Have you ever worked with someone who is consistently rude, passive-aggressive, offensive, or malicious? Incivility at work is increasingly common and on the rise. Rude coworkers, along with bullies and abusive employees, contribute to a toxic work environment.
What does workplace rudeness look like? According to Wikipedia, rudeness is “a display of disrespect by not complying with the social norms or etiquette of a group or culture.”
Examples of Rude Behavior at Work
Insulting or using derogatory language
Taking credit for someone else’s work
Asking inappropriate questions
Being consistently late and/or not calling to notify coworkers when running late
Leaving work early on a regular basis
Microwaving food with a strong or unpleasant odor
Interrupting or speaking over someone
Texting during a meeting or taking/making personal calls in a shared space
Sending passive-aggressive emails
Playing music or being noisy in a shared space
Eating a coworker’s food (or using the last of something and not replacing it)
Omitters: These individuals lack the capacity to effectively self-regulate their actions. They unintentionally breach rules and policies.
Slippers: These are employees who occasionally engage in single acts of counterproductive work behavior, such as rudeness, eating someone else’s lunch, etc.
Retaliators: These are individuals who deliberately act in ways that are harmful to the organization (i.e., bullying, stealing office supplies).
Serial Transgressors: These employees engage in a wide array of counterproductive behaviors, such as undermining a manager’s authority or not following safety protocols.
All four of the above identified types can be rude, offensive, and/or malicious at work. Ideally, a manager reduces counterproductive behaviors (or removes the offender), but that doesn’t always happen, especially if the manager is ineffective (or is themselves the offender).
The following are tips for dealing with rude coworkers.
10 Strategies for Dealing with Rude Coworkers
1. Practice daily self-care. When running on empty, your ability to exercise self-control is diminished.
2. If possible, don’t engage with rude coworkers when you’re in a mentally bad space. Wait until you’re in a better mood; this increases the likelihood of having a productive conversation. If the conversation can’t wait, ask a trusted colleague to be present to provide support.
3. If the rudeness takes place in the form of interrupting or speaking over you, politely point it out as it is happening. Ask your coworker not to do it, and explain how the behavior impacts you. (Your request carries more weight with the added explanation.) For example, say “I lose my train of thought when you interrupt” or “I feel disrespected when you speak over me.” Speak up every time the behavior happens. (If you set a boundary, and then don’t adhere to it, it becomes worthless.)
5. Don’t gossip about rude colleagues. This only contributes to a toxic climate. Instead of focusing on a solution, you’re adding to the problem.
6. When dealing with rude emails, either outright or passive (i.e., not answering a question, ignoring a request, using boldface or all caps, etc.), API! Assume Positive Intent. An email’s tone is easily misinterpreted. Also, before sending your reply, have a trusted colleague proofread the email. (And only reply if necessary; if you don’t need to respond, don’t!)
If possible, delete the original offensive email from your inbox to avoid rereading it and experiencing the anger or hurt all over again; find a way to detach. Lastly, forward outright rude or offensive emails to your supervisor. Share your interpretation and ask for suggestions. To avoid sending a potentially rude email, provide a disclaimer, such as “I wrote this at 5 AM!” or use emojis and punctuation to convey emotion. (Sometimes, a smiley face makes all the difference.)
7. Seek training on dealing with difficult people and/or reach out to your EAP (employee assistance program) for resources.
9. Report rude coworkers to your manager or supervisor. If you don’t feel comfortable with this (or if your supervisor is the offender), speak to your manager’s manager.
If concerned it will be perceived as tattling, say that it’s something you would want to know if you were in their position. Explain that you thought it over carefully, and concluded it was important enough to bring to them. (You’ll be viewed as someone who wants to help, not someone who is tattling on a coworker for selfish motives.) Also, be sure to provide specific examples of the offensive behavior and how it affected you. Don’t complain; be as objective as possible. Finally, ask for their advice; this demonstrates that not only are you humble, you’re solution-focused.
10. Request to meet with the offender (in private), and openly share how their behavior impacts you. Use “I” statements, avoid accusing, and don’t assume malicious intent. Also, approach the conversation with lowered expectations; you can’t know how your coworker will react. They may become angry, indignant, anxious, resentful, or withdrawn. They might shout, belittle you, minimize, or deny any offense. They may refuse to talk, and walk away.
