19 Unique Ways to Be More Charitable

(Updated 6/22/18) Ideas for charity contributions that are easy, cheap (or free!), and fun. An awesome list for people who may not have a lot of money or time, but still want to give back.

To build self-esteem, one must do “esteemable” acts.

Charitable acts help to build self-esteem; it feels good to help others. As a substance abuse counselor, I worked with adults who were worn down or broken from their battle with addiction; an individual with a substance use disorder often feels tremendous guilt and shame.

One of the best things a person can do to build self-esteem or live a more meaningful life is to help others…

I taught my clients to cherish themselves, to forgive, and to find a purpose in life. One of the best things a person can do to build self-esteem or live a more meaningful life is to help others; random acts of kindness, volunteering at a homeless shelter, reading to children at a library, donating toiletries or blankets to someone who has lost their home in a fire… There are countless ways to help. Research indicates that practicing compassion and volunteering build self-esteem.

Unfortunately, not everyone has the time to volunteer (or the resources to donate). The purpose of this list is to provide ideas for charity contributions that are easy, cheap, and fun. I created this list for people who may not have a lot of money or time. I found some awesome ways to give back that aren’t time-consuming; many of the ideas require minimum effort and/or are 100% free. Build them into your life and feel happy about helping those in need!

Image by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

UNIQUE AND FUN WAYS TO BE MORE CHARITABLE

1. Purchase Who Gives A Crap toilet paper. 

Products are environmentally friendly and 50% of profits go to help build toilets and improve sanitation in the developing world.

Image by lyperzyt from Pixabay

2. Donate your wedding dress to a charitable cause.

Here are a few of my favorites:

Wish Upon A Wedding: A nonprofit organization that grants weddings and vow renewals for couples facing serious illness or a life-altering circumstance.

Adorned in Grace: All proceeds are used to promote awareness and prevention of sex trafficking as well as crisis prevention for trafficked victims.

Cherie Amour: Proceeds from dress sales help low income individuals get jobs.

Fairytale Brides: Net proceeds from all sales are donated to charitable organizations supporting women’s empowerment programs.

3. Save a life by joining a marrow registry such as Be The Match or Gift of Life. 

Your donation may save the life of a person with a blood cancer like leukemia and lymphoma. You must be in good health and you must be prepared to spend 20-30 (non-consecutive) hours of your time if you are chosen. Not everyone is chosen; according to Be The Match, about 1 in 430 members goes on to donate marrow or peripheral blood stem cells. If you join Gift of Life, you have a 1 in 250 chance of being a match, but then only a 20% chance of donating.

You can also donate blood at a blood drive. O-negative is the universal donor type because it is compatible with any blood type, but only about 5% of the U.S. population have this blood type. There’s a great need for O-negative donations (Source: https://www.redcrossblood.org/learn-about-blood/blood-types.html)

4. With Kiva, lend as little as $25 to help a borrower start or grow a business, go to school, access clean energy or realize their potential. 

100% of every dollar goes to a loan. You can browse through different categories and attributes. According to Kiva, 97% of loans are repaid, but there’s no guarantee. You can read the borrower’s story before you submit your loan. (I loaned $25 to a woman in El Salvador to help her buy a sewing machine. Update: I received full repayment within three months.)

Image by Willfried Wende from Pixabay

5. Help the homeless.

Keep a pack of bottled water in your car. Alternatively, you can provide someone in need with a small bag filled with toiletry items, socks, tissues, granola bars, etc. (Take the extra shampoo, lotions, and soap when you’re at a hotel and put them to use!) If the weather is cold, buy gloves or hats from the dollar store to hand out. Give $5 gift cards for Burger King or Taco Bell. Personally, I choose to not give cash. (Many of the “homeless” individuals you see are panhandlers.) However, if I’m in an area with a large homeless population, I buy a pack of cigarettes; when someone asks for change, I offer a cigarette instead. Lastly, because of the work I do, I have business-sized cards with a crisis line, a phone number for local resources (including shelters), and a number for a substance use program, which I pass out if needed.

6. Host a closet swap party!

Exy Castellanos, a social worker from Chattanooga, Tennessee, provided this idea. “My friends and I have a closet swap party. We swap clothes and stuff and whatever is left over we donate to a local thrift store (not Goodwill).”

7. Volunteer with Idealist.

It’s free to sign up, to search for opportunities, and to connect with others. Idealist is a global network of people and organizations that connects individuals with advantages to work, volunteer, or intern. To give you a better idea, here are examples of some volunteer opportunities: Reading partner at an under-resourced elementary school, judging a local competition, playing with homeless children one night a week, coaching a sports team, volunteer zoo guide, volunteering at a museum, cleaning up a national park, and interpreter.

8. Run (or walk/march/bike) for charity!

Pick a cause and raise funds.

9. An Internet search led me to Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for the Disabled, which helps adults with spinal cord injuries and other mobility impairments in the U.S. to live more independent and engaged lives. 

