A Meaning of Life: Chasing an Impossible Dream of Wellbeing

Guest Post: Introducing a New Resource for Wellness

When we started A Meaning of Life (AMoL), the idea felt at once impossible and completely sane. Impossible because of its scope: to understand human wellbeing in its depth, nuance, and complexity. Sane because—really—what could be more practical than trying to understand what makes life worth living, and then sharing that understanding so others might put that wisdom into practice?

This project began with Randall, our founder, who broke his neck as a teenager, becoming quadriplegic. On the edge of death, Randall chose life—not just to continue living, but to live it fully and to share what he could about how to do so with others.

Decades later—after becoming a PhD psychologist, father, and living a life of many twists and turns—there was no silver bullet. The scientific insights were scattered, the practical applications were fragmented, and the guidance was often oversimplified. Out of that gap came a dream: to create a resource that could bring clarity, evidence, and practical insights together as one.

That dream became A Meaning of Life—a nonprofit and ever-growing library of practical-yet-science-based wisdom for a well-lived life. Today, our website hosts nearly a thousand pages of resources, organized so that it’s personal to you, and you can explore the factors that shape wellbeing in a way that is both grounded in research and deeply human.

Mapping the Web of Wellbeing

At the heart of our project are a handful of helpful mental models: each one takes a different angle of approach to map out the complex, interconnected elements that contribute to a flourishing life. There is the Happiness section, which clarifies the broken concept of wellbeing through both complex and simple lenses—complex like accounting for the inherent tangles in the web of researching wellbeing and providing an overview of Positive Psychology’s leading models, and simple like offering wellbeing in four basic elements: Pleasure, Flow & Engagement, Perspective, and Meaning in Life (the fourth and most important element).

And there are the four Cornerstones of Meaning, each cornerstone itself being a collection of factors that play a role in wellbeing. For most factors of wellbeing (there are 50 identified across the site), readers find detailed infographics, exercises, and curated web resources to guide their journey of learning wellbeing as a skill that can be practiced.

Some of the factors of wellbeing are well-known to most, like Gratitude, Friendship, and Curiosity. Others are easily overlooked, like Happiness as a Hindrance, Listening, and Clean Communication.

Each section of the site explores one of these factors in depth. For example, our Purpose section doesn’t just define the concept; it presents empirical research, practical exercises, and pathways to integrate it into daily life, making your dream life more life-like. It even has a deep-dive workbook for transforming one’s life into one that is rich with purpose.

Our goal isn’t to reduce wellbeing to a single formula, but to show its complexity—and to empower people to explore it in a way that resonates with their own lives.

From Theory to Practice: The Assessment Center

One of the resources we’re most excited about is our Assessment Center. This is where theory meets practice. Visitors can take evidence-based psychological assessments to measure every one of those 50+ factors of wellbeing, identifying which ones are strengths and which are growth zones. This is an incredible tool in its own right, and when paired with the content on AMoL, it can guide people towards what areas of life to study to get the biggest results on their wellbeing.

The assessments are more than just self-discovery, too. The data (always anonymized) has the potential to fuel research, giving psychologists and social scientists valuable insight into what well-being looks like across diverse populations. In other words, every visitor who takes an assessment isn’t just learning about themselves—they’re helping build a collective picture of human flourishing. And we’re committed to making the data free and open to researching… we are a 501c3 non-profit, and we stand by that intent.

We’re especially hopeful about the long-term research potential. Imagine being able to see, at scale, how gratitude impacts resilience, or how value alignment predicts life satisfaction. The Assessment Center opens the door to that kind of knowledge.

Visual Models for a Complex World

We know that wellbeing can feel abstract, so we’ve invested in creating visual models and infographics to make the science more accessible.

For example, our Crisis of Meaning infographic addresses the modern crisis that many people can feel, but few people have considered in detail.

Our visuals, fridge sheets, and printable exercises aren’t just decorative—they’re teaching tools. They’re designed to spark insight, conversation, and reflection, helping people see the bigger picture while also noticing the threads most relevant to their own lives.

Why We Believe This Matters

In a world overflowing with quick-fix self-help advice, our approach might seem unusual. We don’t promise instant happiness or one-size-fits-all answers. Instead, we embrace complexity. We honor nuance. We believe that cultivating a good life is a lifelong practice, grounded in science but enriched by story, art, and humanity.