Alternately, you might be pleasantly surprised at how the conversation unfolds. You may learn that your peer is going through a tough divorce or was recently diagnosed with cancer. (There could be a reason behind their “bad” behavior; hurt people hurt people.) They could even be unaware of their offensiveness. (For example, someone might not realize their tone is condescending.) At the end of the day, while the outcome may not be the one you hoped for, you at least did your part.
“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”
Eric Hoffer
In sum, the harmful effects of workplace rudeness are far-reaching. Incivility at work can negatively impact productivity, motivation, emotional health, and relationships. Rude behavior is also contagious; to avoid spreading incivility, practice regular self-care, including gratitude and meditation, and maintain self-awareness.
A list of resources for finding happiness (including sites with free articles, assessments, videos, etc., free PDF workbooks, and free online courses!)
Authentic Happiness | A University of Pennsylvania website developed by the Positive Psychology Center with resources including readings, videos, research, questionnaires, and more
Center for Healthy Minds | A University of Wisconsin-Madison website with a mission to “cultivate well-being and relieve suffering through a scientific understanding of the mind”
Feeling Good | A David D. Burns website with free articles, assessments, podcasts, and more
A 35-page PDF coloring book from Rec Therapy Today. Most of the coloring sheets are images of animals, including a panda, a peacock, a Pegasus, a dolphin, and more!
A modest collection of printable free coloring sheets. Color a bird mandala or an enchanted fairy! There are also several holiday-themed coloring pages.
A 51-page PDF coloring book with 31 mandala designs from the site Healing from Burnout. The coloring book includes 8 bonus templates for creating your own designs!
A collection of coloring books from Coloring Craze. The books aren’t free, but you can download sample free coloring pages. Books include Motivational Quotes & Phrases, 30 Day of the Dead Coloring Pages, and Stress Relieving & Relaxing Patterns series.
A collection of free coloring books from libraries and other cultural institutions from around the world. Download and print coloring pages from the New York Academy of Medicine Library, the Getty Research Institute, the Folger Shakespeare Library, and many more!
Photographer Louise Lawler worked with children’s book illustrator Jon Buller to create this unique 12-page coloring book. Each page is a black-and-white version of one of her photographs of places where art is displayed.
A small collection of printable coloring sheets. Choose from designs such as “Art with Edge Sugar Skulls,” “Lennon and McCartney Yellow Submarine,” or “InSPIRALed.”
Free coloring sheets and books to print. You can download coloring books like “Forest Animals,” “Zentangle Horses,” “Beautiful Women Portraits,” and “Floral Fantasy” (among others) or print coloring pages (including color-by-number!) from a variety of categories (mammals, fruits, fantasy, stories, space, etc.)
Free downloadable coloring book (from the Public Domain Review site) with 20 images from a wide range of artists, including Hokusai, Albrecht Dürer, Harry Clarke, Virginia Frances Sterrett, Jessie M. King, and Aubrey Beardsley.
Links to additional sites with free coloring pages, including coloring pages representing the works of famous artists. (Thank you to Anna Fox for submitting this resource!)
Babouchkina, A., & Robbins, S. J. (2015). Reducing negative mood through mandala creation: A randomized controlled trial. Art Therapy, 32(1), 34-39.
Bell, C. E., & Robbins, S. J. (2007). Effect of art production on negative mood: A randomized, controlled trial. Art Therapy, 24(2), 71-75.
Curry, N. A., & Kasser, T. (2005). Can coloring mandalas reduce anxiety? Art Therapy, 22(2), 81-85.
Eaton J., & Tieber, C. (2017). The effects of coloring on anxiety, mood, and perseverance. Art Therapy, 34(1), 42-46.
Henderson, P., Rosen, D., & Mascaro, N. (2007). Empirical study on the healing nature of mandalas. Psychology of Aesthetics, Creativity, and the Arts, 1(3), 148–154.
Muthard, C., & Gilbertson, R. (2016). Stress management in young adults: Implications of mandala coloring on self-reported negative affect and psychophysiological response. Psi Chi Journal of Psychological Research, 21(1), 16-28.