This is accomplished by providing the individuals with unique service animals (at no cost): Highly trained service monkeys to help with daily tasks.

10. Janelle Bennett from Michigan suggested Charity: Water, a great organization bringing people clean water. 

100% of donations go to actually helping people. You can start a fun campaign to raise funds; one guy actually rented his face and let a stranger shave his beard on the street to raise money.

11. Every time you buy concert tickets, donate to charity.

At one point in my life, I decided that if I could afford concert tickets, I could afford a small donation ($25) for a good cause. (And it doesn’t have to be concert tickets; it can be anything you want! Buying a piece of jewelry, purchasing an electronic device, dinning out, etc.)

EFFORTLESS WAYS TO BE MORE CHARITABLE

12. Instead wedding favors, make a CHARITABLE donation TO YOUR FAVORITE CAUSE for each guest. 

At my wedding, my husband and I picked a lung cancer nonprofit to honor his father, who passed away from lung cancer. You can buy cards on Etsy or, just make them yourself with pearl cardstock paper!


13. Tabs for a Cause is a free browser extension.

Every time you open a new tab, a donation is made to your favorite charity.

14. Lyft has a “round up and donate” setting; opt in, and your fare will round up automatically with each ride. 

There are a variety of causes to choose from.

15. “Click to give” at GreaterGood. 

It’s completely free. You can click once per day, and there are multiple causes to choose. I first discovered GreaterGood through The Animal Rescue Site; a single click helps to provide food and shelter to animals in need. (You can also do some shopping and a percentage of the item’s retail price is donated to a cause. I bought a beautiful handbag with a jungle print!)

16. Shop at AmazonSmile at no extra cost, and Amazon will donate a portion of the purchase price to your favorite charitable organization.

You can choose from nearly 1 million charities, including local charities.

17. If you use Swagbucks, you can donate your Swagbucks to various charitable causes instead of redeeming for a gift card or cash. 

Similarly, some airlines will allow you to donate your miles to a cause.

18. If you’re a runner, download the Charity Miles app to earn money for charity for the miles you run. 

You can also earn money for walking and biking.

19. Play free vocabulary games at Free Rice and for each correct answer, 10 grains of rice are donated to World Food Programme to help end hunger.

Free Rice has two goals: To provide free education and to end world hunger

Additional Charitable Ideas: 

Wands for Wildlife: Donate old mascara wands! They’re used to gently remove fly eggs and larva from the fur of wild animals. (Wash in soap and warm water before mailing.)

Coin Up: Download the app to round up on credit or debit card transactions. Your “spare change” is then donated to the charity of your choice each month.

CoinStar Coins That Count: Take your change to a CoinStar kiosk to donate to a charity of your choice. A printed receipt will be provided.

Rake a neighbor’s yard or shovel their driveway. 

Pay for a stranger’s coffee, dinner, grocery item, etc. 


Before making a donation, you can check a charity’s credibility (including a financial breakdown of funds) at the BBB Wise Giving Alliance. Alternatively, you can use Charity Watch, which grades charities and includes “red flag” information. The site also provides a list of the top charities. Also, Charity Navigator, which includes guides and tips for donating items, volunteering, informed giving, and more.


What are some creative and unique ways to donate to charity? Leave an answer in the “Comments” section!

Updated June 22, 2018



Karche, M. (2009). Increases in academic connectedness and self-esteem among high school students who serve as cross-age peer mentors. Professional School Counseling, 12(4), 292-299.

Mongrain, M., Chin, J., &, Shapira, L. (2011). Practicing compassion increases happiness and self-esteem. Journal of Happiness Studies, 12(963).

von Bonsdorff, M.B. &, Rantanen, T. (2011). Benefits of formal voluntary work among older people: A review. Aging Clinical and Experimental Research, 23(162).


charitable

161 Powerful Questions to Explore Values, Ideas, & Beliefs

161 open-ended questions to explore values, ideas, and beliefs. An ideal tool for group therapy, journaling, or to use as an icebreaker.

(Updated 7/16/23) The questions to explore ask about recovery, spirituality, personal growth, and other relevant topics. As a counselor, I’ve used the questions with adults who struggle with mental illness and addiction, mostly in a group setting.

Asking open-ended questions is a basic counseling skill. Open questions invite the client to explore his or her thoughts, beliefs, and ideas. In contrast, closed questions can be answered with a yes or no.


The first section, “Conversation Starters,” is comprised of questions to explore that can be used as icebreakers, at a party, or even on a date.  In a clinical setting, use a “Conversation Starter” as a group check-in. It provides an opportunity for group members to engage and to learn about their peers.