And we believe this work matters because the stakes are high. Rates of anxiety, depression, and loneliness are climbing. Many people feel disconnected—from others, from purpose, from themselves. In that context, our mission to explore and share the building blocks of wellbeing isn’t just an intellectual exercise. It’s an act of care.

Looking Ahead

We know our dream is ambitious. Sometimes it feels daunting to be building something so wide-reaching as a small nonprofit. But when we hear from people who found comfort in our pages, it reminds us why this work is worth it.

Our hope is that A Meaning of Life can serve as both a mirror and a guide: a mirror that helps people see their own strengths and challenges more clearly, and a guide that points toward practices and perspectives that support flourishing.

An Invitation

If our mission resonates with you, we invite you to explore A Meaning of Life for yourself. Browse our pages. Try out a few assessments in the Assessment Center. Share our resources with a client, a student, a friend, or a family member.

And most importantly, reflect on what you find. Because at the end of the day, the dream we’re chasing isn’t just about knowledge—it’s about transformation. It’s about helping people cultivate lives of greater meaning, connection, and joy. And we’re all on the journey toward that dream together.


The Bathroom Affirmation Project

Spread the message of self-love with bathroom affirmations

I’ve been on a self-love journey, which inspired me to start the bathroom affirmation project. Self-affirmations are a powerful tool for enhancing self-efficacy and self-compassion. They can also help improve resourcefulness, enhance the ability to solve problems, reduce stress, and even promote pro-social behaviors.

Public bathrooms are often decorated with graffiti proclaiming things like “Kelsey was here” or “TJ + MM = Love Forever.” I thought it might be refreshing to see positive affirmations instead of “Call for a good time.”

To avoid leaving permanent marks, I decided to print affirmations on cardstock paper to tape to the walls of bathroom stalls. My hope is that the bathroom affirmations will spread positivity and inspire women everywhere to love themselves.

Create Your Own Bathroom Affirmation Kit

You can easily create your own bathroom affirmation kit to help spread the love.

Materials Needed:

  • Cardstock paper
  • Scissors
  • Double-sided tape

Make your own cards with handwritten affirmations, or download, print, and cut out the cards below:

Here are some additional quotes and ideas for affirmation cards:

  • “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” -Ayn Rand
  • I am not my mistakes or my past.
  • “It’s your place in the world; it’s your life. Go on and do all you can with it, and make it the life you want to live.” -Mae Jemison (American engineer, physician, and former NASA astronaut)
  • My life is full of potential.
  • “Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
  • Today, I will treat myself with kindness and compassion.
  • “Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” -Marilyn Monroe
  • I am writing my own story.
  • “Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?” -L. M. Montgomery (Author of Anne of Green Gables)
  • I believe in the person I am and the person I am becoming.
  • “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Oprah Winfrey
  • I am the key to my own happiness.
  • “No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.” -Brene Brown
  • I am learning and growing every day.
  • “I am deeply grateful for all that I have, and all that I am.” -Louise Hay (American motivational author, professional speaker, and AIDS advocate)

You can also buy cards on Temu or Amazon. I like the Power Thought Cards: A 64 Card Deck by Louise Hay. (Disclaimer: The link below is an affiliate link and I receive a small commission from purchases.)

I keep my bathroom affirmation kit in my purse, so I always have it with me when I leave the house.


What are your thoughts on the bathroom affirmation project? I’d love to hear from you! And if you decide to create your own kit, I’d love to know more and/or see pics.


References

Albalooshi, S., Moeini-Jazani, M., Fennis, B. M., & Warlop, L. (2020). Reinstating the resourceful self: When and how self-affirmations improve executive performance of the powerless. Personality & Social Psychology Bulletin46(2), 189–203. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167219853840

Creswell, J. D., Dutcher, J. M., Klein, W. M., Harris, P. R., & Levine, J. M. (2013). Self-affirmation improves problem-solving under stress. PloS One8(5), e62593. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0062593

Dutcher, J. M., Eisenberger, N. I., Woo, H., Klein, W. M. P., Harris, P. R., Levine, J. M., & Creswell, J. D. (2020). Neural mechanisms of self-affirmation’s stress buffering effects. Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience15(10), 1086–1096. https://doi.org/10.1093/scan/nsaa042

Lindsay, E. K., & Creswell, J. D. (2014). Helping the self help others: Self-affirmation increases self-compassion and pro-social behaviors. Frontiers in Psychology5, 421. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2014.00421


5 Ways to Embrace Self-Love with a Lovelock

The self-lovelock is a powerful symbol of self-compassion and healing, a reminder that you are worthy of love

Have you ever crossed a bridge and seen the sides covered in tiny padlocks? These little “lovelocks” are a global phenomenon, and they can be found on bridges in large cities all over the world. You can also find them on fences, sculptures, lampposts, etc. Nowadays, pretty much anything that will sustain a lock is fair game.