Small, S. R. (2006). Anxiety reduction: Expanding previous research on mandala coloring. The Undergraduate Journal of Psychology, 19(1), 15-21.
van der Vennet, R., & Serice, S. (2012). Can coloring mandalas reduce anxiety? A replication study. Art Therapy, 29(2), 87-92.
This is a list of 9 evidence-based strategies for developing self-confidence, including a resource section with helpful links, articles, and free PDFs.
How do we develop self-confidence? Early childhood experiences with parents (or caretakers) shape how we view ourselves and our capabilities. A child whose parents are supportive and encouraging develops a sense of self-efficacy; they feel nurtured and secure. In contrast, children who are neglected or abused may be fearful or uncertain.
Peer relationships also impact the development of confidence; positive social interactions foster self-assurance and high self-esteem. Conversely, a child who is rejected or teased may experience a sense of unworthiness or feel unsure about their abilities.
Once a child develops low self-worth, it can be difficult to bounce back. Children who are ostracized or bullied by their playmates become hesitant to initiate or engage in play. The absence of peer socialization leads to further isolation. As a result, critical social skills are not learned, making the child an even less desirable playfellow, which only reinforces the belief that they’re undeserving.
Lack of Self-Confidence
The patterns formed in early childhood tend to repeat themselves. A child who never develops a sense of competence will not grow up to be a confident, self-reliant adult.
“For in every adult there dwells the child that was, and in every child there lies the adult that will be.”
John Connolly
Traits of low self-confidence include discounting yourself and doubting your capacity for effectiveness. A person who lacks self-assurance may believe they’re inferior to others. They may experience anxiety or depression and struggle with learned helplessness (the belief that one has no control over what happens to them in life).
A lack of confidence can also lead to fear of rejection or criticism. Constructive feedback can feel like a personal attack. This person may have trouble accepting compliments or expressing their opinion.
When someone is highly insecure, they avoid social events. They’re more likely to be bullied at work or involved with an abusive partner. As a result, their relationships and overall quality of life suffer.
Self-Confident Traits
In contrast, someone who is self-confident views themselves as competent; they feel good about themselves. They have a positive outlook on life and are generally optimistic. A self-confident person is often resilient and able to quickly recover after experiencing setbacks.
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”
Blake Lively
10 Traits of Self-Confident People
1. Genuine
2. Optimistic and positive
3. Ask questions and are eager to learn
4. Open to feedback and constructive criticism
5. Take healthy risks
6. Able to laugh at self
7. Don’t internalize failure
8. Take ownership (of both successes and mistakes)
9 Effective Strategies for Developing Self-Confidence
1. Correct cognitive distortions
A cognitive distortion is an error in thinking or a self-defeating belief that is not an accurate reflection of reality. Cognitive distortions impact how we view ourselves and our abilities. For example, black-and-white (or all-or-nothing) thinking is a distortion of “absolutes” (i.e. “If I fail at something, I’ll fail at everything”).
By replacing irrational views with ones that are reality-based, you’ll feel more confident. (See 50 Common Cognitive Distortions for a list of thinking errors from Psychology Today.)
2. Adjust your attitude
Your overall perspective greatly impacts confidence. If you’re generally negative and believe that failure is inevitable, it will become your reality. Instead, practice optimism and gratitude. A positive attitude enhances self-confidence.
“Self-belief does not necessarily ensure success, but self-disbelief assuredly spawns failure.“
Albert Bandura
3. Track your achievements
Is optimism challenging due to circumstances, barriers, or obstacles? Try creating a list of all the things you’re proud of – your biggest accomplishments in life. Did you graduate college? Quit smoking? Pay off a loan? Raise a child? Earn an award? To enhance self-confidence, take pride in your successes. Review the list often and update it with successive achievements.
4. Identify talents, skills, and knowledge
In addition to acknowledging accomplishments, recognize your unique talents, skills, and knowledge. What are you good at? What are your areas of expertise? Instead of lamenting a lack of athleticism, relish in your ability to make others laugh or your mastery of the Dothraki language.