Click below for a free printable handout that includes questions to explore from each category:

Questions to Explore Values, Ideas, & Beliefs

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Conversation Starters

  1. What is the most interesting thing you heard this week?
  2. What’s the one thing you really want to do but have never done, and why?
  3. Would you take a shot if the chance of failure and success is 50-50?
  4. Which one would you prefer; taking a luxurious trip alone or having a picnic with people you love?
  5. If your life was a book, what would the title be?
  6. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?
  7. What is your favorite day of the week and why?
  8. What do you do when you’re bored?
  9. Shoe size?
  10. Favorite color?
  11. Favorite band (or artist)?
  12. Favorite animal?
  13. Favorite food?
  14. One food you dislike?
  15. Favorite condiment?
  16. Favorite movie?
  17. Last movie you saw in a theater?
  18. Last book read?
  19. Best vacation?
  20. Favorite toy as a child?
  21. One item you should throw away, but probably never will?
  22. Superman, Batman, Spiderman, or Wonder Woman?
  23. Chocolate or vanilla?
  24. Morning person or night owl?
  25. Cats or dogs?
  26. Sweet or salty?
  27. Breakfast or dinner?
  28. Coffee or tea?
  29. American food, Italian food, Mexican food, Chinese food, or other?
  30. Clean or messy?
  31. What is your favorite breakfast food?
  32. What vegetable would you like to grow in a garden?
  33. Tell about a childhood game you loved.
  34. What’s your favorite dessert?
  35. What’s your favorite month of the year and why?
  36. Who is your favorite celebrity?
  37. Which celebrity do you most resemble?
  38. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
  39. Share about one of your hobbies.
  40. What’s a unique talent that you have?
  41. Introvert or extrovert?
  42. Describe yourself in three words.
  43. Tell about a happy childhood memory.
  44. Name three things (or people) that make you smile.

Questions to Explore Mental Health & Addiction

  1. On a scale from 1 to 10, where are you at in your recovery and what does that number mean to you?
  2. Tell about a healthy risk you have taken this week.
  3. What brought you to treatment?
  4. How has your life changed since getting clean and sober?
  5. What do you miss the most about drug/alcohol?
  6. What would your life be like if you weren’t addicted to something?
  7. What makes your addiction possible?
  8. What are your triggers?
  9. Name at least three ways you can cope with cravings.
  10. Name three of your relapse warning signs.
  11. Tell about someone who is supportive of your recovery.
  12. What’s one thing you wish everyone knew about mental illness?
  13. Is it okay to take medications if you’re in recovery?
  14. Is it possible to get clean/sober without AA or NA?
  15. Do you have a sponsor? What’s helpful and what’s not?
  16. Do you think you’re going to relapse?
  17. What’s the difference between helping and enabling?
  18. Tell about a time you were in denial.
  19. Do you have an enabler? Explain.
  20. Is it possible for someone in recovery for drugs to be a social drinker?
  21. How have drugs and alcohol affected your health?
  22. Is addiction a disease?

Questions to Explore Personal Development & Values

  1. Are you doing what you truly want in life?
  2. What are your aspirations in life?
  3. How many promises have you made this past year and how many of them have you fulfilled?
  4. Are you proud of what you’re doing with your life or what you’ve done in the past? Explain.
  5. Have you ever abandoned a creative idea that you believed in because others thought you were a fool? Explain.
  6. What would you prefer? Stable but boring work or interesting work with lots of workload?
  7. Are you making an impact or constantly being influenced by the world?
  8. Which makes you happier, to forgive someone or to hold a grudge? Explain.
  9. Who do you admire and why?
  10. What are your strengths?
  11. What are your weaknesses?
  12. Are you doing anything that makes you and people around you happy?
  13. Tell about a short-term goal you have.
  14. Tell about a health goal you have.
  15. Tell about a long-term goal you have.
  16. Tell about a value that is currently important to you.
  17. What do you like most about yourself?
  18. What do you like least about yourself?
  19. What in life brings you joy?
  20. What are you grateful for?
  21. Who is the most influential person in your life and why?
  22. Tell about one dream you have always had, but are too afraid to chase.
  23. What is something you want to change about yourself and what are two things you can do to accomplish this?
  24. Describe your perfect world. (Who would be in it, what would you be doing, etc.)
  25. Where were you one year ago, where are you now, and where do you want to be a year from today?
  26. Share about a character flaw you have.
  27. What kind of a person do you want to be?
  28. When is the last time you helped someone and what did you do?
  29. Tell about a problem you have right now. What can you do to solve it?

Family & Relationships

  1. Have you ever failed anyone who you loved or loved you? Explain.
  2. Who is your favorite person?
  3. What was it like growing up in your family?
  4. What makes someone a good friend?
  5. What happens when you’re rejected?
  6. What makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy?
  7. Would you rather break someone’s heart or have your heart broken?

Education & Career

  1. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up?
  2. Tell about something you do well.
  3. What’s your dream job?
  4. What are your career goals?
  5. What classes would you be most interested in taking?
  6. Tell about a job you would hate doing.
  7. Would you prefer to work with people or by yourself?
  8. Would you ever do a job that was dangerous if it paid a lot of money?
  9. Would you still work if you didn’t have to?
  10. What do you want to do when you retire?
  11. If you have a job, what do you like about it? Dislike?
  12. How do you deal with difficult co-workers?
  13. What qualities would you like your supervisor to have?