Some of the locks have initials, names, or hearts carved into them, and they are latched there by couples to symbolize their love and commitment to each other. Then, the key is thrown away to represent their unbreakable bond; a padlock that will remain locked forever.

The Lovelock Tradition

The tradition of lovelocks is thought to have originated in the early 1900s in Serbia, where an unfortunate young woman, Nada, lost her lover. He went to war in Greece and fell in love with another woman, leaving Nada to die of heartbreak. As a result, the women in the town started protecting their love by inscribing their names and the names of their loved ones on locks and fastening them to the bridge where Nada would meet with her lover. The tradition has since become a trend in countries all over the world.

One of the most famous lovelock destinations is located in Paris: the Pont des Arts bridge. The Parisian tradition started around 2008 shortly after it gained popularity in Italy, where it was made fashionable by the Italian film I Want You. Subsequently, 6 years later in 2014, part of the Pont des Arts collapsed under the weight of over 700,000 padlocks.

The damaged structure was rebuilt with glass panels, leaving no way to attach locks. City officials came up with other creative (non-damaging) ways for couples to express their devotion, such as taking selfies and posting them with the hashtag #lovewithoutlocks. Lovers still travel from all over to see the bridge and pledge their love to each other.


The idea of a lovelocked bridge in Paris is romantic. But when I was there going through a marital separation, I developed a distaste for the practice. The locks seemed like a superficial way to show love, and I couldn’t help but see them as a symbol of broken promises. I also thought about the weight of the locks, both figuratively and literally.

The “I Love You” Wall

I didn’t pay a visit to the Pont des Arts, but I visited the Wall of Love, also known as the “I Love You” Wall, which features the phrase in over 300 different languages. The wall is located in Paris’s Jehan-Rictus Square and was created by the artist Frédéric Baron. The “I Love You” Wall is where my cynical thinking started.

A photo I took of the “I Love You” Wall in Paris

The area was crawling with street merchants selling lovelocks, their cries of “A lock for your love!” screeching in my ears.

Fed up with being hassled to buy a 20-euro lock (the sort a 10-year-old girl might use for protecting secrets in her diary), I imagined various scenarios in which I would respond to the next merchant with feigned earnestness: “Do I get a refund if he breaks up with me?” “Do you have divorce ones? And those would be half-priced, right?” “Will it work on a stranger, or do they have to already be in a relationship with me?” “Is there a limit on how many I can use at once?”

I would pick away at the symbolism and absurdity of the lovelock, all to entertain myself.

Love-mocks, Love-blocks, Love-shocks

Although truly, what happens when a “lovelocked” couple breaks up, a relationship ends, or a once-happy marriage falls apart? For example, does Mary “cheated-on-by-her-now-ex-husband” Smith think about their traitorous lovelock somewhere out there, once a metaphor for love, now symbolic of what could have been or perhaps just a symbol of grief? The lovelock tradition is seen as a romantic gesture, but for some, the lovelock becomes a reminder of a lost love, a source of pain or sadness.

And how many of the lovelocks out there are representative not of love but failed relationships, abusive partnerships, or broken hearts? The stats aren’t great. More than 85% of dating relationships lead to breakups and most daters feel like their dating lives aren’t going well or that it’s hard to find people to date. The average length of a relationship is less than 3 years. The average marriage lasts approximately 8 years, and nearly half of first marriages end in divorce with even higher divorce rates for second and third marriages.

What’s more, who’s to say that the people who stay together are in a healthy partnership? 1 in 4 women experience sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner. In fact, every minute that goes by, 20 people on average are physically abused by a partner in the United States.

So really, how many of those locks represent love? It’s not romantic; it’s tragic.

And then, think about all the lovelocks that were removed to prevent structural damage, as was the fate of hundreds of padlocks at Pont des Arts. Or, what if your lock was one of the padlocks that led to structural collapse. What does that symbolize? That love is a destructive force or one that isn’t meant to last?