5. mistakes happen
You’re only human after all, and as a human, you are going to make mistakes. You will never achieve perfection, so let go of unrealistic standards or expectations you have for yourself. Also, don’t beat yourself up for your mistakes; be kind to yourself… and be wise. When you mess up, own it, and then learn from the error. Every mistake is a growth opportunity; you only fail when you give up.
6. Don’t compare out
(Or if you do, compare yourself to others who lack what you have!) There will always be people who are better off and there will always be people who have it worse than you. To build confidence, use yourself as the measure for success, not someone else.
7. Fake it till you make it (“act as if”)
To feel confident, act confident! Be intentional in your speech, actions, and how you carry yourself. Act like you know what you’re doing, and people will believe it, which in turn will influence how you feel about yourself. Just like thoughts have the power to alter behaviors, behaviors can impact thoughts and beliefs.
“I taught myself confidence. When I’d walk into a room and feel scared to death, I’d tell myself, ‘I’m not afraid of anybody.’ And people believed me. You’ve got to teach yourself to take over the world.”
Priyanka Chopra
8. Seek support
Ask for help when you need it. Rely on trusted family and friends for support and encouragement. (It should also be noted that if you have a mental illness, you may require professional help. Feelings of worthlessness, panic, and extreme self-consciousness are examples of symptoms that interfere with someone’s ability to feel confident; they can be treated with psychotherapy and/or medication.)
When you’re tired or rundown, it’s difficult to feel good about yourself. It’s also true that you won’t function as well when your basic needs aren’t met. If a vehicle is not well-maintained, its performance suffers; the same is true for people. Eat healthy foods, get adequate rest, drink plenty of water, exercise daily, and seek treatment when ill.
Everyone is good at something. Recognize your unique abilities, and take pride in them. Allow yourself to feel confident; life is too short for inaction related to self-doubt.
At the same time, assess and remain aware of areas for growth. Strive for self-improvement; be assured that you can learn new skills and make positive changes in your life.
References
Andersen, L.P., Labriola, M., Andersen, J.H. et al. Bullied at school, bullied at work: a prospective study. BMC Psychol 3, 35 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-015-0092-1
Bellis, M.A., Hardcastle, K., Ford, K. et al. Does continuous trusted adult support in childhood impart life-course resilience against adverse childhood experiences – a retrospective study on adult health-harming behaviours and mental well-being. BMC Psychiatry 17, 110 (2017). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-017-1260-z
Suzuki, H., Tomoda, A. Roles of attachment and self-esteem: impact of early life stress on depressive symptoms among Japanese institutionalized children. BMC Psychiatry 15, 8 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-015-0385-1
University at Buffalo. (2017, August 7). How pronouns can be used to build confidence in stressful situations: Self-distancing language can help us ‘see’ ourselves through someone else’s eyes. ScienceDaily. Retrieved November 19, 2020 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2017/08/170807111459.htm
(Updated 9/22/22) This resource list for anger management includes 75+ articles/guides; free anger assessments (both interactive and PDF formats); free printable workbooks, manuals, handouts, and worksheets; treatment planning resources; research articles/dissertations; and recommended mobile apps.
Please share this resource with anyone you think would benefit!
Anger Management: Client Handbook Series (Source: Carleton University, Criminal Justice Decision Making Laboratory, & Ontario Ministry of Community Safety and Correctional Services, 13 pages)
Stress is the body’s reaction to an event or situation. Primarily a physiological response, stress is also experienced psychologically (i.e. worry). Too much stress is associated with mental health issues and chronic health problems.
Because we often have no control over stressors in our lives, it’s important to effectively manage stress.
Here are eight fast-acting stress relievers for short-term relief. (Click here for additional mood boosters.)
Less time sitting = Better mood and stress relief. A recent study found that replacing sedentary behavior with sleep or light exercise (i.e. walking, gardening, etc.) improved mood. Substituting sleep was associated with decreased stress levels in addition to enhanced mood.
Keep a plant in your office and place it where it’s easy to see for stress relief. Tending for and gazing at a small indoor plant may reduce stress during the workday.
You’ll feel more relaxed and less stressed after receiving a head-and-neck or neck-and-shoulder massage. One study found that participants experienced reduced rates of both physiological and psychological stress after 10 minutes of massage.