Emotions

  1. When was the last time you laughed, and what did you laugh at?
  2. If happiness was a currency, how rich would you be?
  3. How do you express happiness?
  4. What are three healthy ways you can cope with anger?
  5. What are three healthy ways you can cope with anxiety?
  6. What does being happy mean to you?
  7. If your mood was a weather forecast, what would it be?
  8. Tell about a time you were happy.
  9. Tell about a time you were heartbroken.
  10. What is the difference between guilt and shame?
  11. Is guilt a healthy emotion?
  12. Can guilt be excessive?
  13. Is there a such thing as “healthy shame”?
  14. What makes you happy?
  15. What makes you mad?
  16. When do you feel afraid?
  17. When do you feel lonely?
  18. Share about the last time you felt guilty.
  19. What embarrasses you?

Questions to Explore Spirituality

  1. How does one practice forgiveness (of self and others) from a religious point of view and from a non-religious point of view?
  2. What does it mean to forgive?
  3. Do you have to forgive to move forward?
  4. What brings you meaning in life?
  5. How do you define spirituality?
  6. What’s the difference between religion and spirituality?
  7. When do you feel most at peace?
  8. Do you meditate? Why or why not?

Additional Thought-Provoking Questions

  1. If you could travel to the past in a time machine, what advice would you give to the 6-year-old you?
  2. Would you break the rules because of something/someone you care about?
  3. Are you afraid of making mistakes? Why or why not?
  4. If you cloned yourself, which of your characteristics would you not want cloned?
  5. What’s the difference between you and most other people?
  6. Consider the thing you last cried about; does it matter to you now or will it matter to you 5 years from now?
  7. What do you need to let go of in life?
  8. Do you remember anyone you hated 10 years ago? Does it matter now?
  9. What are you worrying about and what happens if you stop worrying about it?
  10. If you died now, would you have any regrets?
  11. What’s the one thing you’re most satisfied with?
  12. If today was the end of the world, what would you do?
  13. What would you do if you won the lottery?
  14. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
  15. How do you think others see you?
  16. How do you get someone’s attention?
  17. What masks do you wear?
  18. Tell about a poor decision you made.
  19. When is the last time you failed at something? How did you handle it?

The free printable card below are based on the above questions. For more free printable cards and worksheets, see 50 Free Mental Health Worksheets & Handouts.


questions to explore

The Psychology of Motivation

What is the psychology behind motivation? This post examines the research on motivation and reviews the implications. The conclusion reached is contrary to what you may believe.

What is motivation? According to Merriam-Webster, to motivate is “to provide with a motive.” A motive is defined as “something (such as a need or desire) that causes a person to act.”

motivation

Motivation is highly sought after in today’s society; it’s the golden ticket to success. You would think achievement (as an end result) is motive enough, but this proves to be false. We desire success, but are often unable to maintain our drive. It fades away before goals are reached. For example, a dieter is initially motivated by weight loss, improved sleep, and increased energy; these are all powerful motivators. But it’s not enough. Why?

This article is about what it is that motivates us (and why that driving force is often short-lived). (Hint: There are no secrets, tricks, or hacks.)


The Psychology of Motivation

1. Motivation can be intrinsic (arise from within) or extrinsic (influenced by outside forces)

Intrinsic motivation is rewarded internally. An example of an intrinsic drive is pursuing the study of archeology because it holds a strong appeal or attraction. The behavior of engaging is the reward. Research establishes a strong link between interest and intrinsic motivation. Alternatively, extrinsic motivation refers to externally rewarded motives, such as writing a paper for a grade or performing well at work for a raise.

Practical application: If you’re looking to achieve a goal, but lack the drive, create an incentive. Be creative. Choose rewards that are meaningful.

2. The role of dopamine

Studies have found that dopamine, a neurotransmitter, plays a considerable role in drive. More recently, researchers have speculated there are specific areas in the brain responsible for motivation.

To consider: A lack of inspiration or drive could indicate chemical imbalance, especially if paired with feelings of sadness or hopelessness, fatigue, or thoughts of suicide. If debilitating, you may be depressed. Seek professional help.

3. Self-efficacy and perceived competence

Research indicates that if you believe you can accomplish something, you’re more likely to achieve it than if you doubt yourself. This is a reoccurring theme in motivation literature. Self-efficacy is key.

Practical application: Evaluate your confidence. Do you view yourself as capable? On a scale from 1-10, how confidant are you that you can achieve [insert your goal here]? You won’t maintain the motivation to lose weight if you believe you’ll always be heavy. Self-doubt is a trap. To cultivate self-efficacy, focus on your past accomplishments and successes. Reframe negative thoughts. (Instead of This is impossible, try This is difficult, but manageable.) Increase your self-efficacy by setting – and achieving – one or two easy goals.

