, with consistent results.) Then again, I took the Social Phobia Inventory, which correctly assessed my social anxiety, and the Bergen Shopping Addiction Scale, which validated my online shopping habits!

Reasons for Living Scale Scoring Instructions | RFL Scale (long form – 72 items) | RFL Scale (short form – 48 items) | RFL Scale (Portuguese) | RFL Scale (Romanian) | RFL Scale (Simplified Chinese) | RFL Scale (Traditional Chinese) | RFL Scale (Thai)

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The RFL is a self-report questionnaire that measures clients’ expectancies about the consequences of living versus killing oneself and assesses the importance of various reasons for living. The measure has six subscales: Survival and Coping Beliefs, Responsibility to Family, Child-Related Concerns, Fear of Suicide, Fear of Social Disapproval, and Moral Objections.

Citations: Linehan M. M., Goodstein J. L., Nielsen S. L., & Chiles J. A. (1983). Reasons for Staying Alive When You Are Thinking of Killing Yourself: The Reasons for Living Inventory. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51, 276-286.

Recovery Assessment Scales

A variety of assessments for individuals recovering from psychiatric illnesses

Risk-Taking Test (from PsychTests)

Self-test to assess your risk-taking behaviors – Receive a snapshot report with an option to buy the full report

Romantic Attachment Quiz (from PsychCentral)

A 41-item quiz to help you determine your romantic attachment style in relationships

SAMHSA Screening Tools

Valid and reliable screening tools for clinicians. This sites links you to PDF versions of assessments/screenings for depression, drug/alcohol use, bipolar disorder, suicide risk, anxiety disorders, and trauma.

The SAPA Project

SAPA stands for “Synthetic Aperture Personality Assessment.” This online personality assessment scores you on 27 “narrow traits,” such as order, impulsivity, and creativity in addition to the “Big Five” (Agreeableness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Neuroticism, and Openness). You’re also scored on cognitive ability. This test takes 20-30 minutes to complete and you will receive a full report when finished.

My results were, for the most part, indicative of my personality. Here’s the description from my “Order” score: “Your score on the Order scale indicates that you are low in orderliness. This suggests that tidiness is not a top priority for you… You don’t waste time organizing everything to be just perfect but this means others may sometimes view you to be a bit messy.” (If you’ve seen my desk, you know this to be true!)

SCOFF (A Quick Assessment for Eating Concerns Based on the SCOFF)

A screening tool for eating problems

Self-Compassion Scale

Links to a PDF version of the SCS (which assesses self-kindness, self-judgment, mindfulness, and more)

Self-Injury Questionnaire

To assess self-harm (PDF, assessment in appendix)

Severity Assessment

A PDF assessment tool from the Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery to assess the severity of non-suicidal self-injury

Sexual Addiction Screening (from PsychCentral)

A brief screening measure to help you determine if you are struggling with sexual addiction

Similar Minds

A fun site for personality tests. (For entertainment only purposes!)

Sleep Assessments from Sleep and Chronobiology Center (University of Pittsburgh)

Download PDF versions of instruments to assess sleep quality, including the Pittsburgh Sleep Quality Index and the Insomnia Symptom Questionnaire

Sleep Disorders Screening Survey

A short, interactive test to screen for sleep disorders

Social History Interview (SHI)

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The SHI is an interview to gather information about a client’s significant life events over a desired period of time. The SHI was developed by adapting and modifying the psychosocial functioning portion of both the Social Adjustment Scale-Self Report (SAS-SR) and the Longitudinal Interview Follow-up Evaluation Base Schedule (LIFE) to assess a variety of events (e.g., jobs, moves, relationship endings, jail) during the target timeframe. Using the LIFE, functioning is rated in each of 10 areas (e.g., work, household, social interpersonal relations, global social adjustment) for the worst week in each of the preceding four months and for the best week overall. Self-report ratings using the SAS-SR are used to corroborate interview ratings.

Citations: Weissman, M. M., & Bothwell, S. (1976). Assessment of social adjustment by patient self-report. Archives of General Psychiatry, 33, 1111-1115.