Casual flirting and light-hearted banter at work may alleviate stress. Research indicates that engaging in flirtatious behaviors can lead to positive feelings about self while enhancing mood.
Drinking Matcha green tea may lead to feeling less stressed. Researchers found that mice who consumed Matcha powder or extract experienced reductions in anxiety.
When faced with a stressful situation, have your significant other present to ease your anxiety. If your partner is unavailable, visualize him/her; simply thinking of a significant other has comparable positive effects on blood pressure and stress reactivity.
Frequent laughter seems to be a buffer for stress; people who laugh a lot experience fewer stress-related symptoms. Researchers found that the more someone laughed, the less likely they were to feel stressed.
Amazon Description: “After surviving nearly a decade of heroin abuse and hard living on the streets of San Francisco’s Tenderloin District, Tracey Helton Mitchell decided to get clean for good.
With raw honesty and a poignant perspective on life that only comes from starting at rock bottom, The Big Fix tells her story of transformation from homeless heroin addict to stable mother of three—and the hard work and hard lessons that got her there. Rather than dwelling on the pain of addiction,Tracey focuses on her journey of recovery and rebuilding her life, while exposing the failings of the American rehab system and laying out a path for change. Starting with the first step in her recovery, Tracey re-learns how to interact with men, build new friendships, handle money, and rekindle her relationship with her mother, all while staying sober, sharp, and dedicated to her future.
A decidedly female story of addiction, The Big Fix describes the unique challenges faced by women caught in the grip of substance abuse, such as the toxic connection between drug addition and prostitution. Tracey’s story of hope, hard work, and rehabilitation will inspire anyone who has been affected by substance abuse while offering hope for a better future.”
Amazon Description: “In powerful parallel stories, mother and daughter give mesmerizing first-person accounts of the nightmare that shattered their family and the amazing journey they took to find their way back to each other. Claire Fontaine’s relentless cross-country search for her missing child and ultimate decision to force her into treatment in Eastern Europe is a gripping tale of dead ends, painful revelations, and, at times, miracles. Mia Fontaine describes her refuge in the seedy underworld of felons and addicts as well as the jarring shock of the extreme, if loving, school that enabled her to overcome depression and self-loathing. Both women detail their remarkable process of self-examination and healing with humor and unsparing honesty.
Come Back is an unforgettable true story of love and transformation that will resonate with mothers and daughters everywhere.”
Amazon Description: “It was love at first sight. The beads of moisture on a chilled bottle. The way the glasses clinked and the conversation flowed. Then it became obsession. The way she hid her bottles behind her lover’s refrigerator. The way she slipped from the dinner table to the bathroom, from work to the bar. And then, like so many love stories, it fell apart. Drinking is Caroline Kapp’s harrowing chronicle of her twenty-year love affair with alcohol.”
Amazon Description: “Hamill explains how alcohol slowly became a part of his life, and how he ultimately left it behind. Along the way, he summons the mood of an America that is gone forever, with the bittersweet fondness of a lifelong New Yorker.”
Amazon Description: “Three years after giving up drinking, Jowita Bydlowska found herself throwing back a glass of champagne like it was ginger ale. It was a special occasion: a party celebrating the birth of her first child. It also marked Bydlowska’s immediate, full-blown return to crippling alcoholism.
In the gritty and sometimes grimly comic tradition of the bestselling memoirs Lit by Mary Karr and Smashed by Koren Zailckas, Drunk Mom is Bydlowska’s account of the ways substance abuse took control of her life—the binges and blackouts, the humiliations, the extraordinary risk-taking—as well as her fight toward recovery as a young mother. This courageous memoir brilliantly shines a light on the twisted logic of an addicted mind and the powerful, transformative love of one’s child. Ultimately it gives hope, especially to those struggling in the same way.”