4. Having a sense of control leads to greater motivation

If you believe that life “happens” to you or that you are powerless to circumstances, you have an external locus of control. (This is sometimes known as learned helplessness.) It’s difficult to sustain motivation with this view. We can’t control all the variables in life, but we can control our choices and reactions. We control who and what we allow to negatively impact us. This knowledge is empowering. It allows for motivation and can foster an increased sense of efficacy.

Practical application: List or think about some undesirable aspects of your life (rent, a car accident, a difficult colleague, etc.) Select one item from your list and then write ways you can exercise control. (For example, you can’t control a difficult co-worker, but you control what you say to them, how you respond to them, and so on.) Recognize that your decisions directly impact the quality of your life.

The greater the perceived value of an outcome, the stronger the motivation. If you value living in a tidy home, you will be motivated to clean. For someone who doesn’t mind a mess, a clean house holds little value.

Practical application: You want to save money, but struggle to see the immediate benefits. Create a list of all the ways saving can improve your life, both now and in the future. Consider what’s currently important to you. If it’s spending time with family, link that to saving money. (Extra savings mean you can afford to dine out or take vacations with your family.) By increasing outcome value, you may increase your level of motivation. Apply this principle to all aspects of your life.

6. Goals and deadlines are motivating

Define your outcome with a measurable goal and place a time limit on it. By defining exactly what you want (I want to lose 10 lbs.) and then giving yourself a deadline (in 3 months), you’re creating a blueprint. Having a goal map makes it easier to stay motivated by providing direction.

Practical application: When you need motivation, first consider the steps required to accomplish your goal. Be as specific as possible. And then create a deadline. (Note: Deadlines can be flexible. If you don’t meet your deadline, it’s easy to give up, leaving you the opposite of confident and effective. Instead, if a deadline isn’t met, push it back a week. Be reasonable. Revise your goal if needed. Remember to be solution-focused.)

7. Money is a motivator

Researchers discovered that cash is a driving force. Money is a classic example of an extrinsic motivator – and it’s effective. So how can you use this information?

Practical application: There are apps and programs that pay you to stay on track. An example is the Achievement app; you earn points for exercising, drinking water, sleeping, and doing other health-related activities. Once you earn 10,000, you receive $10. Additionally, the weight loss program HealthyWage pays you to lose weight. (Be careful – there’s also a chance you’ll lose money!) If you dread going to work, think about your paycheck. Lastly, to motivate employees, offer small bonuses or other cash incentives linked to performance.

8. Working together on a task enhances motivation

Working toward a common goal with a partner or a group seems to enhance motivation.

Practical application: This practice can be applied in the workplace or at school. Don’t work on projects alone; find someone who shares your enthusiasm. If you want to start an exercise routine, ask a friend (who also wants to get in shape) to hit the gym with you. It seems we’re able to inspire and motivate each other; when one person’s motivation wanes, the other’s kicks in.

9. The source of motivation changes as we pursue our goals

There’s something called “promotion” motivation. We’re good at setting goals and feeling motivated. Initially. Then, somewhere along the way, our motivation switches. It becomes “prevention” motivation. For example, the promotion motivation for losing weight may be fitting into a certain pair of jeans. When the jeans fit, the motivation becomes prevention motivation. Prevention motivation is harder to sustain.

To consider: Have a variety of motivational strategies. Recognize that motivation will change as you pursue your goals.

10. Once something becomes a habit, it persists long after motivation is gone

This may be the most valuable finding of all. With motivation, there are variables: Self-efficacy, deadlines, money, etc. A habit supersedes the variables. There will be times we lack motivation, no matter how effective we feel or how much we value the outcome. If we act out of habit, we don’t have to rely on motivation. Of course, the tricky part is creating a new habit. Habits, which are formed by repetition, reorganize information in your brain so that an action becomes automatic and is no longer tied to a motivational cue.

To consider: Researchers assert it can take anywhere from 15 to 254 days to form a habit. In addition to repetition, you must remove cues that trigger habits you’re trying to quit while adding cues that trigger desired behaviors.

In conclusion, there are many factors related to motivation including self-efficacy, outcome value, and financial incentive. Our motivation changes as we pursue goals, indicating the need for a variety of motivational strategies. We know that dopamine plays an important role and that there are structural regions in the brain responsible for motivation.


A friend of mine recently asked how I motivate myself to go to the gym when I get off work. “It has nothing to do with motivation,” I responded. “I just do it; it’s not an option not to.”

I’m fully aware I lack motivation. However, I recognize that motivation, while advantageous, is not a prerequisite for success. It’s too fickle; it lacks the staying power of habit and the might of determination.