Keller, M. B., Lavori, P. W., Friedman, B., Nielsen, E. C., Endicott, J., McDonald-Scott, P., & Andreasen, N. C. (1987).  The longitudinal interval follow-up evaluation: A comprehensive method for assessing outcome in prospective longitudinal studies. Archives of General Psychiatry, 44, 540-548.

SOCRATES

A PDF version of the Stages of Change Readiness and Treatment Eagerness Scale for clinicians to assess readiness to change in alcohol users

Stanford Medicine WellMD

Self-tests for altruism, anxiety, burnout, depression, emotional intelligence, empathy, happiness, mindfulness, physical fitness, PTSD, relationship trust, self-compassion, sleepiness, stress, substance use, and work-life balance

The Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire

Links to several downloadable versions of the SDQ, which is designed to measure behavioral issues in children ages 4-17

Stress Self-Assessments (from The American Institute of Stress)

A variety of self-assessments to measure stress

Stress Test (from PsychCentral)

A 5-minute interactive test to measure your stress level

Substance Abuse History Interview

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The SAHI is an interview to assess periods of drug use (by drug), alcohol use, and abstinence in a client’s life over a desired period of time. The SAHI combines the drug and alcohol use items from the Addiction Severity Index (ASI) and the Time Line Follow-back Assessment Method to collect information about the quantity, frequency, and quantity X frequency of alcohol and drug consumption.

Citations: McLellan, A. T., Luborsky, L., Woody, G. E., & O’Brien, C. P. (1980). An improved diagnostic evaluation instrument for substance abuse patients: The Addiction Severity Index. Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 168, 26-33.

Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire | SBQ with Variable Labels | SBQ Scoring Syntax

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The SBQ is a self-report questionnaire designed to assess suicidal ideation, suicide expectancies, suicide threats and communications, and suicidal behavior.

Citations: Addis, M. & Linehan, M. M. (1989). Predicting suicidal behavior: Psychometric properties of the Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire. Poster presented at the Annual Meeting of the Association for the Advancement Behavior Therapy, Washington, D.C.

Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII) SASII Instructions For Published SASII | SASII Standard Short Form with Supplemental Questions | SASII Short Form with Variable Labels | SASII Scoring Syntax | Detailed Explanation of SPSS Scoring Syntax

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The SASII (formerly the PHI) is an interview to collect details of the topography, intent, medical severity, social context, precipitating and concurrent events, and outcomes of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior during a target time period. Major SASII outcome variables are the frequency of self-injurious and suicidal behaviors, the medical risk of such behaviors, suicide intent, a risk/rescue score, instrumental intent, and impulsiveness.

Citations: Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., Brown, M. Z., Heard, H. L., Wagner, A. (2006). Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII): Development, Reliability, and Validity of a Scale to Assess Suicide Attempts and Intentional Self-Injury. Psychological Assessment, 18(3), 303-312.

Suicide Risk Screening Tool

One-page PDF screening tool for clinicians (from the National Institute of Mental Health)

Therapist Interview

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The TI is an interview to gather information from a therapist about their treatment for a specific client.

Citations: Linehan, M. M. (1987). Therapist Interview. University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work.

Treatment History Interview | Appendices

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

The THI is an interview to gather detailed information about a client’s psychiatric and medical treatment over a desired period of time. Section 1 assesses the client’s utilization of professional psychotherapy, comprehensive treatment programs (e.g., substance abuse programs, day treatment), case management, self-help groups, and other non-professional forms of treatment. Section 2 assesses the client’s utilization of inpatient units (psychiatric and medical), emergency treatment (e.g., emergency room visits, paramedics visits, police wellness checks), and medical treatment (e.g., physician and clinic visits). Section 3 assesses the use of psychotropic and non-psychotropic medications.

Citations: Linehan, M. M. &, Heard, H. L. (1987). Treatment history interview (THI). University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work. Therapy and Risk Notes – do not use without citation. For clarity of how to implement these items, please see Cognitive-Behavioral Treatment of Borderline Personality Book, Chapter 15.

University of WA Suicide Risk/Distress Assessment Protocol

Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology

Reynolds, S. K., Lindenboim, N., Comtois, K. A., Murray, A., & Linehan, M. M. (2006). Risky Assessments: Participant Suicidality and Distress Associated with Research Assessments in a Treatment Study of Suicidal Behavior. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior (36)1, 19-33.

Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., &, Ward-Ciesielski, E. F. (2012). Assessing and managing risk with suicidal individuals. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 19(2), 218-232.

Wellness Self-Assessment

A PDF-version of Princeton University’s tool to measure your wellness in seven dimensions (emotional, environmental, intellectual, occupational, physical, social, and spiritual) – Calculate your results and then create an action plan.

The World Sleep Study

Take this short test to learn your sleep score and then answer additional questions to create a sleep profile.


If you know of a free online assessment for mental health that’s not listed in this post, please share in a comment! Contact me if a link is not working.

3 Reasons We Keep Toxic People in Our Lives

Why do we keep toxic people in our lives? Despite the emotional costs, many people chose to remain in toxic relationships. This post explores the emotional reasoning behind not letting go.

By Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

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Recently, an acquaintance told me about breaking up with his girlfriend. Listening to his story, I both cringed and laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it. (Think The Break-Up meets Fatal Attraction.) His humorously-told narrative left me wondering, how on earth did it get to that?

It began when his at-the-time girlfriend “secretly” moved in with him. At first, she’d stay for a night or two, which eventually turned into weeks at a time, until all her stuff was there and my friend found himself with a live-in girlfriend. (It’s worth mentioning he’d seen a few “red flags” early on, but chose to ignore them… as we often do under the spell of infatuation.) Now living with her, he couldn’t turn a blind eye to the fact that she had some serious mental health and interpersonal issues. Furthermore, the relationship had taken a turn for the worse; they were constantly fighting.

So, my friend (wisely) broke up with her and told her to get out. And… she refused. (Really??) She claimed there was a law permitting her to stay since she’d been there for X amount of time. (Note: This is also when he found out she was homeless.)

He kicked her out of the bedroom (and she slept on the couch). To “encourage” her to leave, he took her parking pass, along with her new iPhone (which he undoubtedly bought in a more amiable era). To further “motivate,” he even shut off her cell service.

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Despite his efforts, weeks stretched on; she continued to live (rent-free) on his couch.

To make a long story short… she eventually left. (Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this blog) … but not until the apartment manager and police got involved. (It turned out her tenant rights claim, while valid, was not actually applicable to her situation.)

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My initial reaction to the whole fiasco was incredulity – Seriously, how could he let it go that far? – but after reflecting on past relationships… it was suddenly very easy to understand. (I’ve made my fair share of relationship mistakes.)

The reality is, it’s never as simple as “it’s over, get out.” Relationships require a certain level of emotional investment and commitment. Plus, there are multiple factors (such as debt, illness, or infidelity) that contribute to a relationship’s complexity.

Back to my friend… to be fair, the reason he remained in a toxic relationship was her refusal to vacate the apartment; his options were limited… but, instead of allowing it drag on, he could have taken action earlier.  Anyway, the story has a happy(ish) ending (for my friend, probably not his ex). He has his place back (hopefully a lesson learned) and got free blog inspiration. This post is 100% inspired by my friend’s toxic relationship. (Thank you for letting me share!)

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(Apart from “tenant rights”) what are reasons we allow toxic or difficult people (friends, family, and/or romantic partners) to remain in our lives? Why is it so hard to let go?

  1. Either you need them (or you can’t ignore them)

A recent study suggests we keep toxic people around simply because their lives are intertwined with ours. For example, your aging mother-in-law, who degrades and insults you, lives at your home, despite the negative impact this has on your life. Your options are limited because your husband is unwilling to put her in a nursing home (and you may also depend on her for things, like childcare or help with the bills).

Another example would be toxic co-workers; you don’t have a lot of choice when it comes to your boss or colleagues, and you can’t entirely avoid them or refuse to talk about work-related stuff (unless you’re okay with losing your job). If pursing a new position isn’t practical, your next best option is to find a way to effectively deal with workplace toxicity.