Amazon Description: “You may not know it, but you’ve met Augusten Burroughs. You’ve seen him on the street, in bars, on the subway, at restaurants: a twentysomething guy, nice suit, works in advertising. Regular. Ordinary. But when the ordinary person had two drinks, Augusten was circling the drain by having twelve; when the ordinary person went home at midnight, Augusten never went home at all. Loud, distracting ties, automated wake-up calls and cologne on the tongue could only hide so much for so long. At the request (well, it wasn’t really a request) of his employers, Augusten lands in rehab, where his dreams of group therapy with Robert Downey Jr. are immediately dashed by grim reality of fluorescent lighting and paper hospital slippers. But when Augusten is forced to examine himself, something actually starts to click and that’s when he finds himself in the worst trouble of all. Because when his thirty days are up, he has to return to his same drunken Manhattan life―and live it sober. What follows is a memoir that’s as moving as it is funny, as heartbreaking as it is true. Dry is the story of love, loss, and Starbucks as a Higher Power.”
Amazon Description: “Kaysen’s memoir encompasses horror and razor-edged perception while providing vivid portraits of her fellow patients and their keepers. It is a brilliant evocation of a “parallel universe” set within the kaleidoscopically shifting landscape of the late sixties. Girl, Interrupted is a clear-sighted, unflinching document that gives lasting and specific dimension to our definitions of sane and insane, mental illness and recovery.”
Amazon Description: “When Mötley Crüe was at the height of its fame, there wasn’t any drug Nikki Sixx wouldn’t do. He spent days—sometimes alone, sometimes with other addicts, friends, and lovers—in a coke- and heroin-fueled daze.
The highs were high, and Nikki’s journal entries reveal some euphoria and joy. But the lows were lower, often ending with Nikki in his closet, surrounded by drug paraphernalia and wrapped in paranoid delusions.
Here, Nikki shares the diary entries—some poetic, some scatterbrained, some bizarre—of those dark times. Joining him are Tommy Lee, Vince Neil, Mick Mars, Slash, Rick Nielsen, Bob Rock, and a host of ex-managers, ex-lovers, and more.
Brutally honest, utterly riveting, and surprisingly moving, The Heroin Diaries follows Nikki during the year he plunged to rock bottom—and his courageous decision to pick himself up and start living again.”
Amazon Description: “Lit follows the self-professed blackbelt sinner’s descent into the inferno of alcoholism and madness–and to her astonishing resurrection. Karr’s longing for a solid family seems secure when her marriage to a handsome, Shakespeare-quoting blueblood poet produces a son they adore. But she can’t outrun her apocalyptic past. She drinks herself into the same numbness that nearly devoured her charismatic but troubled mother, reaching the brink of suicide. A hair-raising stint in ‘The Mental Marriott,’ with an oddball tribe of gurus and saviors, awakens her to the possibility of joy and leads her to an unlikely faith. Not since Saint Augustine cried, ‘Give me chastity, Lord-but not yet!’ has a conversion story rung with such dark hilarity. Lit is about getting drunk and getting sober, becoming a mother by letting go of a mother, learning to write by learning to live. Written with Karr’s relentless honesty, unflinching self-scrutiny, and irreverent, lacerating humor, it is a truly electrifying story of how to grow up–as only Mary Karr can tell it.”
Amazon Description: “Loose Girl is Kerry Cohen’s captivating memoir about her descent into promiscuity and how she gradually found her way toward real intimacy. The story of addiction–not just to sex, but to male attention–Loose Girl is also the story of a young girl who came to believe that boys and men could give her life meaning.”
Amazon Description: “At the age of 23, James Frey woke up on a plane to find his front teeth knocked out and his nose broken. He had no idea where the plane was headed nor any recollection of the past two weeks. An alcoholic for ten years and a crack addict for three, he checked into a treatment facility shortly after landing. There he was told he could either stop using or die before he reached age 24. This is Frey’s acclaimed account of his six weeks in rehab.”
Amazon Description: “Growing up in Beverly Hills, Amy Dresner had it all: a top-notch private-school education, the most expensive summer camps, and even a weekly clothing allowance. But at 24, she started dabbling in meth in San Francisco and unleashed a fiendish addiction monster. Soon, if you could snort it, smoke it, or have sex with it, she did.
Thus began a spiral that eventually landed her in the psych ward–and then penniless, divorced, and looking at 240 hours of court-ordered community service. For two years, assigned to a Hollywood Boulevard “chain gang,” she swept up syringes (and worse) as she bounced from rehabs to halfway houses, all while struggling with sobriety, sex addiction, and starting over in her forties. In the tradition of Orange Is the New Black and Jerry Stahl’s Permanent Midnight, this is an insightful, darkly funny, and shamelessly honest memoir of one woman’s battle with all forms of addiction, hitting rock bottom, and forging a path to a life worth living.”