Don’t rely on motivation to achieve your goals. Instead, invest in the determination it takes to form a habit.


motivation

  • References 
  • Society for Personality and Social Psychology. (2014, August 8). How we form habits, change existing ones. ScienceDaily. Retrieved February 8, 2018 from www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/08/140808111931.htm
  • Bandura, A., & Schunk, D. H. (1981). Cultivating competence, self-efficacy, and intrinsic interest through proximal self-motivation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 41(3), 586-598.
  • Bullard, O., & Manchanda, R. (2017). How goal progress influences regulatory focus in goal pursuit. Journal of Consumer Psychology, 27, 302–317.
  • Carr, P., & Walton, M. (2014). Cues of working together fuel intrinsic motivation. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 53, 169-184.
  • Gardner, B., Lally, P., & Wardle, J. (2012). Making health habitual: The psychology of “habit-formation” and general practice. The British Journal of General Practice, 62(605), 664–666.
  • Hsu, Y., Wang, S. D., Wang, S., Morton, G., Zariwala, H., de la Iglesia, H., & Turner, E. (2014). Role of the dorsal medial habenula in the regulation of voluntary activity, motor function, hedonic state, and primary reinforcement. The Journal of Neuroscience, 34(34), 11366 –11384.
  • Judge, T., & Ilies, R. (2002). Relationship of personality to performance motivation: A meta-analytic review. Journal of Applied Psychology, 87(4), 797–807.
  • Lai, E. (2011). Motivation: A literature review. https://images.pearsonassessments.com/images/tmrs/Motivation_Review_final.pdf
  • Landry, A., Gagné, M., Forest, J., Guerrero, S., Séguin , M., & Papachristopoulos, K. (2017). The relation between financial incentives, motivation, and performance: An integrative SDT-based investigation. Journal of Personnel Psychology, 16, 61-76.
  • Lunenburg, F. (2011). Goal-setting theory of motivation. International Journal Of Management, Business, and Administration, 15(1), 1-6.
  • Margolis, H., & McCabe, P. (2006). Improving self-efficacy and motivation: What to do, what to say. Intervention in School and Clinic, 41(4), 218-227.
  • Pajares, F. (2010). Self-efficacy beliefs, motivation, and achievement in writing: A review of the literature. Published online, 139-158.
  • Pintrich, P. (2003). A motivational science perspective on the role of student motivation in learning and teaching contexts. Journal of Educational Psychology, 95, 667-686.
  • Salamone, J. et al. (2012). The mysterious motivational functions of mesolimbic dopamine. Neuron, 76(3), 470-485.
  • Zimmerman, B., Bandura, A., & Martinez-Pons, M. (1992). Self-motivation for academic attainment: The role of self-efficacy beliefs and personal goal setting. American Educational Research Journal, 29(3), 663-676.

4 Keys to a Positive Mindset

This is a list of four simple keys to developing a more positive mindset.

What are the keys to a positive mindset? In this article, I’ll discuss four simple ways for improving efficacy and managing expectations, and as a result, developing a more balanced outlook.

keys to a positive mindset

Upon learning I’m a therapist, people like to ask for advice. “What do you think I should do about _______________________________?

Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer you’re looking for. And contrary to popular belief, a counselor won’t tell you how to fix your problems.

You are the expert on you. When you bring that expertise with you to therapy and begin to form a collaborative partnership with your therapist, that’s when the process of growth happens.

While I could provide you with a piece of advice, it wouldn’t be what you wanted to hear; counter-arguments would be forming in your head while I speak.

Instead of me telling you what to do, you decide what to do. Not only are you the expert on all things you, you hold the answers to all your problems; they’re just locked away.  And sometimes, all it takes is a simple remark from your therapist for everything to click into place. You have a sudden epiphany or a lightbulb moment of clarity. You realize you’ve known what you need to do; it just took a bit of guidance and support to get there.

While particularly effective at generating lightbulb moments, therapy is not the only way. The “Aha!” moment can be anything, and it can happen in a classroom, while reading a book, at a concert, etc. Sometimes all it takes is a simple remark to change your mindset.


The following is a list of keys that clicked for me. They’re simple – yet lifechanging – keys to a positive mindset.

Four Keys to a Positive Mindset

1. Say what you mean.

How many times have you provided an explanation using partial truths? For example, you cancel on a friend, claiming a migraine. Your head may hurt, but at the same time, you’re embarrassed to go to the bar with her. She can’t seem to go out without getting obnoxiously drunk. Another example would be a wife who tells her husband, “I’m fine,” when she’s not. In both examples, truth is avoided.

When you don’t say what you mean, you deprive yourself. You’ll feel frustrated, and you may lose the chance to explore deeper issues. Your communication becomes second-rate. And if you find yourself saying what you think someone wants to hear, that’s not communicating; the point is to understand each other, not to mislead or appease.

Saying what you mean is one of the keys to a positive mindset; it’s freeing and it allows you to live an authentic life.

2. Just say, ‘okay.’

This is about not engaging with that one person who pushes your buttons (or with your own irrational thoughts).