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That being said, you don’t have the power to change anyone else. To manage your reactions and interactions with toxic people, acknowledge the need for self-adjustment, including attitude and role. Examine your personal views. Lower expectations for others; accept that people will do and say things you don’t agree with… and it’s not something you can control. Once you’ve reached the point of radical acceptance, follow guidelines for effective communication (i.e. active listening, avoiding blame, being aware of tone and body language, reflecting for clarity, etc.) in conversations with toxic people, whether it’s your mother-in-law or your boss. By being proactive, you’re doing your part to avoid getting caught up in others’ toxicity.

In the face of unavoidable toxicity, I find switching to a “counselor role” to be a tremendous asset; I set aside my personal viewpoint, opening myself to alternative views, while seeking to understand (not judge) behavior. (You don’t have to be a counselor to do this!) I view individuals in terms of “what happened to you?” instead of assuming they’re malicious or intentional. (People act the way they do for some reason.) I don’t know what’s happening in a “toxic” person’s life or what they’ve been through. (Maybe that snarky co-worker is in an abusive relationship and lives in fear. Or maybe her son is in the hospital with brain cancer. Or, it’s possible she grew up in a home where her parents yelled and disrespected each other, shaping her view of relationships. The snarky attitude makes sense when viewed through different lenses.) While it’s never okay to be an asshole, I can understand why people are jerks. Somehow, this knowledge serves as an immunity when encountering a toxic person. Their behavior is the result of something bad that happened to them; it has nothing to do with me and I can choose whether or not to engage. They don’t have power to negatively impact me unless I give it up.

  1. It feels better to stay

When Joe Strummer of the Clash sang the question, “Should I stay or should I go now?”; he knew the answer. (Note: Firm boundaries and healthy decisions aren’t the stuff of chart-topping hits.) We stay in unhealthy relationships or continue to hang out with toxic friends because it feels good (at times, at least). The boyfriend who yells at you can also be incredibly sweet and caring. Or your gossipy friend who talks about you behind your back also happens to be the most fun person you know. Despite the sense that it’s unhealthy, you (like Strummer) can’t resist. And like my friend, you ignore the red flags because you crave the rush or the intensity… or maybe what you desire most is the feeling of being wanted. (Despite the toxicity, it’s worth it, just to feel wanted… or is it?)

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Beyond just feeling good, it’s entirely possible to deeply love a toxic person (no matter how wrong they are for you). You don’t want to give up on the person they could be; maybe you’re in love with their potential (or an idea of what the relationship could be). You believe it’s better to sacrifice your happiness (your dignity, your well-being, your independence) than to be without the person you love.

On the flip side, some people stay in toxic relationships because deep down, they believe they can’t do any better and/or the abuse is a preferable alternative to being alone. It could also mean they believe they deserve to be punished (which sometimes happens when a person remains in an abusive relationship for a long time). Or, they may reason that it’s better to hang out with a “mean girl” than sit and stare at the walls on a Friday night (with only the cat for company).

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If you can relate to staying in a toxic relationship because it feels good or are afraid of being alone, carefully consider and weigh out the long-term costs of a toxic relationship. There are far worse and more damaging things than being alone. If the idea of being alone terrifies you, maybe it’s an indication that something’s not right… that you’re not okay. It could be a sign of low self-worth or could point to an intense fear of abandonment. It may also signify a lack of understanding of what it means to be in a healthy relationship. Lastly, an intense fear of being alone is associated with some of the personality disorders and/or could be the result of trauma.

  1. It’s easier to stay

 Breaking up is messy and uncomfortable. In my experience, most people avoid conflict when possible. Despite conflict being a natural, everyday occurrence, it can feel unpleasant, even for those with expert conflict resolution skills. However, avoiding conflict in relationships does more harm than good. In a healthy relationship, it’s necessary to address problems in order to resolve them, thereby strengthening the relationship.

In a toxic relationship, conflict should not be avoided, but for different reasons. It may be easier to ignore the reality of your situation than to get honest, but this is detrimental (not only to you, but to your partner, who will never have the opportunity to change so long as you enable the toxicity to continue).

You may wish to avoid the emotional drain that accompanies confrontation, but in the long run, you’ll lose more emotional energy if you remain in a toxic relationship. (A steep, one-time payment is preferable to the ongoing, daily emotional sacrifices/abuses associated with toxicity; you’re slowly poisoned as time goes on.)