Amazon Description: “In this tragicomic memoir about alcoholism as spiritual thirst, Heather King—writer, lawyer, and National Public Radio commentator—describes her descent into the depths of addiction. Spanning a decades-long downward spiral, King’s harrowing story takes us from a small-town New England childhood to hitchhiking across the country to a cockroach-ridden “artist’s” loft in Boston. Waitressing at ever-shabbier restaurants, deriving what sustenance she could from books, she became a morning regular at a wet-brain-drunks’ bar—and that was after graduating from law school. Saved by her family from the abyss, King finally realized that uniquely poetic, sensitive, and profound though she may have been, she was also a big-time mess. Casting her lot with the rest of humanity at last, she learned that suffering leads to redemption, that personal pain leads to compassion for others in pain, and, above all, that a sense of humor really, really helps.”
Amazon Description: “There are shelves of memoirs about overcoming the death of a parent, childhood abuse, rape, drug addiction, miscarriage, alcoholism, hustling, gangbanging, near-death injuries, drug dealing, prostitution, and homelessness.
Cupcake Brown survived all these things before she’d even turned twenty.
And that’s when things got interesting. . .
Orphaned by the death of her mother and left in the hands of a sadistic foster parent, young Cupcake Brown learned to survive by turning tricks, downing hard liquor, and ingesting every drug she could find while hitchhiking up and down the California coast. She stumbled into gangbanging, drug dealing, hustling, prostitution, theft, and, eventually, the best scam of all: a series of 9-to-5 jobs.
A Piece of Cake is unlike any memoir you’ll ever read. Moving in its frankness, this is the most satisfying, startlingly funny, and genuinely affecting tour through hell you’ll ever take.”
Amazon Description: “Elizabeth Wurtzel writes with her finger in the faint pulse of an overdiagnosed generation whose ruling icons are Kurt Cobain, Xanax, and pierced tongues. In this famous memoir of her bouts with depression and skirmishes with drugs, Prozac Nation is a witty and sharp account of the psychopharmacology of an era for readers of Girl, Interrupted and Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar.”
Amazon Description: “Garnering a vast amount of attention from young people and parents, and from book buyers across the country, Smashed became a media sensation and a New York Times bestseller. Eye-opening and utterly gripping, Koren Zailckas’s story is that of thousands of girls like her who are not alcoholics—yet—but who routinely use booze as a shortcut to courage and a stand-in for good judgment.”
Amazon Description: “Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and Ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling, heartbreaking, and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. As we watch Nic plunge into the mental and physical depths of drug addiction, he paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. It’s a harrowing portrait—but not one without hope.”
Amazon Description: “Domenica Ruta grew up in a working-class, unforgiving town north of Boston, in a trash-filled house on a dead-end road surrounded by a river and a salt marsh. Her mother, Kathi, a notorious local figure, was a drug addict and sometimes dealer whose life swung between welfare and riches, and whose highbrow taste was at odds with her hardscrabble life. And yet she managed, despite the chaos she created, to instill in her daughter a love of stories. Kathi frequently kept Domenica home from school to watch such classics as the Godfather movies and everything by Martin Scorsese and Woody Allen, telling her, “This is more important. I promise. You’ll thank me later.” And despite the fact that there was not a book to be found in her household, Domenica developed a love of reading, which helped her believe that she could transcend this life of undying grudges, self-inflicted misfortune, and the crooked moral code that Kathi and her cohorts lived by.
With or Without You is the story of Domenica Ruta’s unconventional coming of age—a darkly hilarious chronicle of a misfit ’90s youth and the necessary and painful act of breaking away, and of overcoming her own addictions and demons in the process. In a brilliant stylistic feat, Ruta has written a powerful, inspiring, compulsively readable, and finally redemptive story about loving and leaving.”
Take psychological self-tests and quizzes, read about symptoms and treatments, compare types of counselling and psychotherapy, learn about secure online therapy, and more
Collaborates with Harvard Health Publications to provide a wide range of unbiased, motivating resources and self-help tools for mental, social, and emotional. 100% nonprofit; dedicated to Morgan Leslie Segal, who died by suicide when she was 29.