I’ll use myself as an example. One day, I received an email from my supervisor, instructing me to complete a task ASAP… a task I knew I had finished three days ago. Initially, I panicked, second-guessing myself.

After some investigating, I found that I had indeed completed the task. So, why, why would he send that email? I started silently fuming to myself. How dare he?! Of course I’d completed the task… three days ago when it was due. What, does he think I sit around all day doing nothing? Why would he think I hadn’t done it? Crap… maybe he thinks I’m incompetent? And why wouldn’t he check before sending an email?

I was on an emotional roller coaster. In the span of 5 minutes, I went from panic to self-doubt to a brief moment of relief to self-righteousness to a sense of indignation and then fell to a state of irritation.

I typed and retyped my response to my supervisor.

Draft 1: “Yes, the task was completed three days ago when it was due. Had you checked, you would have known this.” (Too passive aggressive.)

Draft 2: “Thanks for the reminder, but it was completed on [date] at [time]. I can show you how to access the file to view it in case you don’t know how.” (Condescending.)

Draft 3: “Thanks for your email. The project was completed on [date] at [time]. Let me know if you need a copy.”

I asked a co-worker to look it over; I didn’t want my indignation to somehow spill over. (But I needed it to be clear to my boss that I had completed my assignment. On time. Without him asking me to.)

My colleague laughed and asked, “Why don’t you just tell him, ‘okay,’ and leave it at that?”

And she was right. I had allowed myself to get all worked up over something small. I allowed my irrational self (and insecurities) to take over, completely taking me out of my space. Why did I feel like I had to prove myself? The project was done, which is what mattered.

Another case for “okay” is the unhappily married couple who fight constantly. They argue to the point of shouting because neither wants the other to “win.” They can’t let the other have the last word because it would mean admitting defeat, that they were in the wrong. They have to prove themselves, no matter the cost. Instead of arguing every little thing, they could save their energy (and peace of mind – possibly, their marriage) by just saying, “okay,” and leaving it at that.

By linking your self-concept to how others perceive you, your identity is threatened by the idea of admitting defeat. (But you don’t have to live that way anymore!) Instead of feeding into the argument, especially when you’re provoked, just say, “okay,” and leave it at that.

Furthermore, if there’s a toxic person in your life, for example, an ex that you co-parent with, don’t respond to a provoking text or to a barb. You gain nothing by proving you’re right (other than maybe a self-important spark of satisfaction). In the end, you’re still the loser because you took the bait and allowed someone else to orchestrate your emotions.

Don’t sacrifice your peace of mind; just say, “okay,” one of the keys to a positive mindset.

3. This is nothing you can’t handle.

It may not seem like much, but this key lays the foundation for change. It empowers you. A seemingly unsolvable problem can be broken down into manageable solutions. A catastrophe becomes a challenge, not defeat. You don’t have to be a victim when you can be a survivor.

When faced with the impossible, we panic. Our emotional mind has all the control while the rational mind fades to the background. However, the rational mind can be coaxed back from hiding with guidance.

The next time you feel helpless and are thinking, “This is impossible,” remind yourself it’s nothing you can’t handle. This is one of the keys to a positive mindset. Once you’re in that frame of mind, the solutions will come more easily.

4. Always take ownership.

I’ve made many mistakes. It’s uncomfortable to admit when I mess up. Sometimes there are even consequences.

This fourth key is about owning your actions, especially when you make a poor decision. You’re going to make mistakes. Don’t make excuses. Admit fault and apologize when needed.

By placing the blame on someone or something else, you stunt personal growth. You’ll continue to make the same mistakes (because it will never be your fault).

You can’t live an authentic life without taking ownership, nor will you gain the respect of others. Be authentic; take ownership of your mistakes (and achievements!)


If reading about these four keys to a positive mindset “sparked” something for you, think about the changes you need to make in your own life to experience a positive mindset.

key statements

37 Simple Things You Can Do for a More Meaningful Life

A unique list of 37 ideas for personal growth; simple (and fun!) ways to lead a a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

If we don’t strive to meet our goals and improve on a regular basis, we become stagnant. And if we aren’t growing and learning, our minds become lethargic. This is an article about 37 simple things you can do to prevent stagnation for a more meaningful life.


According the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA), there are eight dimensions of wellness:

1. Emotional—Coping effectively with life and creating satisfying relationships

2. Environmental—Good health by occupying pleasant, stimulating environments that support well-being

3. Financial—Satisfaction with current and future financial situations

4. Intellectual—Recognizing creative abilities and finding ways to expand knowledge and skills

5. Occupational—Personal satisfaction and enrichment from one’s work

6. Physical—Recognizing the need for physical activity, healthy foods, and sleep

7. Social—Developing a sense of connection, belonging, and a well-developed support system

8. Spiritual—Expanding a sense of purpose and meaning in life


Find additional SAMHSA links in the Links section of this site. SAMHSA is the agency within the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services that leads public health efforts to advance the behavioral health of the nation.