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If you choose to end a toxic relationship, be realistic; it’s not going to be easy… and it’s going to hurt. A lot. You may love this person a great deal (and maybe you’ve long held on to the hope they’d change). Go into it with low (or no) expectations. When things feel unbearable, remember that the easy things in life matter little; the difficult stuff is what leads to personal growth, success, and resilience.

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In closing, I’m sure there are multitudes of reasons people have for staying in toxic relationships; this post is by no means comprehensive. I’m also certain, whatever the reason, it seems justifiable to them. People don’t choose toxicity without some sort of justification (if not for others, than at least for themselves). Unfortunately, rationalizations don’t offer protection from harm. No matter the reason for remaining in a toxic relationship, it’s not worth the cost.

What are some other reasons people have for staying in a toxic relationship? Why is letting go so hard? Please share your thoughts in a comment!


References

Bar-Ilan University. (2018, January 17). Why we keep difficult people in our lives. ScienceDaily. Retrieved July 14, 2018 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2018/01/180117152513.htm

Offer, S., & Fischer, C.S. (2017). Difficult people: Who is perceived to be demanding in personal networks and why are they there? American Sociological Review, 000312241773795, DOI: 10.1177/0003122417737951

8 Types of Liars

Read about 8 common types of liars ranging on a spectrum from the very worst (the pathological liar) to the well-meaning tactful liar.

By Cassie Jewell, LPC, LSATP

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I find the psychology of lying fascinating. So, while browsing research devoted solely to falsehoods (on which I’ll write a future post), I started to reflect on different sorts of liars I’ve met throughout the years.

This led to a Google search (“types of liars”) to see if it’s a thing. And it is… kinda – for example, sociopathic liars vs. occasional liars vs. white liars are all types of liars.

However, I’d been thinking about classifying liars on different terms. I conceptualize them on a spectrum, ranging from pathological (the worst type) to tactful (the least-harmful type), while taking into consideration the various reasons people lie.

In this post (which is not based on scientific research), I describe the 8 types of liars I’ve encountered, both as a professional counselor and in my personal life.

1. The pathological liar

This person lies constantly, for any reason, or for no reason at all. They don’t know when they’re lying and they’re incapable of being honest with not only others, but with themselves. Due to this, it’s impossible to have an authentic relationship with the pathological liar; their reality fluctuates and evolves on a whim.

What I consider pathological lying is what others may refer to as sociopathic. In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), repeated lying is a criterion for diagnosing antisocial personality disorder (formerly known as sociopathy or psychopathy).

The pathological liar isn’t necessarily dangerous or cruel, but they’ll never be someone you can trust. The pathological liar, providing they have other redeeming qualities, is a suitable acquaintance, but never a loyal friend, partner, or spouse.

2. The intentional liar

This type of liar enjoys pushing your buttons. They lie for the fun of it or for the sake of entertainment. It makes them feel powerful and in control. The people they lie to are their pawns. They often desire an audience.

While the intentional liar is similar to the pathological liar in some ways, they differ in that they’re fully aware of their untruths. The intentional liar is the high school quarterback who asks the least popular girl to prom… and then tells her it was just a joke – in front of all his friends.

Sometimes, the intentional liar poses as a jokester, but they’re malicious and cruel.

They fib to get a reaction and then say (in a mean-spirited way), “I was just f—ing with you!” Sometimes, the intentional liar poses as a jokester, but they’re malicious and cruel. The only reason they’re not at the very end of the spectrum is that by possessing awareness, they at least have the capacity to change.

 3. The manipulative liar

They lie to get what they need (or want). They have an end goal and will do or say whatever it takes to achieve it.

They often use flattery or say what they think you want to hear in order to get a promotion, make a sale, get elected… or get in your pants.

Like the pathological liar, you won’t know where you stand with the manipulative liar. (Does she think you’re witty? Or does she like free drinks?) The manipulative liar is not malicious, but they can still cause harm. They have no place in your life.

4. The protective liar

They’ll go to any length to protect a secret, be it the murder of their lover’s wife or a demotion at work.

This type of liar is at times dangerous, but can also be perceived as noble; it all depends on what (or who) they’re protecting. They’ll go to any length to protect a secret, be it the murder of their lover’s wife or a demotion at work. They have no moral objections to lying as long as it serves their purpose.