Information on mental health, quizzes, and online self-help support groups. The site is owned and operated by Dr. John Grohol, inspired by the loss of his childhood friend to suicide.
An extensive, completely free collection of articles on social skills and getting past social awkwardness. It’s written by someone who’s struggled socially himself, and who has degrees in psychology and counseling.
(Updated 7/13/23) This is a resource guide for suicide prevention and recovery. There are links to educational sites, assessment/screening tools, trainings courses, recommended books, online support communities, mobile apps, and more.
Suicide Prevention & Recovery: 100+ Resources for Mental Health Professionals & Consumers
Lifetime – Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Count (L-SASI)InstructionsScoring | (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology) The L-SASI is an interview to obtain a detailed lifetime history of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior. Citations: Linehan, M. M. &, Comtois, K. (1996). Lifetime Parasuicide History. University of Washington, Seattle, WA, Unpublished work
Non-Suicidal Self-Injury Assessment Tool Brief Version | Full Version | Assessment tool created by Cornell Research Program on Self-Injury and Recovery
Reasons for Living ScaleScoring Instructions | RFL Scale (long form – 72 items) | RFL Scale (short form – 48 items) | RFL Scale (Portuguese) | RFL Scale (Romanian) | RFL Scale (Simplified Chinese) | RFL Scale (Traditional Chinese) | RFL Scale (Thai) | (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology) The RFL is a self-report questionnaire that measures clients’ expectancies about the consequences of living versus killing oneself and assesses the importance of various reasons for living. The measure has six subscales: Survival and Coping Beliefs, Responsibility to Family, Child-Related Concerns, Fear of Suicide, Fear of Social Disapproval, and Moral Objections. Citations: Linehan M. M., Goodstein J. L., Nielsen S. L., & Chiles J. A. (1983). Reasons for Staying Alive When You Are Thinking of Killing Yourself: The Reasons for Living Inventory. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51, 276-286
Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire | SBQ with Variable Labels | SBQ Scoring Syntax | (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology) The SBQ is a self-report questionnaire designed to assess suicidal ideation, suicide expectancies, suicide threats and communications, and suicidal behavior. Citations: Addis, M. & Linehan, M. M. (1989). Predicting suicidal behavior: Psychometric properties of the Suicidal Behaviors Questionnaire. Poster presented at the Annual Meeting of the Association for the Advancement Behavior Therapy, Washington, DC
Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII)SASII Instructions For Published SASII | SASII Standard Short Form with Supplemental Questions | SASII Short Form with Variable Labels | SASII Scoring Syntax | Detailed Explanation of SPSS Scoring Syntax | (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology) The SASII (formerly the PHI) is an interview to collect details of the topography, intent, medical severity, social context, precipitating and concurrent events, and outcomes of non-suicidal self-injury and suicidal behavior during a target time period. Major SASII outcome variables are the frequency of self-injurious and suicidal behaviors, the medical risk of such behaviors, suicide intent, a risk/rescue score, instrumental intent, and impulsiveness. Citations: Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., Brown, M. Z., Heard, H. L., Wagner, A. (2006). Suicide Attempt Self-Injury Interview (SASII): Development, Reliability, and Validity of a Scale to Assess Suicide Attempts and Intentional Self-Injury. Psychological Assessment, 18(3), 303-312
University of WA Suicide Risk/Distress Assessment Protocol | (Source: University of Washington Center for Behavioral Technology) Reynolds, S. K., Lindenboim, N., Comtois, K. A., Murray, A., & Linehan, M. M. (2006). Risky Assessments: Participant Suicidality and Distress Associated with Research Assessments in a Treatment Study of Suicidal Behavior. Suicide and Life-Threatening Behavior (36)1, 19-33. Linehan, M. M., Comtois, K. A., &, Ward-Ciesielski, E. F. (2012). Assessing and managing risk with suicidal individuals. Cognitive and Behavioral Practice, 19(2), 218-232
The Columbia Lighthouse Project | Offers free training on the Columbia Protocol (Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale, CSSR-S), a tool for assessing suicide risk