In order to maintain balance and live a meaningful life, it helps to have a variety of wellness strategies in your toolbox. The following list is comprised of 37 ideas for personal/professional development, self-improvement, and creating healthy habits.

37 Simple Things You Can Do for a More Meaningful Life

1. Read one inspirational/motivational book per month or

2. Read one wellness article per week for a more meaningful life.

3. Take advantage of free classes offered at the library or through Coursera. (Coursera provides universal access to education by partnering with top universities and organizations.)

4. Take part in a new activity or event to step outside your comfort zone. (Examples: Join a book club, take a cooking class, attend a Meetup, etc.)

5. Make time for an old friend for a more meaningful life.

6. Develop an exercise routine, write it down, and then stick with it. No excuses!

7. Walk your dog (or borrow one from a friend!)

8. Complete household tasks and chores on a daily basis. Create a chore list. Don’t procrastinate!

9. Stay informed on the latest science and health news/research with sites like Science Daily.

10. Attend a workshop to learn about a topic you’re unfamiliar with.

11. Prioritize sleep hygiene.

12. Improve your posture. (And yes, there are apps for that!)

13. Read a non-fiction book.

14. Take a daily inventory; assess your attitude, productivity, etc. before going to bed.

15. Drink more water, green tea, and black coffee. (And drink less wine, beer, sugar-sweetened beverages, and soda!)

16. Practice active listening.

17. Overcome a fear.

18. Identify your “blind spots” by soliciting feedback from a trusted friend or loved one. They can help you to recognize areas for improvement by sharing their observations. (Example: You may not realize how often you complain until someone points it out for you.) Make a commitment to change.

19. Find a mentor (or be a mentor!)

20. Complete a 30-day challenge to improve your mental and/or physical health.

21. Live a meaningful life with daily meditation and mindfulness. Spend a few quiet moments alone every morning, drinking a cup of coffee. Or journal before going to bed. Reflect on your day and think about what you’re grateful for. Practice deep breathing exercises or listen to guided imagery scripts. Create your own unique ritual.

22. Dress up, style your hair, apply makeup, get a manicure/pedicure/facial, wear sexy shoes or your favorite jacket… Alternatively, you may prefer to put on your comfiest clothes, sweatpants or a fuzzy sweater. Whatever makes you feel good!

23. Be optimistic. Catch yourself if you start complaining and reframe your thoughts. Always assume positive intent.

24. Complete a task you’ve been putting off.

25. Watch a TED Talks.

26. Cook and enjoy a healthy meal.

27. Learn to juggle.

28. Learn a foreign language (or sign language).

29. Practice random acts of kindness, give a spontaneous gift, or help a stranger.

30. Create a vision board.

31. Volunteer.

32. Be a tourist in your hometown. (Free walking tours are often available in larger cities!)

33. Donate blood or plasma.

34. Memorize the lyrics to a song (or rap) of your choice.

35. Find a Pinterest project that interests you. Pin it and then do it!

36. Pick up trash in your neighborhood.

37. Write and mail “thinking of you” cards/postcards.


Additional ideas for a more meaningful life: Run a 5K (or 10K!) Adopt an elderly pet that needs a home.


Comment with your best ideas for living a more meaningful life.

meaningful life

30 Thirty-Day Challenges!

A unique list of wellness-based thirty-day challenges.

There are plenty of 30-day challenges out there, but this post is unique in that all of the challenges listed are wellness-based. This is a list of 30 exciting ideas for thirty-day challenges.

30 Thirty-Day Challenges

Difficulty Level – Easy

1. Give one compliment per day

2. 30 days of flossing

3. Five minutes of mindful breathing every day

4. 30 days of gratitude journaling

5. Set sleep schedule for 30 days

6. 30 days of Matcha or green tea

7. Learn a new vocabulary word every day for 30 days

8. Daily act of kindness

9. Read a random Wikipedia article every day for 30 days

10. 30-day dog walk challenge

11. Write a daily poem or short story

12. No cursing for 30 days

13. Pray (or spend time in quiet reflection) every morning

14. Watch a TED Talks (or similar) every day

Difficulty Level – Medium

15. 30-day vegan challenge

16. 30 days of following a strict budget (no “wants,” only “needs”)

17. 30-day gym challenge

18. 30-day documentary challenge

19. 30-days of cleaning and organization; the decluttered home challenge

20. No fast food, no carryout, and no dining out for 30 days

21. Write a book chapter daily

Difficulty Level – Hard

22. 30-day art challenge (one drawing or painting per day)

23. 30-day Pinterest challenge (one Pinterest project a day)

24. No social media

25. 30 days of no caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or other substances

26. No driving for a month

Difficulty Level – Nearly Impossible

27. No cell phone or Internet (except for work-related use); the 30-day unplugged challenge

28. One hour of daily exercise

29. 50 sits ups or crunches daily

30. Sugar-free challenge


Post your ideas for a 30-day challenge in a comment!


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