They may protect your secrets as well, making them a loyal friend or spouse.

The danger lies in who or what they choose to protect. This type of liar may carry dark, terrible secrets that would shake you to the core if revealed. You’ll never know what they keep hidden and therefore, you’ll never (fully) know who they are. Their secret could be as benign as a childhood stutter… or it could be devastating and unspeakable, a sexual predator who victimizes vulnerable youth or a secret affair with your brother.

5. The avoidant liar

Instead of being straightforward, they make excuses or dance around the truth.

They strive to avoid something they find unpleasant; instead of being honest, they offer partial truths or deflect. It could be that the avoidant liar is evading conflict or doesn’t want to complete a particular task. Maybe they don’t want to be judged. Instead of being straightforward, they make excuses or dance around the truth.

For example, the avoidant liar who opts out of a family dinner because they can’t stand their mother-in-law pleads a migraine. Or the avoidant liar who oversleeps and is late to work tells their boss they got a flat tire. And the avoidant liar who drunkenly spills red wine on your white carpet blames it on the dog.

Avoidant liars are frustrating because they don’t say what they mean; you can never be sure if you’re getting the truth, a half truth, or a made-up excuse.

6. The impressive liar

They aim to impress. This person may not see themselves as a liar; they may not even realize they’re being deceitful. They fabricate to gain the approval of others. They may stretch the truth to make a story a bit funnier. They could fake a feeling to seem more self-assured than they are.

Lying to impress is more of a habit than a conscious act. The impressive liar believes their own stories after telling them so many times. (For example, after multiple retellings of a bar fight, the impressive liar begins to believe that he knocked out three bikers, when in reality, he broke his fist attempting to punch the bouncer.)

Impressive liars are mostly harmless, but can be annoying, especially when it’s obvious they’re fibbing. They pose little risk, but why spend time with someone who feels the need to pretend to be something they’re not?

7. The lazy liar

Sometimes, speaking candidly requires a lengthy explanation. The lazy liar streamlines the truth because it’s less complicated than giving the full narrative.

The lazy liar doesn’t leave out important details; instead, they opt to recount the movie version of the truth instead of the 700-page book version.

For example, saying, “I was late because I grabbed the wrong report” is easier than “I’m late because after I grabbed the report, I realized one page was missing, and when I went back, I had to reprint the entire report because the page numbers were off and the heading wasn’t on a separate sheet.”

Lazy lying is harmless. The lazy liar doesn’t leave out important details; instead, they opt to recount the movie version of the truth instead of the 700-page book version. (The only time lazy lying can be problematic is when the lazy liar deems a detail unimportant when it is, in fact, imperative.)

8. The tactful liar

They are considerate and well-meaning. They offer overly-optimistic reassurances when things aren’t going well and find themselves saying things like, “It wasn’t that bad” (even when it was indeed that bad).

They’re pleasant to be around. Your plus-sized butt will never look fat in jeans and your disastrous dye job will be “edgy,” not “traffic-cone orange.”

What they lack in candor, they make up for in amiability.

You also won’t know when there’s spinach in your teeth, if your fly is down, when your breath is bad, if the PowerPoint presentation you put together for work is dull, or if it might be considered clingy to send 19 texts (including “heart eyes” emoticons) to your new boyfriend who’s at the game with the guys.

The tactful liar has the best of intentions; they don’t want to upset you or hurt your feelings. What they lack in candor, they make up for in amiability.

An honorable mention for the heroic (self-sacrificing) liar. This type of liar is exceedingly rare, which is why they’re not included with the eight more common types. The heroic liar is similar to the protective liar in that they’ll go to extremes to protect, but in their case, they lie to defend (or safeguard) someone they love (or to save a stranger even, if they believe it’s the right thing to do).

For example, if two children (brothers) are playing, and the youngest breaks a lamp, the older (heroic liar) will take the blame to save the younger from a spanking.

The heroic liar’s place on the spectrum would be past the well-meaning liar, on the very end.

Can you relate to any of the above liars? Maybe you’re personally acquainted with one (or several) of them?



Share your thoughts in the comments section!