Finally, I thought about the dark side of the “forever locked” concept. By throwing away the key, couples are essentially locking themselves into the relationship. This could be a dangerous thing, as people and relationships change over time. Should love be viewed in such finite terms?

The Self-Lovelock

Love is not a lock. In fact, there’s nothing less romantic than thinking about a relationship as a prison. True love is given freely, no strings (or locks) attached, and it’s not binding. Not only that, but the lock concept limits the potential of love by viewing it as an object. Love is not a thing, but an experience that is shared. It can’t be forced or coerced; it’s something we choose.

This is when the realization came that a lovelock may still have a beautiful purpose, for while some loves are temporary, there is a type of love that should be the “forever” sort. Self-love should be protected and nurtured at all costs. No matter what happens in life, as long as you’re living, it’s worth investing in yourself. Besides that, self-love is the foundation of all other relationships.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”

Oscar Wilde

After my epiphany, I was inspired to remake the lovelock concept in a way that would promote self-love. Here are five fun and creative ways you can embrace self-love with a lovelock:

1. Keep the key

Buy a lock and decorate it with your own personal touch or have it engraved to your liking. When you travel to a meaningful place, attach your lock to something that will last, perhaps a landmark or a bridge. But keep the key.

The key is a symbol of your power. It’s a reminder that you hold the key to your happiness and fate. You can choose to dwell on your mistakes or to forgive yourself, learn, and move forward. It’s up to you.

The key is a symbol of your worth. The key can also remind you that no one can make you feel bad about yourself unless you let them. You hold the key to your sense of self and your self-worth. Keep the key close, wear it as a necklace, or put it somewhere safe as a daily reminder that you are in control of your life. Let it remind you that you are worthy of love and respect.

2. Keep the lock too

Another option is to keep both lock and key. This is a more sustainable way to participate in a self-lovelock tradition, and it has a deeper symbolic meaning.

The lock represents your self-love, while the key represents your commitment to it. By keeping both, you are reminding yourself that you are worthy of love and that you are committed to loving yourself unconditionally.

Once again, you can wear as jewelry or keep in a safe place that you can see as a daily reminder. Let it remind you of your commitment to self-love and of the importance of loving yourself first.

3. Create your own self-love tradition

Find a special place that you can visit regularly to reaffirm your commitment to self-care. Perhaps it’s somewhere in nature, a place that brings you peace, a spot that holds fond memories, or even a place you’ve created specifically for this purpose.

Once a year, attach a new lock to this place as a symbol of your ongoing journey of self-love. You can do this alone or with a loved one, as long as the experience is meaningful to you.

Be sure to choose a place that is likely to remain accessible to you for years to come. This way, you can return to whenever you need a reminder of your commitment to self-care.

4. Give lovelocks freely

When you practice self-compassion, you’re better prepared to meet the challenges of life, knowing that you can count on yourself. Your capacity to love others actually increases. By choosing to love yourself unconditionally, you’ll have more compassion for those around you.

Lovelocks are symbols of self-love. When you see someone who is struggling, offer them a lovelock as a gesture of kindness and support. Share about the concept of a self-lovelock and how it can serve as a daily reminder to slow down, attend to needs, and practice self-compassion. Let them know that they are not alone.

5. Share the self-love message with others

Leave a self-lovelock on a bridge or other structure where lovelocks are common. This is a great way to spread the message of self-love and to inspire others to embrace their own worth.

Personalize your lock with a message about self-love. You can write or engrave your lock with a quote, a mantra, or simply the words “self-love.”

Leave the key in the lock or even leave an extra lock so that others can take it if they need it. This is kind gesture showing that you are willing to share your love with others.

Your self-lovelock will be a reminder to others that they are worthy of love and happiness. It will serve as an inspiration to all who see it.

Final Thoughts

To close, I’m not actually against the idea of lovelocks. They can be a fun and cute gesture, but they are ultimately just that: a gesture. They can be easily broken or lost and they’re not a guarentee of love or committment.

I believe that the self-lovelock is different; it’s a powerful symbol of self-compassion and healing. It is a reminder that you are worthy of love, and it can be a source of motivation when we are struggling.

I think there should be a Wall of Self-Love. This would be a place of inspiration where people could share their self-affirmations, messages of support, and mantras that have helped them through tough times. It would serve as a powerful reminder that it is not selfish to care for yourself, and that you should be proud to share this message with others.


References